LEAVE LOWE ALONE!

2 MINUTE EROTIC MISADVENTURES OF THE INVISIBLE MAN

TODAY IS OUR 10TH BIRTHDAY!

10 years ago today, Ghoul Skool made history by posting 15-Minute IT, originally created by Matt Carter, but remade from memory by Ghoulie. That was one of the tapes that started us on our path to becoming Everything Is Terrible! We really can't believe that all of this has really happened, so thanks for making it so. We're not going to stop anytime soon either, so get ready for T H E G R E A T S A T A N movie and tour, a pyramid of Jerry Maguire VHS tapes in the desert, and so much more! And remember, we love you more than anyone else in your life. Love, DAD

And don't forget, our bday party is this sunday! Do not mis this show! TIX HERE!

SPOOKY TOOTH: Split Infinity?

More SPOOKYTOOTH? YES PLEASE!

HISTORY OF BLACK REPRESENTATION IN AMERICAN CINEMA!

AKA 2-MINUTE GUYVER!

CLASSIC E.I.T.: 2 MINUTE BEACH FEVER

New evidence in the O.J. Simpson murder case:

SLAUGHTERHOUSE!

We have a new contributor to the EIT! family! Please welcome USAfunnyman!!!!!

2-MINUTE DESERT THUNDER!

Happy America Is Better than All of the Not-Americas Week from Danny Baldwin!

MILEY CYRUS IS LOL

Teenagers are horrible people!

Courtesy of the Deeper Understanding Collection!

HAVIN' A LAUGH!

HAVIN' A LAUGH! from 23 Wolves on Vimeo.

Don't let the world get you down!

2-MINUTE EBOLA!

FFBR: PETER KAPOW! AGAIN!

Enjoy Peter Kapow's glorious entries into the FFBR. They're just fantastic. In fact, we may need to screen all of these movies, if they exist in any form.

2-MINUTE CROSSFIRE!

2 MINUTE MOVIE: THE PRETENDER

If you come to Jesus, you come all the way!

Courtesy of the Deeper Understanding Collection!

SMOKIN' STICKS!

SMOKIN' STICKS! from 23 Wolves on Vimeo.

A sensational story serializing the seamy side of cigar smuggling! Now it can be told...

2-MINUTE GRAVITY

2 MIN EXTERMINATOR 2

ALAN THICKE DOESN'T NEGOTIATE WITH TERROR!

RIP PAUL WALKER!

2MINUTE 2FAST 2FURIOUS! from Everything Is Terrible! on Vimeo.

3-MINUTE NINJA WARS

2 ATLAS 2 SHRUGGED: ATLAS BE SHRUGGIN'

Courtesy of the Deeper Understanding Collection!

THREE MINUTE JERRY

THREE MINUTE JERRY!!! from Everything Is Terrible! on Vimeo.

We have 5,000 Jerrys! Chicago friends come celebrate this joyous occasion with us this Saturday at Saki for some sweet experimental video, sweet comedy, and even sweeter sentimental tunes spun straight from the Jerry soundtrack. 7pm. Donations support the ongoing production of Channel 2020 and Sexcity.

3 MINUTE STEALTH

Jamie Foxx co-stars in his first role following the critically acclaimed "Ray".

EDDIE'S DOIN' GREAT!

This is from the movie Demolition High -- a film that certainly deserves a more comprehensive 3-minute movie treatment.  But as I was trying to make that cut, this scene in particular got stuck in my head, and I decided to make a alt-minute-movie instead, dedicated to Eddie, Corey Haim's tragic bully/buddy whose got all the right moves, but just isn't hero-material.

This goes out to all the action movie sidekicks, tag-alongs, and bench-warmers that never seem to catch a break.

2-MINUTE NASTY HERO!

3-MINUTE EXPECT NO MERCY!

Thanks to Rem Lezar for reminding me how much I love this movie! It is just too good to get it down to 2 minutes!

FAY HOLDS A GUN

TWO MINUTE WAR BUS COMMANDO!

