2 MINUTE BODY AND SOUL

2 MINUTE BODY AND SOUL /// EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE! from Everything Is Terrible! on Vimeo.

FAST GUN!

THE BEST OF GHOUL SKOOL!

BEST OF GHOUL SKOOL! /// EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE! from Everything Is Terrible! on Vimeo.

THE GREATEST ACTION MOVIE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN

DOLPH VS DOLPHIN!

Tickets are on sale now for our 6/3 show in Denver! GET EM HERE!

3 MINUTE RUNAWAY CAR

FOUND FOOTAGE BATTLE ROYALE: PETER KAPOW

Seriously, this was the best Battle Royale of all time, and we had folks from literally around the world enter this year, and the results were beyond words. Let's start with Toronto's own Peter Kapow!

WOMEN IN REFRIGERATORS

Are you a woman between the ages of 18 and 29 and a character in an action movie, especially a comic book adaption? Then you might find yourself in the refrigerator! Loose Meat is proud to present our tribute to women in film who serve as set pieces for men to emote around!

2-MINUTE CROSSFIRE!

A FUGITIVE FROM GOD

STUNT WARS

TOTAL BIBLEMANSANITY

HEAVEN'S HEROES

Part 3 in a series by Dante Fontana. This follows THE LORD, PUPPETS & ME and FACE IN THE MIRROR!

2 MIN EXTERMINATOR 2

3-MINUTE RAW FORCE!

TV TIME MACHINE: 2003

Take as step back in time with us today. The date: January 11, 2003. The place: Chicago, Illinois. The medium: TV.

RIP 2013: FUTURE SCHLOCK

Happy 2014, everybody!!! Jake Jabs forever!!!!

2013 HOLIDAY TOUR XCLUSIVE PART ONE!!!

Merry XMas from Rem Lezar!

BEHOLD THE GREAT MICTLAN!

DEADLIEST PREY!

We may be on tour and playing in San Francisco tonight, but did you know with the love you guys gave David Prior's bloody classic Deadly Prey they made a sequel set for release this year?!  And it has Ghoul Skool, Li'l Cruton, and the wonderful Zack Carlson playing hackers?  SPOILER: We get shot!

We will be helping with bringing this movie to your town, so hit us up if you have a venue in mind!

3 MINUTE GLITCH!

3 MINUTE STEALTH

Jamie Foxx co-stars in his first role following the critically acclaimed "Ray".

EDDIE'S DOIN' GREAT!

This is from the movie Demolition High -- a film that certainly deserves a more comprehensive 3-minute movie treatment.  But as I was trying to make that cut, this scene in particular got stuck in my head, and I decided to make a alt-minute-movie instead, dedicated to Eddie, Corey Haim's tragic bully/buddy whose got all the right moves, but just isn't hero-material.

This goes out to all the action movie sidekicks, tag-alongs, and bench-warmers that never seem to catch a break.

2-MINUTE NASTY HERO!

3 MINUTE THE GLOVE

3 MINUTE THE DION BROTHERS

THE WORLD'S SECOND MOST ACTION PACKED ACTION MOVIE!

"Mankillers, also known as 12 Wild Women, was filmed in 1986 in and around Riverside, California, United States and was written and directed by David A. Prior. The film was shot back to back with Deadly Prey as part of the newly formed Action International Pictures."



What's that? You want to see this action masterpiece on the big screen? Then you're in luck, because it's playing TONIGHT as part of our Wednesday Rewind series in Chicago!

'GETEVEN' w/ DIRECTOR & STAR IN PERSON!

