SELL YOUR SOUL, DWEEB!

REMOTE VIEWINGS!

Enter SPOOKY TOOTH!

IMPROVE YOUR FACE!

TALK TO DEER BETTER!

JUGGLING FOR FUN AND SELF-IMPROVEMENT!

Next week is Self-Improvemnt (Do A Better Job) Week! Get ready ya Juggalos!!!!

TREATMENT OF IMPOTENCE

Do you wish you could be a man, but you are lacking in virile fortitude? Is your yang withered? Are you sad and different and pathetic and wrong? LOOSE MEAT can definitely help with these 27 easy steps to penile constitution!

BIO-MAT 2000: A STATE OF THE ART

FACIAL TRANSCENDENCE

COMPUTER HAIR STYLE IMAGING

FALUN DAFA

Learn the basic principles of the Falun Dafa and accept the constant motion of the universe into your body.

COLOR AND YOU!

Yes, you.

HAIR PLUGS: THE ONLY REAL OPTION

Cleveland Hair Clinic (CHC) apparently sued Puig Medical Group, with whom it had a long-standing contract to perform hair transplants.

"CHC's latest, most cutting-edge hair transplant procedure is the 'Brandy Flap,' in which a patient's hair-bearing skin is stretched over portions of his bald area."   See Cleveland Hair Clinic, Inc. v. Puig, 968 F.Supp. 1227, 1233 (N.D.Ill.1996).

 

Gross.

NUMBERS MIX ME UP

Nothing fails like success.

UNDERSTANDING YOUR HORRIBLE LIFE

...via the message of a pharmaceutical company.

THE CHINESE GUIDE TO THE BEDROOM ARTS!

R.I.P. 2010: YONDER VITTLES!

EAT WELL!

"Griffith Laboratories food scientists’ industrial knowledge will support you in creating optimum products. They deliver succulence to the matrix and crispiness to the coating."

DANCE!


TRAVEL!

"What kind of a life does the person have, to edit (and horribly I might add) a fifteen year old video to make it look worse than it actually is? Give me a video of when you were a kid and I'll make you and your parents and your grandma look stupid too."

PROTECT YOURSELF!


Please leave your favorites from the past year in the comments and we'll tally up your votes this weekend.

GOOD FOR YOUR HEART, GOOD FOR YOUR PENIS

Today's hunk of junk is actually a bit serious, and is something Commodore Gilgamesh deals with every day of his life. From our EIT travels around the country, I am now positive that our audience consists of attractive, white males in their late 50's, with massive penis problems. It's honestly all they talk about! I also know that the teeny-tiny percent of women readers are here only to find new and erotic ways to entice their man after a hard days work. Well today's your lucky day!

Oh yeah, this is probably NSFYB (Not Safe For Yer Boner!)



And just in case any of you are having megabyte hard drive problems with your cyber-netting stuff, check out the video HERE.

A BEARD REQUIRES A LOT OF ATTENTION

FAT TONY MAKES FAT BEATS

LISTEN, THINK, RESPOND

Congratulations, you are capable of common courtesy.



Feel free to rate your own handshake in the comments. I think mine's around a 3 just because I start panting after two seconds of vigorous shaking.

COSMETIC SURGERY IS AWESOME!

IMPROVE YOUR MEMORY WITH MURDER!

You'll never forget what you've done...

¿ES USTED INCAPAZ?

For more pills that end in max, go to Max Laboratory.

LOVE CIRCUITS PRESENTS LINDA

My spirit is in millions of pieces.

IMMORTALITY THROUGH THE POWER OF POSITIVITY

GOING ON A MAN HUNT!

This video teaches the ancient, desperate art of hunting the elusive creature known as man.



For more info, please purchase twelve audio cassettes.

YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!

A floating two-headed actor demon head tells us how to better ourselves by bettering our bosses' business.

GET STATIONARY WITH CYCLE VISION!

THE COMMODORE SAYS GOODBYE

I just thought I'd let all you lil EIT-ers out there in Terrible Land know that I am going to be taking a month long vacation from our crappy little blog. I'm having brain surgery. Here's a few more bad 80's commercials for the road.