R.I.P. 2012: FUTURE SCHLOCK

Happy almost 2013, everybody! We did it! I've got a date with Django Unchained this afternoon, so let's get to it. 2012 was a year when the art of the 2- (or 3- or 4-) minute movie reached new heights:







And you know I couldn't wrap up the year without the obligatory man-catching post:

SEXUAL HARASSMENT: THE MOVIE!

HEY PHOENIX! TIX ARE ON SALE NOW! 2 SHOWS! GO TO BOTH! EARLY SHOW & LATE! GO GO GO!

3-MINUTE UNINVITED!

You're going to need about three and a half hours of lil' bub to recover from this monstrosity:



We'll be in Boston @ The Coolidge Corner on 12/14 @ 11:59PM (BUY YOUR TICKETS NOW!)

2-MINUTE SLAUGHTERHOUSE ROCK

SYBIL DANNING'S 2 MINUTE VIDEO ADVENTURE: RUSH

With my .38 Specials and your extra long barrel, we'll teach those wimps the real meaning of the words, " Lets Party! "

FOUND FOOTAGE BATTLE ROYALE 2012 RECAP PART 3

There can't be a champion without a challenger and this year, the honor of falling just short of the Ultimate Prize and being haunted by the failure for years to come belongs to the Sadist. Let's give him a hand.

FOUND FOOTAGE BATTLE ROYALE 2012 RECAP PART 2

Without further ado, here are final championship-clinching videos from Deeper Understanding!



Their final video can be found here. If the thumbnail of a butthole didn't tip you off, it's very NSFMW.

ROTHROCK GOLDEN OLDIES!

I (Ghoul Skool) am neck deep in Cynthia Rothrock movies, and I'm simply overwhelmed in her awesomeness.  Here are a couple blasts from the past from the ultimate ass-kicker herself!

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR

This one goes out to all of our friends/fans who came out (and those who were turned away at the door) to the Totally Recalled show on Monday in Chicago - yall are the bestest! Read more about the show in Chicago Magazine.

THAT'S BLAXPLOITATION!

Once you go Blaxploitation, you'll never go backsploitation.

3 MINUTE ARMED RESPONSE

Courtesy of the Aaron Valdez Collection. You can see more at Wreck & Salvage and Hard Stars!

1 MINUTE BABEL

Starring Brad Pitt.

ONE-MINUTE MOVIE: "ONE TOUGH COP"

This is Stephen Baldwin's answer to everything...

AMERICAN COMMANDO NINJA - JULY 21!

Some movies are simply too radical. Some movies deserve more than a 2.5 minute treatment. Saturday, July 21st, EiT! & Cinefamily bring back VIDEO NIGHTS! Jammed with 'American Commando Ninja,' unseen VHS rarities, booze,and now we welcome you to bring your VHS nuggets and we'll jam after the movie!  We are bringing your mom's basement to The Cinefamily, just like you always wanted!  Get your tix now and join the revolution!

And very soon I will be dropping some news about Everything Is Festival.  It's gonna be big...

OILY MANIAC!

This movie is a Shaw Brothers production and is really awesome! This is certainly not always the case around here but you should watch this extremely entertaining movie in its entirety if you can find a copy!

2 Minute Oily Maniac from Rem Lezar on Vimeo.

2 MINUTE DARK DEALER!

ORGASM HARRY

After Harry Smith is mysteriously abducted by UFO's he becomes empowered to give babes orgasms just by looking at them. (kind of NSFW)

2 MINUTE FIRE & ICE

A daredevil ski fantasy narrated by John Denver.



Doggie Woggiez Poochie Woochiez is in Asheville tonight, C'mon down to Broadways, 10pm!! Buy tickets!!

2 MINUTE FREEWAY MANIAC

Meet Arthur... by far the craziest, most dangerous dude we've ever seen.



Thanks to Bleeding Skull for the tape!

2 MINUTE ANOTHER CHANCE

4-MINUTE DAYDREAMER!

Three things:
1) BASED ON A TRUE STORY, YOU GUYS!
2) This movie does not appear on Joe Estevez's IMDB page, but the special features include a lengthy interview with him in the car on the way back to the airport.
3) I didn't even get into the subplot about Cleetus' identical twin brother. They were separated at birth after their daddy was crushed by a vending machine.



