THE TIME HAS COME

This is it. The video I have kept hidden from the public for almost a year. I thought I would only play this live; to physically see the faces of the audience as they collectively barfed. But now is the time to show this to the people... Though I must warn you, you seriously cannot un-see this and once you push play, there's no going back...



UPDATE: Due to absolutely no demand, here's a translation courtesy of German speaking pal Thomas!

"Extra-Terrestian! You must go on planet "Earth." As you know,
otherwise our race will die out. We unlearned (or, like, lost the
ability) to have fun at sex. On Earth, we write the 19th century. There
I will bring you to a family."

(ET pops up in smoke)
Man: "A little blowing in the morning drives off all anger and
worries. My Beloved...

ET (scientific observing tone): "Female Earth Humans take genitals of
the man into the mouth. And how big the penis gets! It seems..."

ET: (Seriously, I'm not kidding.): "My hole starts to itch. Whether the
sex addiction is infectious on earth? I like/enjoy it, how the man puts
is dick into the snatch/cunt/twat (whatever word for vagina is the most
vulgar.) of the woman. That is a BIG cunt, with lobes (German word for a
wet cleaning rag applied to the labiae.)"

FORBIDDEN SOULMATES

As EIT After Dark draws to a close, here's one last thing you can't unsee. Pleasant wet nightmares!

EROTICISE!

All you need is a pair of leg warmers, a hot tub, and four buxom friends.

LIFE-SAVING ALERT: THIS VIDEO MIGHT NOT BE ACCEPTABLE FOR VIEWING AT YOUR PLACE OF BUSINESS BECAUSE IT MAY CONTAIN VAGINAS!

CIRCLE JERKIN'!

Boy, this "EIT After Dark" week sure has been a sausage fest, eh ladies? What this blog needs is a good old-fashioned womyn's circle jerk jamboree!

(Oh, and if the multiple "circle jerk" references didn't tip you off, this video is epically NSFMW. You have been officially warned.)



Phew, I feel much better. Talk about honoring the goddess within!

THE SEXIEST SEXUAL HARASSMENT PARTY IN TOWN!

If there's one thing I've learned from this lifestyle of 'Trash Compacting,' it's that the entertainment biz sure hates a lady. And can you blame them? Here we are, trying to get a job done and these bodacious bimbos come along and expect me to perform without distraction? Please. They come walking into work with their neon bikinis and their poofy hair; I have a family for god sakes! NSFW but trust me, it's worth getting fired over this. Instead of going through the same old bureaucratic bullshit, try being a total dick and you'll see your life changing for the better... Or should I say boner!

THE GLAMOUROUS LADIES OF WRESTLING SHUFFLE

Everything about this clip is so 'USA Up All Night.' The pastels, the 'babes,' the douche host, ugly humor, etc. I wonder if any of them are still trying to make a go of their careers and living a 'Ram Jam' lifestyle. Look at me blabbering on...
Take it away, gals!

WILDLY SPECULATIVE CELEBRITY SEX SECRETS!!!

Humans, by nature, have a basic need for the hottest factually questionable gossip about celebrity genitalia. Who better to tell it than porn stars, prostitutes, one night stands and ex-employees with absolutely nothing to gain from the exposure?