R.I.P. 2010: GHOUL SKOOL

2010 was nothing short of spooktacular, mainly thanks to you guys and your support for us at EIT. Gosh, remember the tour? The DVD? That book? That time a dude wore our shirt in that porn?

And if you thought this year was all we had in us, 2011 is going to blow your doggie mind. But for now, here are some of my favs from the last 12 months. Thanks, y'all!













Please leave your favorites from the past year in the comments and we'll tally up your votes this weekend.

R.I.P. 2010: YONDER VITTLES!

EAT WELL!

"Griffith Laboratories food scientists’ industrial knowledge will support you in creating optimum products. They deliver succulence to the matrix and crispiness to the coating."

DANCE!


TRAVEL!

"What kind of a life does the person have, to edit (and horribly I might add) a fifteen year old video to make it look worse than it actually is? Give me a video of when you were a kid and I'll make you and your parents and your grandma look stupid too."

PROTECT YOURSELF!


Please leave your favorites from the past year in the comments and we'll tally up your votes this weekend.

R.I.P. 2010: FUTURE SCHLOCK!

2010! Whatta year! Besides Tuff Enuff for EIT! and the Quest for the Magick Crystal, we had slammers of darkness (and slammers of light),


pregnant men,



and of course 2010 was the Year of the ET Ripoff!





For the record, Mormons, I don't care if this was "supposed to be funny", it's still Terrible.



And let us never forget the little man in the boat.... (Rewarning: Clitty Ann is NSFMW)



Please leave your favorites from the past year in the comments and we'll tally up your votes this weekend.

R.I.P. 2010: COMMODORE GILGAMESH!

Please leave your favorites from the past year in the comments and we'll tally up your votes this weekend.

R.I.P. 2010: DEFENESTRATOR III

As 2010 draws to a close, we're going to spend this week looking back at our favorites from the past year. Let us fondly remember O'10 as the year we became teen ninjas...



...met our Alaskan drifter soulmate...


...spent a very awkward space journey with a Klingon...


...reminisced with the radical fresh ghosts of hipness past...





...discovered a way to do yoga without worshiping Satan...


...and we were repeatedly thrown through windows for no reason.


We'll miss ya, 2010! Please leave your favorites from the past year in the comments and we'll tally up your votes this weekend.

MERRY X-MAS FROM EIT!

Bored out of your mind this Christmas? Live in LA? Then don't miss this!


AND CHECK OUT HOW AWESOME OUR NEW GLOW IN THE DARK POSTERS ARE!!!



MERRY CHRISTMAS, FOLKS!

THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS

SENSUAL CHRISTMAS BEAR!

GIFTS FOR BABY JESUS!

At least somebody's December birthday isn't overshadowed by Christmas...

IT'S TIME FOR CAT MASSAGE (FAN ART)!

Christmas came early this year here at EIT! headquarters, thanks to this masterpiece by our friend Sera in Portland!

SANTATROCITIES!

Man, Santa is a creep. He watches you constantly, puts your name on a secret list, and breaks into your house while you sleep.



Way less creepy are our friends from the Vancouver SantArchy/SantaCon, who took a break from their duties as harbringers of the coming santapocalypse this year with the WORLD FAMOUS EIT! HOLIDAY SPECIAL!





Good job guys! A special Xmas shout out to Napalm Dragon, who made it happen!

CELEBRITY GUIDE TO XMAS!

Because celebrities are always right.

SQUIRREL-TREE LOVE RAP!

You asked for the Chipper Love Rap - now here it is! Enjoy your Conifer Holocaust turkeys!

FLORIDA FANS!

Floridians! Our best friend and tour cohort Greg Barris is back in Florida tearing it up with two amazing shows. The Heart of Darkness will be performing in Tampa and Orlando on 12/18-12/22 at the Creative Loafing Space and The Social. Along with fellow comedians Pedro Lima, Rory Scovel from Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, musical guests Set and Setting and host Ricky Reyes. The show on the 20th will feature $10 tickets with a portion of the proceeds going to the Make A Wish Foundation of Tampa).



YOU'D BE A BIG DUMMY TO MISS THESE SHOWS.