St. Louis! Follow your dreams to DoggieWoggiezPoochieWoochiez TONIGHT at Floating Laboratories Gallery!

3-MINUTE ALIENATOR!

It's like Star Wars meets Predator but with more sound effects. Alienator is what happens when Jan-Michael Vincent, Fred Olen Ray & the beautiful Teagan get together for a weekend of (presumably) PCP-fueled film-making.

3 MINUTE DEADLY PURSUIT!

Every so often there comes a movie so terrible, it is difficult to encapsulate into a three minute format, Deadly Pursuit delivers.

R.I.P. 2011: AIRWAVE RANGER

For myself, and in many respects for all of you, 2011 was the year of the ventriloquist. I think we can all agree on that.  Case and point, there was this creeptacular...

and who could forget the inspiring Little Ricky...

Now if we're talking about my picks for Best Small Picture I think the board of trustees would be foolish not to include Pulsebeat in the runnings.

Most likely the frat brotherhood will give the gold to the obvious choice, Black Spring Break 2.

Happy New Year!

R.I.P. 2011: WRONG MAN (FORMERLY KNOWN AS THE INTERN-THING)

In some ways, this is the year I became a man.

I learned how to smack myself to lose weight:


I learned that only pastors should touch you before marriage:


I learned that certain types of flies can turn you into a zombie:


I learned how dangerous biker mice can be:


I learned that John Ritter fucking hated us all:


And most importantly, I learned absolutely nothing:


Happy End of Days, everyone!

R.I.P. 2011: DEFENESTRATOR III

Once again, it's time to reflect on the year that was (and take some time off) so here's my favorites from 2011!











Please tell us your favorite videos from the past year in the comments and we'll tally up your picks at the end of the year.

3 MINUTE MESSAGE IN A CELLPHONE

Can three boys crack the code and outsmart the crooks?

THE BUG CHILL

I've always said "The Big Chill" would have been better with zombies controlled by killer flies... and now I have proof.



In memory of Halloween 2011.

PARENTAL GUIDANCE

Dublin put your hands together and make some noise! Darklight Festival is going on right now!!! Best of EIT Show is tonight at 10pm!!!! Get tickets HERE NOW!

CLASS OF 1984, COMMANDO...PTERODACTYL

Just listing off movies that Mark Lester has directed. Some are as good as movies can get, others are Pterodactyl.



Please don't let this stop you from watching Mark Lester's other feature that co-stars Coolio (and a Baldwin).

A BRIEF HISTORY OF THE FUTURE PART II

Briefly NSFMW.


Thanks to Dragon Sound, Airwave Ranger, Odd Obsession Movies and the person whose name I misplaced that sent in Absolute Aggression. Reveal yourself and claim your place in history!

Previously in the future...

NETPOCALYPSE!

The year is 2005. Hardened criminals like Judge Reinhold are trying to destroy the internet and only Scott Bakula can stop them.

CELLBLOCK Q & THE DUMMY HOMOPHOBE

TWOFER! I've had both tapes in my collection for years now- and just realized the only way to make sense of one is by showing you the other all in the same post. Both are equally shocking for completely different reasons.


I can only imagine what the YouTube comments on this baby are gonna be tomorrow morning...


And I keep being told Don Rickles isn't a hatemonger and hates everyone equally, but... For real, dude? You may be a legend but you're also a dickbag.

2 MINUTE BEACH FEVER

A young Japanese man is set on a quest by his rich father to find the world's best opening line in order to "get the girl." But when he teams up with Kato Kaelin and they stumble upon a magic love potion, insanity ensues.

JOKE OFF, MISTER FALCON

I can't believe they got Bruce Willis to rerecord his dialogue.


Previously, you melonfarming motorscooter.

MAGIC DOG OR GHOST DOG?

You decide!

LONELY OLD MAN

From the independently made half-feature length kids' fantasy movie, Boyd's Shadow.

3 MINUTE LEGEND OF THE DESERT BIGFOOT

A Christian bigfoot movie.


