3 MINUTE DREAM TRAP

2 MINUTE BEACH FEVER

A young Japanese man is set on a quest by his rich father to find the world's best opening line in order to "get the girl." But when he teams up with Kato Kaelin and they stumble upon a magic love potion, insanity ensues.

GUNFUN!

WHAT WOMEN WANT!

Remember life on the farm? This'll remind you.

FAST CARS & BEAUTIFUL WOMEN

You don't have to masturbate to just one any more.

WEEKEND KOMMERCIAL KORNER!

Need a vague, non-committal answer to life's important questions?


Chicago gets the worst real life superheroes...


Tired of having the default bouncing booty on your phone? Now you've got options.


PITTSBURGH! THE QUEST FOR THE MAGICK CRYSTAL CONTINUES TONIGHT AT 10PM AT THE SOUTHSIDE WORKS CINEMA! BUY YOUR TICKETS NOW!

3-MINUTE BOY WONDERZ!

Today's TUFF ENUFF FOR EIT video is from Operator Overload of Decatur, GA! OMG!!!!!

THE GLAMOUROUS LADIES OF WRESTLING SHUFFLE

Everything about this clip is so 'USA Up All Night.' The pastels, the 'babes,' the douche host, ugly humor, etc. I wonder if any of them are still trying to make a go of their careers and living a 'Ram Jam' lifestyle. Look at me blabbering on...
Take it away, gals!

TWO'FOR TUESDAY!

Look, I love a heavily edited vid as much as they next guy, but this weekend I found something weird and pretty great. I always knew Brazilian sensation XUXA was a remarkable maniac, but I never knew her as a 'holyfuckingshit' rock opera movie star! 'Super Xuxa' was the most watched movie in Brazil EVER from 1988-2001, and you will soon understand why.

Seriously, look at every shot with care and tell me what this means to you. What if we all woke up every morning to this? How different do you think life would be? The film also includes a lot more of that puppet dog, white child slavery, the devil (I think), a pink dolphin, and much, much, much more. What caught my eye in the first place was one of the best VHS covers I've ever seen...


Anyways, other cultures sure are funny!

DREAMING OF FOXY BOXING!

SEDUCTION 102

So, you've practiced all the moves in Smooching for Dummies but you still can't find a live human being to make out with. Well, once again EIT is here to save the day! Watch this lesson from the Tommy Wiseau school of seduction and you'll be caressing her thighs on satin sheets in no time.

THE RADICAL ASPHALT CAPITAL OF THE COUNTRY

These sweet blade dudes and radical blade ladies are sent from the neonest decade of them all to show us that rollerblades are, after all, totally sweet.

MUCH LOVE FOXXI & BAMBI

New York is blessed with the fine show Foxxi & Bambi; here's a sampling.



LADIES SHAKE YOUR COULOS! Check out their awesome Myspace page.

ASSHOLES TALK ABOUT LA

¿ES USTED INCAPAZ?

For more pills that end in max, go to Max Laboratory.

CBS CARES ABOUT YOUR PROSTATE

And remember, HIV tests make for fabulous Valentine's Day presents. Happy Holidays!

FLIRTING WITH MAGIC

I'll let the testimonials from the back of the box handle this:
"What a great way to meet chicks!" - Bob - Single, 25
"Your magic tricks blew me away!" - Cathy - Single, 30 Something
"After my divorce, my social skills needed help; your flirting course did the trick!" - Barry - Divorced, 45



No....I'm not a weirdo.

ROOM SERVICE SAUSAGE PARTY

The only thing on the menu is cucumber.

VANNA WHITE IS BETTER THAN YOU

ARE YOU A TERRIBLE PERSON?

LOVE, SEX AND DATING IN THE 90s

From the excellent video The Art of Meeting Men.

FABIO'S A TIME FOR ROMANCE

THEY'RE GONNA PUT ME IN THE MOVIES!

*from the collection of Yonder Vittles.

HOOTEIRE CINEMA

Today, I present to you a genre of films that really means a lot to me. A genre overlooked by college professors and pretentious jerks everywhere: Ladies and gentlemen I present to you, 'Hooteire Cinema' (aka Hooter Cinema to the laymen).

Cinema historians and critics defined the canon of Hooteire Cinema in retrospect; many of those involved in the making of classic bonerrific movies later professed to be unaware of having created a distinctive type of film. Hooteires embrace a variety of genres, from the strong willed woman trying to make her way as a stripper to support her only son, to the strong willed woman trying to climb the corporate ladder in a cruel, man's world. Although the premises of these films may have been as varied as the protagonists' bikini collection, one fact kept them all together- hooters are awesome.

It's hard to believe, but as far as the critics are concerned, Hooteire Cinema will forever be the surgical scar on the boob job that is modern Hollywood. But I defy any film critic working today to tell me they don't have fond memories of sitting in their parents basement at 1am on a Friday, watching 'The Great Bikini Off Road Adventure' in awe with the sound turned off so their parents don't wake up. I'm getting teary penised just thinking about it.

MEMORIES OF A MILF

Thanks, Marah!

IT'S INFOMERCIAL DAY AT EIT!

Say what you will about the withered souls of infomercial producers, but they sure do know who watches paid programming at 3 am:

stupid people,


girls with low self-esteem (and the creepy men who prefer them that way),



and budding serial killers.


Oh, and, uhm, us.

TAP! TAP! TAP!

MATH GETS YOU LAID

It's True. Math gets you the love and affection of second rate pop-stars. Does anyone know the quadratic formula of my boner? Hello!

APRIL IS FURRY MONTH AT EIT!

If you had to choose, which one would you fuck: Gerbert or Howard The Duck?

I GOTTA GET MY MUSIC OUT THERE...

HAWAII CHAIR!

Thanks to Joel for this one. Honestly, imagine sitting next to someone at the office in this thing. I have a feeling this is louder than a lawnmower.

BIG BAD COOL J

This one is for the kids...

BRAWLIN' BROADS! (2000)

For a closer look into what hell looks like go to Brawlinbroads.com

Thank you/fuck you Odd Obsession.