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/event.php?eid=169501926418067

Monday December 20th 730 doors 8pm show Heart of Darkness at the Creative Loafing Space in Tampa 1911 N 13th St
Tampa, Florida 33605
$10 at the door $8 advanced
BUY TICKETS ONLINE:
http://lasso.bigcartel.com/product/heart-of-darkness-tampa-12-20-10

Greg Barris
Pedro Lima
Rory Scovel
w/ host Ricky Reyes and special guest band SET and SETTING (facebook.com/setandsetting)

Wednesday Heart of Darkness Orlando at the Social 8pm doors 8:30show 54 North Orange Avenue
Orlando, FL 32801
$10 at the door $8 advanced
BUY TICKETS ONLINE:
http://lasso.bigcartel.com/product/heart-of-darkness-orlando-wed-12-22-10

Greg Barris
Pedro Lima
Rory Scovel
w/ host Patrick Garrity, special guest Carmen Morales and musica TBA

STEP AWAY FROM THE CHRISTMAS TREE!

CHIPPER'S CHRISTMAS ADVENTURE!

THE MAJESTY OF CHRISTMAS MUSIC!

FORGOTTEN CHRISTMAS CLASSICS!

THE RETURN OF CHRISTMAS

KRISTMAS IN CHICAGO!

EIT!, Terrible Claus, and the whole gang are back again this year with that timeless classic, the Everything Is Terrible! Holiday Special! We'll be showing all of your holiday favorites along with a heapin' mess of new classics! Terrible Claus will have Terrible gifts for anyone who wants 'em! Al Scorch will be playing a special holiday set! Decorations! Bad videos! Fun! Caroling kitties! And it is all free! God bless us, everything!


Here's a lil' sumptin' from the belly of The Commodore to get those holiday juices a' pumpin!

DER KRUMPUS SALE! + YETI MAG!

Fellas! Wanna get really excited about something your girl will probably beg you to stop halfway through? Ladies! Wanna creep out your co-workers by showing your affection for something that skews male according to a VH1 executive? Well, Der Krampus has been watching all y'all, and promises to deliver this holiday season! NEW EIT CAT SHIRT!* NEW GLOW IN THE DARK SCREENPRINTED POSTER!* SALE ON ALL ITEMS! IT ALL STARTS TODAY!

And as a special gift, all orders will come with a bonus DVD of the newly expanded EIT Holiday Special. It includes all the specialness of last year's edition plus several new videos for this year! And if you just want the Holiday Special, it's also on sale separately for only $5! You can't lose! Don't even try to lose!


ALSO! WE TOOK OVER THIS ISSUE OF YETI MAGAZINE!
Thanks to the coolest dude in the world, Mike McGonigal over at Yeti Publishing, we went apeshit and did 36 PAGES of art, writing, photos, and all sorts of Jerry Maguoria! He even let us do the cover! Order now and make it the perfect stocking stuffer, or just stock your own stuff by getting a copy for yourself.



*pre-order them now in our store!

THE BALLAD OF SHOTGUN JONES

Big thanks to 23 Wolves for sending us this magic crystal. I highly recommend the feature-length version, which is kinda like "Miami Vendetta" sharing a one room apartment with "Bad Boys II". If you can imagine.

THE OPPORTUNITY BUSINESS!

SPOONMAN!

KIDDIE KARATE KRACKDOWN!

Green Ranger doesn't give a shit as long as it's not on school property.

YOUR KID'S ON DRUGS

These kids today with the heavy metal and the psychedelic heroin...

NEMESIS 4!

and

KNOW THE GAME

THIEVES OF FORTUNE TRAILER!

BIRD FLU!!!

I bet you forgot all about being scared of bird flu.

WELL HERE"S A REMINDER!!

SWEET CONTRACT, DUDE!

DESTROY ALL MOVIES LESSON 4: (OR: FUCK YOU HIPPIE)

In this thrilling conclusion we see punks fighting, and the Man fights back. Spoiler alert: The Man wins...

VACATION!

Hey gang,
We're taking this week off to work on our next failed television project:

(Promotional artwork courtesy of the Intern-Thing and 900 Koreans.)

