EXPERTS GUIDE TO BUYING A HOUSE

HOW TO USE A VCR

BABYSITTERS SUCK!

SPOOKYTOOTH: TENNIS IS LIT!

Get your game on and spread the l'oeuf with SPOOKYTOOTH

Dig Your Own Hole: Part 1

Is this your house?

Macs 4 Kidz!

HOW TO MAKE A McBLANK!

Tickets are on sale now for our 11/1 show in NYC at the Bell House! GET EM HERE!

CINDER BLOCK TUTORIAL

HOW 2 CONGA!

WOMAN VERSUS COMPUTER!

WIZARD SCHOOL SUX TOO!

Tonight EIT! Live is in Oakland at The New Parkway at 7PM and 9:30PM!

ATLANTIC CITY SCHOOL OF SLOT THEORY!

Tickets are on sale now for our 6/2 Salt Lake City Show at Brewvies! GET EM HERE!

THIS IS MY STORY

PAT O'BRIEN IS A DICK!

YOU SUCK AT SHOOTING HOME VIDEOS! from Everything Is Terrible! on Vimeo.

BE A ROCK N ROLL BABE!!!

LEARN MOUTH CALLIN'

Tickets are on sale now for our Knoxville show on 3/1!!! GET EM HERE!

And don't forget our new 3-disk, best-of DVD is on sale 2/24!!!! Woop Woop!

MEAN GENE!

NEW 3-DISK, BEST-OF DVD ON SALE 2/24!!!!!

ON TOUR 2/20!!!!!!!! Tickets for our 2/28 Athens, GA show are now on sale! GET EM HERE!!

HOW TO ENJOY YOUR JOB!

FACIAL TRANSCENDENCE

THANKSGIVING THROWBACK: MASTERING THE ART OF CARVING

Become an expert at carving the holiday bird!

Courtesy of the Deeper Understanding Collection!

All EIT! DVDs are only $10 all month long! Plus new patches, shirts, and cassettes! GETEM!

CLIMB THE LADDER!!!

LEARN 2 SPREADSHEET WITH KOMPUTER TUTOR

Our touring live show will be in Pittsburgh on 5/25 at Filmmakers! Get your tickets now!

WEDDING SHOOTING TAPE!

RIP 2013: FUTURE SCHLOCK

Happy 2014, everybody!!! Jake Jabs forever!!!!

MAGIC CREEPS' SECRETS REVEALED!

Tickets are on sale now for our New Orleans show on 12/8 at Siberia ! GET 'EM!!!!!

MASTERING THE ART OF CARVING

Become an expert at carving the holiday bird! Courtesy of the Deeper Understanding Collection!

Tickets are on sale now for our 12/10 show in Tampa @ Crowbar!

THE WHITE KEYS

HALLOWEEN MAKEUP CREEPS!

BUT ARE YOUR DATUMS STABLE?

I want every line of this video written in golden frosting on a thousand birthday cakes...


Stable Datums by everythingisterrible

JAKE JABS!

Thanks to Team Doom for the source

UPDOS MADE EASY

Courtesy of the Deeper Understanding Collection 

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY... HO, HO, HO.

This year, show that special someone just how much they're worth by heading on down to your local Everything is Terrible store to take advantage of our spectacular holiday deal spectacular!.

Holiday Tour! EAST!

12-7 - Detroit @ Corktown Cinemas (BUY!)

12-8 - Toronto @ Lee's Palace (BUY!)

12-9 - Montreal @ Pub Brouhaha

12-10 - Worcester, MA @ The Firehouse

12-11 - Troy, NY @ 51 3rd St

12-12 - Brooklyn, NY @ The Bell House (BUY!)

12-13 - Philadelphia @ PhilaMOCA @ 7PM (BUY!) and 9:30PM (BUY!)

12-14 - Boston @ The Coolidge Corner Theatre (BUY!)

12-15 - Baltimore @ The 5th Dimension (405 W. Franklyn)

12-16 - Pittsburgh @ Filmmakers' Melwood Screening Room (BUY!)

12-17 - Cincinnati @ Mayday (FREE!)

12-18 - Nashville @ The Belcourt Theater (BUY!)

12-19 - St. Louis @ Mushmaus

12-20 - Bloomington, IN @ The Bishop (BUY!)

12-21 - Chicago @ Lincoln Hall (BUY! )

Holiday Tour! WEST!

12-7 - San Francisco @ The Roxie (BUY!)

12-8 - Oakland @ ABCO Arts Space (3135 Filbert)

12-9 - UC Davis @ TCS Building Art Annex

12-10 - Portland @ The Hollywood Theatre (BUY!)

12-11 - Olympia @ Le Voyeur @ 8PM

12-12 - Vancouver @ The Biltmore Cabaret (BUY!)

12-13 - Seattle @ Central Cinema @ 7PM (BUY!) and 9PM (BUY!)

12-14 - Boise @ Spacebar Arcade
12-15 - Salt Lake City @ The Coffee Pit 

12-16 - Denver @ The Denver Film Center/Colfax (BUY!)

12-17 - Albuquerque @ The Guild

12-18 - Tucson @ The Loft (BUY!)

12-19 - Phoenix @ Filmbar @ 8PM (BUY!) and 10PM (BUY!)

12-20 - San Diego @ Che Cafe

12-22 - Los Angeles @ The Cinefamily @ 9PM (BUY!) and midnight (BUY!)