If the Gods Of Holyfuckingshit! were to descend from the heavens and give us their golden nectar, Geteven would be served in a golden funnel — and you would chug the shit out of it. In 1993, trial lawyer John De Hart traded his suit and tie for a pair of sweatpants and a machine gun, as he wrote, directed, produced, and starred in this unbelievable piece of work. De Hart plays Rick, a cool cop who likes his shirts tucked in and his women turned loose. After Rick and his partner (Wings Hauser!) are betrayed by the maniacal Normad (William Smith!), we go on a rollercoaster ride of unfiltered insanity: drug deals, gunfights, Shakespeare quoting, Huckleberry Finn-inspired cults, Satanism, soapy baths, baby sacrificing and more! We could go on and on about everything we just wrote, but that would spoil the surprise — the surprise being this entire fucking movie. Fans of Wings Hauser will be blown away by his ability to appear to be on both coke and ‘ludes at the same time. And we GUARANTEE you will want “The Shimmy Slide” to be the song played at your funeral. Geteven is a gift straight from the heavens. Bow before it.
Check out the trailer for 'GETEVEN!'  And get your tickets HERE!
VIDEO NIGHTS: Get Even (trailer) from Cinefamily on Vimeo.

TWO MINUTE WAR BUS COMMANDO!

3 MINUTE THINK BIG

P.S. I can't stop watching this remixed found party footage which gets crazier as it goes along, head over to Miami1996.com and brace yourself. (WARNING: Seriously, it's really fucked up. You've been warned!)

BULLIES VS MAGICK!

Thanks to Dragon Sound for getting me out of the Fruit Boots and into some Heelys!

3 MINUTE TERMINAL EXPOSURE

"MIAMI CONNECTION" 25TH ANNIVERSARY SCREENING IN CHICAGO!

Chicagoans! We have joined forces with Drafthouse Films to present two midnight screenings of lost '80s thunder-rager Miami Connection at the Music Box Theater in Chicago on Sept 28th and 29th. This past August, we hosted a raucous screening of this ultimate achievement in Taekwondo anti-sanity at our third annual Everything is Festival, which reduced the walls of LA's The Cinefamily to rubble! Join in for what will very likely be one of the greatest/unforgettable nights of your life and witness what even Entertainment Weekly calls their "new cult movie obsession." Facebook event page for these screenings can be found here.

TRAXX! TOMORROW WITH SHADOE STEVENS IN PERSON!

His voice oozes sex — his hair is like a golden waterfall. When there’s no one left to clean up the scum — you gotta call Traxx! Broadcasting legend Shadoe Stevens’ (Hollywood Squares, “America’s Top 40″, SoCal’s mythical “Federated Group” commercials) foray into feature film action stardom is equal parts cop movie, spoof, buddy comedy and completely inexplicable Video Nights fodder. After battling his way through El Salvador, the Middle East and Nicaragua, ex-mercenary Traxx retires to a life of baking gourmet cookies — but, strapped for cash, heads to a crime-infested Texas burb to punch pimps, blow up brothels, and mash maniac mobsters for pay. Sure, he may go a tad overboard (slaughtering the entire red light district, hanging corpses upside-down from street lamps, etc.) but the slapstickiness of it all makesTraxx as light as whipped shortbread. Shadoe shows he’s much more than a face for radio — and an onslaught of zingers, Raimi-esque gonzo physical comedy and seriously buzzonkers action makes Traxx truly unique viewing. We do know that if you were to take a drink of water every time Traxx shoots a bad guy, you would drown halfway through the film. Schedule permitting, Shadoe Stevens will be here to introduce the film!

Get tickets HERE!

CYNTHIA ROTHROCK IS AWESOME!

CYNTHIA ROTHROCK'S RESUME...

...and also a promo for "An Evening With Cynthia Rothrock"!

ROTHROCK GOLDEN OLDIES!

I (Ghoul Skool) am neck deep in Cynthia Rothrock movies, and I'm simply overwhelmed in her awesomeness.  Here are a couple blasts from the past from the ultimate ass-kicker herself!

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR

This one goes out to all of our friends/fans who came out (and those who were turned away at the door) to the Totally Recalled show on Monday in Chicago - yall are the bestest! Read more about the show in Chicago Magazine.

JESUS SAID KNOCK YOU OUT!