We're currently in a fierce battle with the network to determine how many mature vagina closeups we are allowed to show on Saturday mornings. (The network is demanding at least five per episode.) Anyway, we'll be back in a week. See you turkeys later!

DESTROY ALL MOVIES LESSON 3: LOVE & LIFE LESSONS (OR: LIFE IS PAIN)

And don't forget you punkers & new wave geeks, Destroy All Movies 2 Day Film Fest starts tomorrow!

DESTROY ALL MOVIES LESSON 2: MUSIC & MOHAWKS (OR, RATS RATS RATS!)

Read the fantastic review of the punktastic DESTROY ALL MOVIES! here!

DESTROY ALL MOVIES LESSON 1: OVERVIEW (OR, VICTIMS OF A TOUGH SOCIETY)

From the sound of it, Zack Carlson & Bryan Connolly's 'Destroy All Movies: The Complete Guide To Punks On Film' sounds like an impossible (and insane) project to conquer. Chronicling every appearance of a punk or new waver in virtually any movie ever? Interviews that go as deep as a conversation with Kirk Thatcher, writer of the punk song 'I Hate You' from the bus scene in Star Trek IV? Over six years of research and 600 pages total?! And what's this? You want me to help make sense of if all in a seventeen-minute culture jam? You're on! Honestly, Zack is the most lovable cook you will ever meet (he still has a real ball-pit in his house!) and did an amazing job helping me get the footage for this together. And if you live in LA you can meet the guy in person for Cinefamily's TWO DAY FILM FEST MELTDOWN. Class of 1984 (w/ Mark Lester in person!) Times Square, D.O.A; The Day My Kid Turned Punk!, and so, so much more. Your pal Ghouly Skooly will be there, and I say let's sleep on the couches like a bunch of crusties and spit on the staff all weekend long. I'm going to assume they'd be into that for effect.

BABYSITTING RULZ!

THE BIRTH OF A HERO!

Thanks to 23 Wolves for the tape!

2.5 MINUTE REVENGE OF THE RED BARON

Mickey Rooney is kinda like the Dolph Lundgren of the 1940's.



AND!

The wonderful folks at Wham City are doing a comedy tour and it is coming to Chicago this Sunday, November 14th at 9 PM! And motherfucking EIT! is opening for them! Seriously, this is going to be a night that you will feel with all of your being. Either come to The Hideout (354 W Wabansia St) or miss out on the comedic weirdness of David Bowie, Showbeast, Dan Deacon, Egg Schrader (an actual egg), April Camlin, Tim Allen, the Creepers, and so much more. Buy lots of tickets now! Don't forget to bring those fourth and fifth eyes of yers. Yul need 'em. And if you don't live in Chicago, go to one of these other places and see this show (sadly, EIT! will only be at the Chicago show). Booya!

CREATION CELEBRATION!

Thank God for them all...

DEMON ALERT!

Just because Halloween is over doesn't mean we can relax, people. We must be ever vigilant or the demons will possess our livestock and steal our social security money.



UPDATE: now with sound!



From the ever-inspirational Wiser family series.

CAVEMAN BLUES!

DEFENESTRATION NOW

This is it. My namesake and my legacy. I hope you like the sights and sounds of breaking glass as much as I do.



A special thanks to Mr. Deelite at The Immaculate Consumption for his invaluable assistance. Also thanks to fifty cent rentals and a lengthy period of unemployment without which this wouldn't have been possible.

UPDATE: I probably should have mentioned this is just the abridged version so it's not a complete history of film defenestration. The full version is over thirty minutes. Seriously.

SO YOU WANNA BE A GAMBLER!?

This guy has a totally different slant on how to play slots than the Slot Guru. God damn this guy is cool.

IF YOU LOVE YOUR YETI...

Set him free.

666 GOD MADE ME 9/11:11

WORM WOMAN!

CLUB MARIO IS KILLER FRESH, MAN DUDE

I used to wake up early for this shit.



Thanks to Eric Seelig for the tapes!

