INTERNET EXPLOSION!

GET RICH QUICK WITH DRUG WAR SPOILS!

Join us for more get-rich-quick quackery next week as Future Schlock and Defenestrator III present HOW TO MAKE MORE MONEY! Hosted by our genius co-producer Ian Abramson and featuring Chicago's finest financial gurus/broke comedians! Take charge of your financial future and join us next Thursday, June 12 at The Hungry Brain (2319 W. Belmont)! 9pm! FREE!

MAKE MONEY, AVOID JAIL MAYBE!

What could possibly go wrong? You too can take charge of your financial future TOMORROW NIGHT at The Hungry Brain as Chicago's own Dan Friesen, Nick Rouley and John Eisenrich teach you HOW TO MAKE MONEY! Featuring a special slideshow presentation by Just for Graphs (aka Kyle Scanlan and Ross Kelly)! Video by EiT's Future Schlock & Defenestrator III! 9pm! FREE!

ACHIEVE TOTAL FREEDOM!

Thanks to Jesse Thompson for the tape!

ADD SPRINKLES, LOSE WEIGHT

But how does it work again?

KACHINGO! = PROFITS

It's so easy to capitalize on economic disaster!

SOMETHING SMELLS TERRIBLE

My grandmother had an entire guest bedroom FILLED TO THE CEILING with this shit. To this day, I can't smell roses.



THE QUEST FOR THE MAGICK CRYSTAL IS COMING TO ALBUQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO THIS THURSDAY!

EARN YOUR GET RICH DEGREE TODAY!

WINCHESTER, VA! THE QUEST FOR THE MAGICK CRYSTAL CONTINUES TONIGHT AT 10PM AT THE ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE CINEMA!

HAPPY APRIL 15!

Sorry for the late post folks, but you know how it is...tax day, always working up until the last minute.



(For all you non-Americans out there in Terribleland, April 15 is when income taxes are due in the US and every year everyone shits their pants over it)

LET'S GET GRIFTED

The whole tape is like this. Just a bunch of assholes lying about some product (?) called IDN. It's some sort of nutritional supplement company from the 90's, and I believe they have since been chased by the government for fraud or something. Love that cowboy, though.

THIS IS IN NO WAY A TEST OF YOUR PSYCHIC ABILITIES

If the exercises don't work, watch the video a couple dozen more times. You know what she is going to say before she says it! Congratulations, you are psychic!

GO INTO BUSINESS FOR YOURSELF...FOR KEVIN TRUDEAU

I'm sure many of you out in Terribleland are somewhat familiar with Kevin Trudeau, the prolific infomercial sleaze factory. But did you know that:
- In 1990, Trudeau posed as a doctor in order to deposit $80,000 in false checks, and in 1991 he pleaded guilty to larceny. Trudeau had used the credit cards of eleven customers of a mega memory product to fraudulently charge approximately $122,735.68.
- After serving time for criminal activity in the early 1990s, Trudeau partnered with his former cellmate, and they joined Nutrition for Life, a multi-level marketing firm.
- In October 2008, Trudeau was fined more than $5 million and banned from infomercials for three years for making fraudulent claims.
- Kevin Trudeau thinks you are stupid:



The saddest part is that I found this tape at a public library.