 In anticipation of this year's Everything Is Festival, particularly “The Rise and Fall of God” or “Religion’s Greatest Shits!” or “God Is Alive And Well And Living in Branson”, I offer you a clip from the movie, Lay It Down.

ONE-MINUTE MOVIE: "ONE TOUGH COP"

This is Stephen Baldwin's answer to everything...

2 MINUTE VIRTUAL ASSASSIN

DUDIKOFF!

WHAT'S THE CODE WORD, BUTTHORN?

Attention Chicago: If you plan to attend the Midnight Screening of Gary Busey's "Bulletproof" at the Music Box Theatre on March 30th, you will NOT be admitted unless you know the code word...



And for those of you still on the fence, check out the poster we made:



And for those of you in Winchester, Virginia... you're going to the Alamo Drafthouse to see Doggie Woggiez! Poochie Woochiez! tonight, right? RIGHT??

MIDNIGHT SHOWING OF BULLETPROOF, BUTT-HORNS!

With most of the Doggiez on tour, we have taken over a midnight screening at the Music Box Theatre on March 30th, in an effort to show our Chicago dawgs some extra love.



Check out the Facebook event for more information.

And all you dawgs in Dallas, Texas better show up to the Texas Theatre tonight! BUY YOUR TICKETS NOW!

2 MINUTE FREEWAY MANIAC

Meet Arthur... by far the craziest, most dangerous dude we've ever seen.



Thanks to Bleeding Skull for the tape!

3-MINUTE ALIENATOR!

It's like Star Wars meets Predator but with more sound effects. Alienator is what happens when Jan-Michael Vincent, Fred Olen Ray & the beautiful Teagan get together for a weekend of (presumably) PCP-fueled film-making.

3 MINUTE DEADLY PURSUIT!

Every so often there comes a movie so terrible, it is difficult to encapsulate into a three minute format, Deadly Pursuit delivers.

3 MINUTE SUPERTRAIN

You've gone for a ride in the SUPERVAN, now all aboard the SUPERTRAIN!

3 MINUTE HONOR & GLORY

MEET JOE AVERAGE - COP!

A GLIMPSE INTO THE FUTURE

We at EverythingIsTerrible! invite you now to sit back, fix your gaze into the portal of excess and truth, and embark with us, your guides, Yonder Vittles and Defenestrator III: On Broken Glass, as we exit the Old World for a brief 3 minutes and 41 seconds and journey into the distant and harmonious lands of the future.



Please cover your eyes as you cross the post-apocalyptic boobs if you are taking your journey at work.

RESIST POLICE STATE MIND CONTROL!!!

Special thanks to Lil' Gordon Shumway from Chicago, Illinois for the tape!

5 MINUTE LASER MISSION

Starring Ernest Borgnine as the Laser Master!


From the Aaron Valdez Collection at Wreck & Salvage and Hard Stars. You can read more about laser missions here!

2-MINUTE SENIORITA JUSTICE!!!

You like reinforcing negative ethnic stereotypes don't cha? How 'bout constant yet poorly-choreographed violence devoid of context swimming in a sea of machismo sexist posturing? This movie has everything!

DIAMONDS ARE A CALL-GIRL'S BEST FRIEND

Thanks to Dragon Sound for passing along this deadly magick crystal!

TOPLESS AND EMPOWERED

The glass ceiling has just been -- shattered! (NSFW)



From the movie "Angel Fist"

R.I.P. 2010: GHOUL SKOOL

2010 was nothing short of spooktacular, mainly thanks to you guys and your support for us at EIT. Gosh, remember the tour? The DVD? That book? That time a dude wore our shirt in that porn?

And if you thought this year was all we had in us, 2011 is going to blow your doggie mind. But for now, here are some of my favs from the last 12 months. Thanks, y'all!













Please leave your favorites from the past year in the comments and we'll tally up your votes this weekend.

3-MINUTE EXTREME HEIST!

2:20 MINUTE 2020 TEXAS GLADIATORS

This one goes out to our friends at the Alamo Drafthouse.