THE TIME HAS COME

This is it. The video I have kept hidden from the public for almost a year. I thought I would only play this live; to physically see the faces of the audience as they collectively barfed. But now is the time to show this to the people... Though I must warn you, you seriously cannot un-see this and once you push play, there's no going back...



UPDATE: Due to absolutely no demand, here's a translation courtesy of German speaking pal Thomas!

"Extra-Terrestian! You must go on planet "Earth." As you know,
otherwise our race will die out. We unlearned (or, like, lost the
ability) to have fun at sex. On Earth, we write the 19th century. There
I will bring you to a family."

(ET pops up in smoke)
Man: "A little blowing in the morning drives off all anger and
worries. My Beloved...

ET (scientific observing tone): "Female Earth Humans take genitals of
the man into the mouth. And how big the penis gets! It seems..."

ET: (Seriously, I'm not kidding.): "My hole starts to itch. Whether the
sex addiction is infectious on earth? I like/enjoy it, how the man puts
is dick into the snatch/cunt/twat (whatever word for vagina is the most
vulgar.) of the woman. That is a BIG cunt, with lobes (German word for a
wet cleaning rag applied to the labiae.)"

SEE YA IN HELL!

I hope everybody remembered to restock their Jack Chick catalog. Halloween is the busy season.

2.5 MINUTE THE GATE 2!

ZOMBIE WORKOUT (PLUS 2-MINUTE DEATH SPA!)

I need to lose some weight if I'm going to fit into my Dolph costume this year.

Here's some zombies working out:



Special thanks to Bob Konow of Chicago for that one.

And now for some 2-Minute Death Spa...



Happy Halloween everybody!

WATCH OUT KIDS!

*From the VHS collection of James Lawrence of Albuquerque

THE DOC WITH THE COCK THAT ROCKS

This tape is a lot like DJ Shadow's 'Entroducing' for me. Sure, it's a little dated, but every time I go back there's all sorts of little things I never remember being there. Maybe it has to do with maturity, where each time I watch I'm a little older and a tad wiser which makes me experience it in a whole new way. And dammit, I am going to use the whole part of the buffalo here and share with you proof that there is a God, and God's a lady who knows what she wants. TGIF!



And this is happening on Saturday! GET YOUR TIX BEFORE IT SELLS OUT, NEW YORK!

GET YER MAGICK ON

Only 10 magickal operating days left 'til Halloween!

BUCKS N' BLUNTS

This video is dedicated to the memory of Bob Hice - hunter, orator and mystic.

SEXUAL ASSAULT: MUNCHIE STYLE!

And in case you were wondering what ever happened to internet...

STARE HARDER AT YOUR TV

FALL FOLIAGE FUN!

Hey Chicago!

Get your party shirts on, because this Tuesday we proudly present the latest installment of EiT at the Movies, FALL FOLIAGE FUN! It's going to be an evening of mayhem, magick, and the ventriloquism stylings of our special guest April Camlin!



As always, the show will be FREE, with donations going to the fabulous Odd Obsession Video! Woo!

HAPPY INTERPLANETARY CONFEDERATION DAY! CELEBRATE!

It's October 15th! Put on your UFO rainbow sashes and march around your driveway!

BEHOLD THE ONE TRUE SPACE BROTHER

ALL MY UNARIANS

(Can this count as my post for Boring Week, too?)

IT'S UNARIAN WEEK!

In honor of the upcoming Interplanetary Confederation Day on October 15 and the imminent arrival of the space brothers, this week we will be raising our consciousness and celebrating all things Unarius. See ya on the mothership!





A big, big thanks to John Boles (who sent in 5 Unarian tapes!) for making this week possible.

WHAT THE REPTILIAN HUMANOIDS DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW...

Area 51 was an inside job.

FUNKY FREESTYLE!

Thanks to Dragon Sound for the tape!

TED NUGENT ON BLACK AND WHITE

YOU NEED THIS CRAP!

Thanks to Clayton in Denver for the creepy dolls video! More to come from that gem.

TEXAS-SIZE WORKOUT!

EIT! IN TORONTO! THIS SATURDAY!

Well, kinda. Our superspecialsuperfuntimenogginfuckingpuppypettingarf!arf!booya! Nuit Blanche Mix! will be screened all night long at The Drake Hotel from 7 PM - 4 AM!
For more info, here.