Or is it?!?

ONE MORE DAY UNTIL THE FESTIVAL!

Here's a trailer for NINJA ANNIHILATION WAR, screening ONLY at this year's Everything Is Festival!



Cannot stress this enough!

SUMMER RERUN WEEK GILGAMESH STYLE!

2 MINUTE ENTER THE NINJA

GETTING PAID (NSFW)

Starring, directed, written, produced, scored, and cast by rapper Smokey Smoke.

A CHIMP SAVES A PUPPY; A CHILD DEITY TOYS WITH OTHERS' LIVES

***Watch version using "Fondren & Main" by Z-Ro ft. DJ Screw (RIP) here


This kid is the worst.


And! I just re-edited this movie for a song by Boozwa.
Starring a one-armed kung fu master (who also wrote and directed the movie) and an old blind man who wields my favorite martial arts weapon of all time, the flying guillotine.

If you happen to live in Austin, TX, Boozwa will be perfoming sample-heavy music next on Wednesday, May 18 at Plush ATX with DIBIASE and some other DJ/dub/electronic folks.

ENTER THE GUEST BLOGGER: CHRIS WARD

Today's guest blogger is Chris Ward, formerly at Worst Cartoons Ever and currently at World of Ward Crap. You might remember him from these two little gems.

Now he's back with tales of corporate compliance...


...and a blatant rip-off of Leprechaun in the Hood.

THE RETURN OF REM LEZAR!

No, not that Rem Lezar. Our Rem Lezar! Those in the Bay area may know him from Clean Living for Teens and Black Sundays, or if you've poked around our archives, you might have seen this or this. He's been gone for a long while, and we're excited to have him back!

Today Rem shows us what it takes to be a champion... ...and uncovers the important message of Doubt.

BAD VIBRATIONS

What if a musician with no hands teamed up with a rave promoter? Perhaps he would become a Robo-DJ.



This movie is Vibrations. It should be coveted.

2-MINUTE (OR SO) HOLLYWOOD COP!

If I were an analog film editor, then by the time I finished this 2(ish) minute cut I would have been neck deep in forgotten reels and my own tears. There's so many subplots going on in this nug that I might have to make the first 2-Minute sequel shortly. It's the next course I recommend in the 'When Shirtless Dudes With Machine Guns Ruled the Earth.' film studies program. I also want to say that this tape is one of our first coveted relics that we bought as pals in college, and was the tape that turned a boy named Joel into a man named Airwave Ranger. This one's for you, pal!



Also, people kept telling me to watch this with that '1911' button (click and watch it on YouTube), and I gotta say- it's a pleasant surprise!

2-MINUTE PULSEBEAT!

One aerobics montage followed by another followed by an aerobics themed sex scene followed by another. This movie sent me straight to bonertown.

2-MINUTE BLAST! (WITH EXPLOSIONS!)

If you ever wondered why Eddie Griffin doesn't star in more action movies, here you go:



(And who would have thought that Vivica A. Fox would have already been in TWO two-minute movies this week? Two too few, if you ask this lowly intern-thing...)

2-MINUTE SENIORITA JUSTICE!!!

You like reinforcing negative ethnic stereotypes don't cha? How 'bout constant yet poorly-choreographed violence devoid of context swimming in a sea of machismo sexist posturing? This movie has everything!

2-MINUTE BOAT TRIP!

Let's kick off 2-Minute Movie Week with this homophobic, seafaring turdfest! It's like Snowdogs, but instead of pooches terrorizing our favorite funnyman/adult baby Cuba Gooding Jr., this time it is a boat full of homosexuals! Uh Oh! Things are gonna get "weird!"

ONE BAD MELON FARMING MOTORSCOOTER

Normally I'm against censorship, but sometimes you can't argue with the results.

....NOW

This trailer does a great job of basically being a 2 Minute Movie- made by friend of EIT! Alex Nicolau! You should also really come and see this entire thing with us at the Cinefamily on Saturday and grab a pint with Ghoulie, Airwave Ranger, and Gilgamesh. It's a mini-reunion in Werirdowood this weekend!

