BEST OF 2014: FUTURE SCHLOCK!

I'd like to thank ladies with big hair and dead eyes for making my posts this year—and every year—possible.

MUSIC BOX OF HORRORS! THIS SATURDAY!

Hey Chicago! How ya been? Are you going to The Music Box this weekend? You should, because we're curating the shorts programming for the 10th annual MUSIC BOX OF HORRORS! We'll be keeping the weird going for a full 24 hours with original shorts from Chicago filmmakers and EiT pals like Loose Meat and BLACKMAGICROLLERCOASTER, and creepy EiT shorts old and new! If you need tickets, The A.V. Club can hook you up. See you this Saturday, weirdos!

2-MINUTE CROSSFIRE!

GET RICH QUICK WITH DRUG WAR SPOILS!

Join us for more get-rich-quick quackery next week as Future Schlock and Defenestrator III present HOW TO MAKE MORE MONEY! Hosted by our genius co-producer Ian Abramson and featuring Chicago's finest financial gurus/broke comedians! Take charge of your financial future and join us next Thursday, June 12 at The Hungry Brain (2319 W. Belmont)! 9pm! FREE!

STRANGER DANGER VS. CREEPY COPS!

Hey Chicago! There's plenty more bully busters and self-defense creeps where that came from at EiT Presents: Selfless Defense for the Self Defenseless, TOMORROW NIGHT at Hungry Brain! Featuring performances by Katie McVay, John Eisenrich, J. Michael Osborne and a headlining set from Jeff Steinbrunner! Hosted by Ian Abramson! 9pm! FREE!

ONCE IN A LIFETIME RETURNS!

Hey Chicago! Spring is finally here, and with the warm weather comes the return of ONCE IN A LIFETIME! The series kicks off TONIGHT at 8pm with Natalie Jose, Katie McVay and Candy Lawrence goofin' on the 1998 Kirsten Dunst vehicle FIFTEEN AND PREGNANT and continues all summer at Comfort Station in Logan Square! The venue is gorgeous, these gals are hilarious, and all the shows are FREE!! Check 'em out:

4/11 (TONIGHT!)- Fifteen and Pregnant
5/9- To Be Fat Like Me
6/6- My Stepson, My Lover (aka Lies, Murder and Deceit)
7/18*- Liz & Dick
8/15- Friends 'Til the End

Special thanks to Davey K. for making our poster art! Davey is one of the genuises behind FOOD PARTY and CHANNEL 2020. Also, he has a really good Tumblr.

*Date subject to change

MICHAEL LIVES!

JESUS THINKS YOU'RE FAT

RISE AND FALL OF GOD IN NYC!

Hello, friends. Do you feel tired? Alone? Plagued by nightmares of monsters who surround your bed and make fun of your haircut as you sleep?

Then come, ye sinners, and be saved by THE RISE AND FALL OF GOD in NYC!
 

Yea, for it has been written that NYC's raddest storefront theater, Spectacle (124 S. Third Street in Williamsburg), would play host to EiT as we present our unreleased DVD THE RISE AND FALL OF GOD on the high holy day of SATURDAY, MARCH 8 at 10 pm. With a super secret midnight mass presented by Rem Lazar! Only $5! Check out the details on Spectacle's website! Hallelujah!

ULTIMATE XXX-TREME VALENTINES!

NSFMW, perverts.



 There's plenty more butt-touching where that came from at EiT Presents: Self-Pleasure for Two TOMORROW NIGHT at Chicago's Hungry Brain (2319 W. Belmont Ave.)! Our sexy panel of sexperts includes Tommy MacNamara, Goodrich Gevaart, The Puterbaugh Sisters and the proud owner of Chicago's most famous dick, Mike Lebovitz! Hosted by Katie McVay and Nicholas Rouley! Thursday, February 13th! 9pm! Bring yer boner, because this show is FREE!

3-MINUTE RAW FORCE!

COLOR AND YOU!

Yes, you.

RIP 2013: FUTURE SCHLOCK

Happy 2014, everybody!!! Jake Jabs forever!!!!

ONCE IN A LIFETIME: CO-ED CALL GIRL!

The boys are in sunny Florida this week (See them tonight at Will's Pub in Orlando!!!), but here in frigid Chicago we're getting ready for the newest installment of ONCE IN A LIFETIME at Lincoln Hall! 

Join us NEXT WEDNESDAY, December 18th as we celebrate high-class hookin' and heavy lip liner with the infamous CO-ED CALL GIRL! Featuring Katie McVay, Andy Fleming and Kristin Clifford makin' funnies into microphones! Show starts at 8pm!  GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!

ONCE IN A LIFETIME: SHE'S TOO YOUNG!

Chicago! ONCE IN A LIFETIME is back on Tuesday, November 26 at Lincoln Hall! Featuring commentary by returning favorite Natalie Jose, new blood Marlena Rodriguez, and more special guests TBA! 8pm! $5! Get your tickets now!

BAD RAP SAVES!

So you like bad rap huh? We got your bad rap right here!

MAKE MONEY, AVOID JAIL MAYBE!

What could possibly go wrong? You too can take charge of your financial future TOMORROW NIGHT at The Hungry Brain as Chicago's own Dan Friesen, Nick Rouley and John Eisenrich teach you HOW TO MAKE MONEY! Featuring a special slideshow presentation by Just for Graphs (aka Kyle Scanlan and Ross Kelly)! Video by EiT's Future Schlock & Defenestrator III! 9pm! FREE!

ONCE IN A LIFETIME: Death of a Cheerleader!

Chicago! ONCE IN A LIFETIME returns to Lincoln Hall this coming Monday, September 16 with Megan Gailey, Liza Treyger, Katie McVay and Stephanie Hasz goofin' on 1994's DEATH OF A CHEERLEADER at 8pm! This lineup is the stuff of legend, so get your tickets NOW!

LADY SEINFELD'S INFERNO!

"You all know the French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre? Clap if you've heard of Sartre. Well, he says that Hell is other people. He must know my ex-boyfriend, right ladies!?"





(with apologies to Ghoul Skool)

CHICAGO! Can't get enough of those lady comedians telling lady jokes about lady things? Then join us TOMORROW NIGHT at the Hungry Brain as I kick off my new monthly residency with Kristin Clifford, Lisa Laureta, The Puterbaugh Sisters and Stephanie Hasz explaining HOW TO BE A WOMAN! 9pm! Free! Tweet about it!

3-MINUTE UNTOUCHABLE!

Chicago! While Everything is Festival rocks LA, ONCE IN A LIFETIME is back and better than ever at Lincoln Hall as Natalie Jose, Chad Briggs and The Puterbaugh Sisters goof on the infamous DREW PETERSON: UNTOUCHABLE!

Next Wednesday, August 14! 8pm! Lincoln Hall! $5! $3 white wine spritzers! Tickets on sale now! If you don't want to see this, you must be on your period!