A PEOPLE'S HISTORY OF BRANSON MISSOURI

SO MANY THINGS TO FREAK OUT ABOUT!

Seriously folks... EVERYTHING is terrible(!)

• Satan,
• Mormons,
• Jehovas Witnesses,
• Satans Witnesses,
• New Agers...

3-MINUTE EXTREME HEIST!

THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

MAN THIS IS GROSS

Wanna see more of this? Me neither. No, seriously, this movie is incredible and you have to come see this as The Cinefamily, EIT! and Rotten Cotton present 'CHESTER TURNER TRIBUTE NIGHT! WITH MORE FOUND CRAP FROM ROB SCHRAB & DAN HARMON! Get your tickets here!

More info on the great Chester Turner at the wonderful Bleeding Skull.

BLACK DEVIL DOLL FROM HELL!	UCBcomedy.com

And here's the poster for the show!

MIND OF A SEAL

"The mind controls the body, the body does not control the mind."
J.C. Carracci

DON'T DO THESE DON'TS!

or do, whatever...

RUSTY!

Just because he looks different doesn't mean he is different.

3 MINUTE HOW I SAVED THE PRESIDENT

Finally, a dog that tells people NOT to assassinate politicians.

2 EVERYTHING 2TOURDIARY 10!

Well, we did it. We found the Magick Crystal.

Sigh.

Don't get me wrong, it's nice to be home sleeping on my VHS bed again, but something feels...missing. Sunshine hurts my eyes and pizza tastes bad. I saw a dog on a skateboard the other day and barely even laughed.

I gotta be honest- I miss the van.
I miss the weird shit on the dash (Virgin Frankenstein by Gracie- thanks, Gracie!),



I miss Lords Hinyin and Minyin,

photo by Michael Gill

photo by Steven Soloway

photo by Sybil

I miss nice people in St. Louis giving us cookies (thanks Erin!),

photo by H. Lindsy Donahue

I even miss the Commodore threatening to fire Yonder Vittles and me on stage.

photo by Bruce Ojard

But most of all I miss those sweet, sweet Jerries.

photo by September Slater

Thanks to the Hollywood Theater, Clinton and everyone at Central Cinema (Quentin-we have your tape!), the Ridge in Vancouver, Missoula, Montana, the Corn Palace, the folks at the Dundee Theatre in Omaha, Tim and Shayna and everyone else at Zinema 2, Cedar Cultural Center (thanks again Ray) and the AV Club Twin Cities, Kate and Project Lodge in Madison, and Times Cinema in Milwaukee!! Booyah to you all!!!

SHOW US YOUR FREEDOM!

All of you Chicago juggalos and juggalettes best be klearing off your kalendars this weekend for some muthafuckin' majickkk! This Sunday the Brew Not Bombs crew will be blowing up the Portage Theater turning base metals into gold with all of your favorite bands, DJs and videos provided by the EIT! nation.

PSALTY!

*From the collection of Krazy Davey and Unkle Al!

3 MINUTE KILLER WORKOUT!

Featuring Ted Prior of Deadly Prey fame!



You can thank/blame Trygg for sending us this monstrosity.

2:20 MINUTE 2020 TEXAS GLADIATORS

This one goes out to our friends at the Alamo Drafthouse.

DOGVILLE BABYLON

A brief history of the behind-the-scenes scandals of the stars of Dogville comedy shorts. It wasn't just all fun and animal abuse.


Special thanks to Odd Obsession.

IN CASE YOU MISSED MIAMI CONNECTION...

I made this as a trailer, but it's really a 2 minute movie in itself. From the weirdos who brought you MIAMI CONNECTION we got LA STREETFIGHTERS aka NINJA TURF! Don't miss it!

FFBR RUNNER UPS #2!

Our man Johnathan did a fine job at the FFBR and here were some of his babies. A lot of the other contestants gave me their stuff on DVD, so with their permission and when I feel like ripping them, you will seeing more great stuff, I promise!

FFBR RUNNER UPS!