THE BALLAD OF SHOTGUN JONES

Big thanks to 23 Wolves for sending us this magic crystal. I highly recommend the feature-length version, which is kinda like "Miami Vendetta" sharing a one room apartment with "Bad Boys II". If you can imagine.

NEMESIS 4!

and

2.5 MINUTE REVENGE OF THE RED BARON

Mickey Rooney is kinda like the Dolph Lundgren of the 1940's.



AND!

The wonderful folks at Wham City are doing a comedy tour and it is coming to Chicago this Sunday, November 14th at 9 PM! And motherfucking EIT! is opening for them! Seriously, this is going to be a night that you will feel with all of your being. Either come to The Hideout (354 W Wabansia St) or miss out on the comedic weirdness of David Bowie, Showbeast, Dan Deacon, Egg Schrader (an actual egg), April Camlin, Tim Allen, the Creepers, and so much more. Buy lots of tickets now! Don't forget to bring those fourth and fifth eyes of yers. Yul need 'em. And if you don't live in Chicago, go to one of these other places and see this show (sadly, EIT! will only be at the Chicago show). Booya!

IF YOU LOVE YOUR YETI...

Set him free.

2.5 MINUTE THE GATE 2!

ZOMBIE WORKOUT (PLUS 2-MINUTE DEATH SPA!)

I need to lose some weight if I'm going to fit into my Dolph costume this year.

Here's some zombies working out:



Special thanks to Bob Konow of Chicago for that one.

And now for some 2-Minute Death Spa...



Happy Halloween everybody!

3-MINUTE EXTREME HEIST!

MAN THIS IS GROSS

Wanna see more of this? Me neither. No, seriously, this movie is incredible and you have to come see this as The Cinefamily, EIT! and Rotten Cotton present 'CHESTER TURNER TRIBUTE NIGHT! WITH MORE FOUND CRAP FROM ROB SCHRAB & DAN HARMON! Get your tickets here!

More info on the great Chester Turner at the wonderful Bleeding Skull.

BLACK DEVIL DOLL FROM HELL!	UCBcomedy.com

And here's the poster for the show!

3 MINUTE HOW I SAVED THE PRESIDENT

Finally, a dog that tells people NOT to assassinate politicians.

3 MINUTE KILLER WORKOUT!

Featuring Ted Prior of Deadly Prey fame!



You can thank/blame Trygg for sending us this monstrosity.

2:20 MINUTE 2020 TEXAS GLADIATORS

This one goes out to our friends at the Alamo Drafthouse.

IN CASE YOU MISSED MIAMI CONNECTION...

I made this as a trailer, but it's really a 2 minute movie in itself. From the weirdos who brought you MIAMI CONNECTION we got LA STREETFIGHTERS aka NINJA TURF! Don't miss it!

2.5-MINUTE COMPUTER WIZARD

Oh for the days when a kid could be a terrorist and hackers didn't need computers at all...



THE QUEST FOR THE MAGICK CRYSTAL CONTINUES TONIGHT IN ATLANTA, GEORGIA AT THE PLAZA THEATRE!

THE PHONE DID IT...

But which one? So many suspicious looking phones! Seriously, is there a less menacing object than a phone? Look for the sequel, Murder By Three Hole Punch, coming soon!

CHAPEL HILL! THE QUEST FOR THE MAGICK CRYSTAL CONTINUES TONIGHT AT THE VARSITY THEATRE! 9:30PM!

3-MINUTE BLACK NINJA

WASHINGTON, DC! THE QUEST FOR THE MAGICK CRYSTAL CONTINUES TONIGHT AT 8PM AT THE SOLLY'S U STREET TAVERN!

PARTY NERDS!

NSFW, if your boss is a crusty old dean out to ruin the big 5-year reunion.

NOT ENUFF 2'S!!!

3-MINUTE BOY WONDERZ!

Today's TUFF ENUFF FOR EIT video is from Operator Overload of Decatur, GA! OMG!!!!!

4-MINUTE THE ALIEN AGENDA: ENDANGERED SPECIES!