IN CASE YOU MISSED MIAMI CONNECTION...

I made this as a trailer, but it's really a 2 minute movie in itself. From the weirdos who brought you MIAMI CONNECTION we got LA STREETFIGHTERS aka NINJA TURF! Don't miss it!

THIS MOVIE WILL KICK YOUR TEETH IN

People, PEOPLE! Listen up.

Zack Carlson and the famous ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE are giving us a fucking gift this Saturday specifically for the one and only EVERYTHING IS FESTIVAL!!! You simply cannot watch this trailer and not compulsively buy a ticket to Los Angeles. There's just no other option. Seriously, 99 times out of a hundred we make those 2 Minute Movies because watching them in their entirety is like having your eyes gouged out by a trance DJ, mid set. Not this one, though. From the first frame to the glorious last this thing sums up everything that is Everything Is Terrible! It's simply a one-of-a-kind gem-bone.

WITH A NAME LIKE KICK OR DIE....

Today's TUFF ENUFF FOR EIT video comes from Patrick Cooper of Salem, MA, aka the Sh1tbird!

AND...BOOM!

CAN'T STOP PUNCHING!

I HIGHLY recommend seeing this whole film: 'Deadly Prey.' It's quite well known in the VHS fetish community, and for damn good reason! It's like Battle Royale meets Rambo meets Delta Force but somehow with more punching. It's the most fun I've had with my VCR since Andy and the Airwave Rangers... maybe.

MAXIMUM DOLPH!

Don't you want to be like Dolph? Of course you don't.



Special thanks to Odd Obsession, Commodore Gilgamesh, and Defenestrator III: On Broken Glass.

CROSSING THE BORDER -- 80'S STYLE

XTREME TIMES CALL FOR XTREME PHILOSOPHIES

"Stephen Baldwin stars as U.S. Customs agent Cooper in this thrill-a-minute ride in the tradition of Point Break, Terminal Velocity, and Drop Zone."

I was going to make this a 3-minute version of "Cutaway", but after I "cutaway" all the skydiving montages, there was only 2 and a half minutes left...

MEET DETECTIVE MALONE... HE'S GETTING TOO OLD FOR THIS

In 1980 Castro emptied his jails... they came to America with a vengeance.

BRIAN DENNEHY HATES MIRRORBALLS

FUCK THE BONUS!

This is the only way to dispose of terrorist scum like Gene Simmons.

MANDROIDS, CAVEMEN, KUNG FU AND INDIANA JONES...

...Eliminators has it all.



Thanks to Ghoul Skool for the tip.

UPDATE: Because no mere snippet of Eliminators can do it proper justice, some beautiful soul has uploaded the entire movie.

THE BOZ IS STONE COLD

2 MINUTE RAVEN

THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES

These three movies prove that you only need to watch the first five minutes to know how good a film is.


Wouldn't the world be better off if everyone had shaved heads, just imagine a baldie utopia.


This little gem is brought to you by the same genius behind Miami Vice.

The opening may seem innocent enough, but trust me everything goes down hill for the graduates of Malibu High.

3 MINUTE FUTURESPORT

Playtime is over. He's in the game on behalf of the world. Special. Highly original. Turbo-charged thrill ride. 3 minutes long.

Rastafari!

THUNDER IN PARADISE

EXCESSIVE FORCE EXCESSIVE FORCE EXCESSIVE FORCE EXCESSIVE FORCE EXCESSIVE FORCE EXCESSIVE FORCE EXCESSIVE FORCE EXCESSIVE FORCE EXCESSIVE FORCE...

That's the name of the movie.

SOME ANIMALS WERE PROBABLY HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS MOTION PICTURE

If you can ignore the fact that it's over three hours long and the subtitles are absolute gibberish, this movie has some of the most schlocktastic action sequences I have ever seen. Later on there's a tractor fight! Suck it, Bruckheimer.

GOOD GUYS ARE JUST HARDER TO KILL