Here is just a taste of what went down at this year's Found Footage Battle Royale at The Cinefamily during the insanely funtertaining EVERYTHING IS FESTIVAL!

Knocked out (unjustly) in the first round, we had The Clipinator aka Doug Karo! Check out his awesome stuff HERE.



The ladies really represented this year too and LA's own Laura W really perved up the place...

KILLIN' IT WITH PAUL CRIK

Our good friend, Paul Crik, has really been helping us with our recovery and we want to share the art of killin' it with others in need of help.









Check out PaulCrik.com and the rest of his videos on Youtube.
This is it. Fuck it. It is what it is.

2EVERYTHING2TOURDIARY 8&9!

Our brain-cleansing sponsor Paul Crik has allowed us a 5-minute break from our past life reikihypnohydrotherapy, so let's make this quick. The past 2 weeks have been fucking incredible.

The Friday before last we did a special surprise Albuquerque show where we played with the awesome bands A Church Is Not A Hospital, John Dieterich and Friends, and Fat Worm of Error, who were kind enough to provide musical accompaniment to our monster show! It was a match made in Hell:



Then we pointed the van due north to Denver, where we celebrated Keith's birthday with the Starz film center crew and Clayton, the Chosen Bearer of the Jerries! Hooray Denver!

Next we had a show at the world famous Loft cinema in Tuscon, where the magickal circle was finally completed and the portal to Hell opened!



Our task complete, we celebrated with a show in Tempe with the Midnite Movie Mamacita and a very interesting visit to the Unarian compound/ show at the Che Cafe in San Diego.

Then it was only a short ride up the cost to the big show, the Everything Is Festival at the Silent Movie Theater in LA!





Three coke parties and five pitch meetings later, it was on to San Francisco and four shows at the amazing Red Vic Theater:



Photo courtesy of David and Allison. Seriously San Francisco, if you aren't a Red Vic regular, you should be. They have a cat for Duane's sake.

Finally we returned our videos to their natural habitat with a show at Neighborhood Thrift/Cafe in Fresno:



And tonight we make our Portland Debut at 10 PM at the Hollywood Theater!

Well, back to the sensory deprivation chamber. We've got a lot of negative karma to work through. Until next time, Terriblites....

this is it. fuck it. it is what it is.

GRAAAAAAAAVE DIGGGGGGGER!!!!

Just because you're a munch and you didn't get your weekend passes in time, you can still get individual tickets for all shows at EVERYTHING IS FESTIVAL!

A NIGHT TO REMEMBER...

Come in costume, and we will treat you like royalty.

DUANES GET IN FREE!!!

THE PROP COMIC PREACHER

I don't get what I'm doing wrong. I'm literally covered in covenant blood and I feel nothing...

HOMESCHOOL HELL!

Part 3 in the ongoing series "Future Schlock's reasons to never have children"

THIS MOVIE WILL KICK YOUR TEETH IN

People, PEOPLE! Listen up.

Zack Carlson and the famous ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE are giving us a fucking gift this Saturday specifically for the one and only EVERYTHING IS FESTIVAL!!! You simply cannot watch this trailer and not compulsively buy a ticket to Los Angeles. There's just no other option. Seriously, 99 times out of a hundred we make those 2 Minute Movies because watching them in their entirety is like having your eyes gouged out by a trance DJ, mid set. Not this one, though. From the first frame to the glorious last this thing sums up everything that is Everything Is Terrible! It's simply a one-of-a-kind gem-bone.

SURE, WHY NOT AN EGG RAP?

Motherfuckers act like they forgot about eggs.

2EVERYTHING2TOURDIARY7!

This week was our long-awaited return to the loving embrace of Texas and the Alamo Drafthouse. Despite van troubles we rolled in just in time for a sold-out show at the Alamo Lake Creek in Austin, then to Houston for a joint birthday celebration for the Commodore and Bob at the Alamo West Oaks, and then we finished the weekend in San Antonio at the Alamo West Lakes:


(thanks to Jaz for the pic)

Then we bid a tearful goodbye to Austin, home of breakfast tacos and swimming holes, with our triumphant return to the Alamo Ritz! This time we had all our cords in hand and everything went great. Zack, John, and Bret (and everyone else at the Drafthouse), you guys are amazing.

Now we're in New Mexico! Finally, a place where we blend in!



Special thanks to Kief at the Guild, D-Cat for planning tonight's show at the Ubermind, Fat Worm of Error for the noise, and Jenna, ABQ's street teamer extraordinaire, for the bag of 27 Jerrys!



Tomorrow night at 8:30 we'll be in Denver at the Starz Film Center! See you there, Colorado! Booyah!

EVERYTHING IS FESTIVAL, MY NINJAS!

Promise you won't throw rocks and feces at us and we'll promise not to take our tops off. Deal?

SPECIAL SUPER SURPRISE SHOW!

yahoo Albuquerque!

MORE NEW AGE ATROCITIES!

We've warned you here, and here before people! Maybe these two chuckleheads can get you to wake up... the New Age Movement is organized and it is (slowly) ruining us all!



Albuquerque! Come see us tonight (August 19th) at the Guild Cinema @ 9:15PM SHARP! It's gonna knock yer dicks off!

THIS VIDEO WAS ONCE $500

Thankfully the seller was patient enough to met me in the middle at a cool fourteen bucks.



And it looks like we've hit the bigtime!

SOMETHING SMELLS TERRIBLE

My grandmother had an entire guest bedroom FILLED TO THE CEILING with this shit. To this day, I can't smell roses.



THE QUEST FOR THE MAGICK CRYSTAL IS COMING TO ALBUQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO THIS THURSDAY!

LET'S END CYBERBULLYING!

We have a lot of laughs here (allegedly), but it can be easy to forget that these are all real people with real emotions. For that, you should all be ashamed of yourselves. Hopefully this guilt trip will show you the error of your ways.



Thanks again to Jim Lauwers for the tape!

AUSTIN! THE QUEST FOR THE MAGICK CRYSTAL CONTINUES TONIGHT AT 7PM AT THE ALAMO RITZ! GET YER TICKETS!

2EVERYTHING2TOURDIARY6!

So this is our second week



And holy shit you guys, Florida. Home of boob magnets and mailboxes shaped like manatees and Dinosaur World!

First we went to Gainesville and met the sweet folks at Spin Cycle and the awesome Amanda Justice of Video Rodeo, who screened VHS for us in her backyard at 4am! It was another sweaty night, but everyone had a great time and Keaton even got some video:



Then we rocked Miami, where we had some truly excellent Terriblites in masks made specially for the occasion! Great work guys!

In Orlando we met back up with our friends Greg, Yazan and Dima aka Heart of Darkness and Mother of Three, who forgave us of all our sins yet again!





We finished out the week in Tampa and New Orleans, but all we can remember about those shows are party dawgs in tank tops and carryout daquiris that smelled like paint thinner. Spring break!

Oh, and Max in the Tron shirt in Tampa. Hi Max.

SPIKE IT... STRAIGHT TO MY HEART

Ok, ok, so your pal Ghoul Skool has been a little busy lately. In fact, with this FESTIVAL in the making and all the work that's going into it, I'm sort of losing my mind (Got your tickets yet?? This thing WILL sell out, so please hurry so I can sleep tonight). Anyway, what I am trying to say is, I don't have a video this week. BUT you all may recall a young man who made this for the Tuff Enuff contest a little while back. Well folks, Jordan has returned and this time brings us his take on the 3 Minute Movie, and truth be told... I'm worried this guy might be getting a little too big for his britches. So when this guy has his own found footage show and is a big time star, at least we can say we taught him everything he knows. Enjoy!

THE EVENT TO END ALL EVENTS!!!

Imagine a weekend where all your fantasies come true. A weekend where you can just be...free. Laugh until your sides literally split open, and feel as cool as a skateboarding, shade-tippin' dog. We're talking about the festival to end all film festivals -- Everything Is Festival! (aka the 10th Annual Gathering Of The Terribles)! For reasons beyond our control (God's plan), we at Cinefamily are giving the found footage freaks... at Everything Is Terrible! free range of the weekend, and letting them do whatever the hell they want (note: we did have to say “no” to the all-night helicopter foam party). This makes it the official L.A. premiere of their latest mash-up feature-length film, 2Everything 2Terrible 2: Tokyo Drift, not to mention some of EIT!’s favorite movies in their uncut glory, plus dance parties, BBQs, a return of the Cinefamily Found Footage Battle Royal, and top-secret über-rare prints from the vaults of Cinefamily and Austin, TX’s famous Alamo Drafthouse! If that wasn't enough to drench your dick, EIT! will also be playing assorted madness from all their favorite pals they've met on their mystical journey: TV Carnage, Waverly Films, Rob Schrab, Black Magic Roller Coaster and tons more! Overall, we promise it will be the most fun you'll ever have at this dump! Think Sundance, but for discerning slobs like you! Swag-bags for folks who buy weekend passes! The only thing we ask is to bring along your old friend...Imagination!

DAY ONE (August 28th):
- Spend the day with EIT! and friends as we play tons of unseen gems, old friends, etc. focusing on KIDS, CHRISTIAN MADNESS, AND BORING STUFF!
- 2Everything 2Terrible 2: Tokyo Drift (official L.A. premiere!)
- Super rare/amazing screening of 'Miami Connection' presented by the world famous ALAMO DRAFHOUSE!
-Total Madness Dance Party (aka Night Of 1000 Duanes!)

DAY TWO (August 29th):
- ALL DAY BBQ!
- Special one-of-a-kind screening with top secret celebrity guests! (you will not want to miss this)
- Found Footage Battle Royale!!!
- epic big-ass shindig to follow!

MORE INFO HERE!

RAPPIN' MATHEMATICS!

"BRAZIL" - TAKE NO DAMAGE

I just heard on the internet that Take No Damage is scheduled to record a new album in September, just in time for the apocalypse. You heard it here first.



Here's the kinda stuff they've been doing since 2008: Short Pockets and Country Death.

THE ARRIVAL

Your ancestors sold out to intergalactic scammers and now cosmic hipppies have come to raise your consciousness. Pretty standard stuff for evolving into a spiritual energy being of pure love oscillation...



Much, much more Unarius stuff coming soon!

ORLANDO! THE QUEST FOR THE MAGICK CRYSTAL CONTINUES TONIGHT AT 8PM AT WILL'S PUB! GET YER TICKETS!

WEEKEND KOMMERCIAL KORNER!

This ain't your stupid parents' church.


Hey, kids, you like corndogs? (Courtesy of Eric Seelig)


And here's something for people that only have cellphones because they are shiny.


MIAMI! THE QUEST FOR THE MAGICK CRYSTAL CONTINUES TONIGHT AT COSFORD CINEMA AT 8PM! GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!

2EVERYTHING2TOURDIARY 5!

We started this week with an excellent show at the International House in Philly, where Everything Is Terrible: the Van got a new addition courtesy of our own Cmdre. Gilgamesh:



From there, we pointed our van due South, and sweet mother of Duane it is hot down here.

Despite the coma-inducing heat, we managed to do sweet shows at the Varsity Theater in Chapel Hill, NC and the Olde North Charleston Picture House in (where else) North Charleston, SC, where we met the greatest dogs of all time, Lloyd and Diane!



After that it was a sweaty ride to Hotlanta, where we had an absolutely amazing crowd at the Plaza theater! Booyah Geoff and all the other party dawgs at the Plaza! Booyah Atlanta! An extra special booyah to Brian Kelly, bearer of 39 Jerries and the newest priest of our cult of self-completion!








After the tragic loss of Airwave Ranger to another cult, we made our way to Athens, Ga, where we did a double bill of shows at the fabulous CineBar, to which we apologize again for setting off the fire alarm. Yonder Vittles' demand that our new roadie "fog the shit out of the place" may have been a little extreme. But another extra special booyah to Jamie and the rest of the staff of the fabulous Grit, the only place on tour where we've eaten twice in 24 hours. Seriously dudes, it is awesome.

Now we are in Gainesville, FL, where tonight we fog the shit out of Spin Cycle! Doors at 8:30, show at 9:00! BOOYAH!