CAT MASSAGE, INTERNATIONAL

As some of you know, we had the pleasure of hosting Maryjean Ballner at this years Everything is Festival in Los Angeles. She was kind enough to present a keynote presentation and give us a priceless treasure... a VHS tape of Cat Massage dubbed in Japanese! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARYJEAN! May you forever ride the "Cat Massage Crazy Train".

(Photo by Airwave Ranger)

THE BAR-B-Q-GURU!

Another great addition for our continuing education series. Special thanks goes to Greg Barris & Uncle Pete's VHS collection!

INTRODUCING THE TEXAS HEART SHOT!

For all of you Juggaloz in Ireland we will be presenting a Best-of-EIT! show at the Darklight Festival in Dublin on Friday, October 21 at 10pm.

GUNFUN!

BRIDAL EXTRAVAGANZA!

Remember when the Yellow Pages came on VHS tape?


ALSO! Don't forget folks, tonight at The Cinefamily we present LORDS OF MAGICK with UNSEEN VIDS! LIVE MAGICK! and WRITER SHERMAN HIRSH IN PERSON! See you there, wizards!

ENTER THE GUEST BLOGGER: OPERATOR OVERLOAD

Today's guest blogger, Operator Overload, is a veteran from the Tuff Enuff Wars who brought us 3 Minute Boy Wonderz.

Now he's back with a look at the seedy underbelly of computer nerds...


...and GUNZ 4 KIDZ!


You can see more Operator Overload videos here!

THE BASKET OF YOUR DREAMS

KNOW THE GAME

SO YOU WANNA BE A GAMBLER!?

This guy has a totally different slant on how to play slots than the Slot Guru. God damn this guy is cool.

THIS VIDEO WAS ONCE $500

Thankfully the seller was patient enough to met me in the middle at a cool fourteen bucks.



And it looks like we've hit the bigtime!

BECOME THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE!

STREET FIGHT TONIGHT!

Buy this video and by the time the tape runs out you will know how to kill a dude. Seriously.

WINNING THE GAME OF SCHOOL!

SPORTZ NITE IN CHICAGO!!!

Boo-Yaahhhh Chicago!!! Come out tonight to the Hungry Brain for the only sportz action in town!! We are pulling out all the stopz and rolling out all of the finest sportz gemz from the vaultz of EIT! One night only! Free! Doors open at 8pm! Herez is a little taste for you Turkeys!!!



Big whoop-whoops to Kathleen "Hot Glue" Hurley in Ames, Iowa for the sweet Famous San Diego Chicken video!

DIALUP FOR DUMMIES

CHALLENGE! Surfing jokes, like face paint on a juggalo, are an essential part of the internet instructional tape experience. We want to compile the ultimate archive of these mid-90's knee slappers, so send us your internet instructional tapes at: P.O. Box 47924, Chicago, IL 60647

Future generations will thank you.

DRESS FOR YOUR SHAPE

THE LOTTERY GURU!

Look who's back!



For those who don't know, this dude will teach you all sorts of things about how not to make money.

FOOT DREAMS

MARRIAGE IS A PADDED CELL: A BRIDAL GIUDE!

SECRETS OF THE SNOW MASONS REVEALED!

Do you live under a constant sheet of two foot thick snow? Let the snow guru help you understand just what to do with it all.

MAKE SOME SERIOUS MONEY

Some real talk about money this holiday buying season from the EIT family to your family.

GUN SAFETY IS DIFFERENT FOR WOMEN...

... and Major Dad tells us why...

THE LIFE YOU SAVE MAY BE YOUR CAT'S

We love our cats here at Everything Is Terrible! and want only the best for our bewhiskered friends. While we hope you never have to use any of the information found on this video we are providing it as a public service to all of the kitties of the world and the beautiful people who love them.

DECK OUT YOUR BUNKER FOR Y2K

Thanks to El Scorcho for the video.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO...

Thanks for everything, Maryjean!

THE REVO STYLER

SEDUCTION 102

So, you've practiced all the moves in Smooching for Dummies but you still can't find a live human being to make out with. Well, once again EIT is here to save the day! Watch this lesson from the Tommy Wiseau school of seduction and you'll be caressing her thighs on satin sheets in no time.

THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO THE FUTURE

No seriously, this should be all you need to know about the future, it's a complete guide. These two knuckleheads can't wait for everything to be terrible so they can be on the first UFO to heaven.

SNOGGING 101

Is your pillow getting damp and clammy at night? Tired of your hand being your only makeout partner?* Then Smooching for Dummies is for you!



*WARNING: Smooching for Dummies does not guarantee that you will find an actual human being to make out with you.

ALL THINGS BEANIE

DOT COM BOOMERS

The Internet: Bridging generation gaps... one modem at a time.

BUNDLE O' STYLES PRESENTS: BRAIDS!

I miss boring week already.

HOWARD'S WESTERN STEER FOUR-PART BORING WEEK GRAND FINALE

RICK "CRUSHER" SCHERR AND THE SLUGGERS FROM HOWARD'S WESTERN STEER DISCUSS HITTING FOR POWER


BUDDY SLATER BREAKS DOWN FINER POINTS OF THE SLOW-PITCH KNUCKLEBALL


COACH BOBBY LUTZ AND RUSSELL "ROOSTER" BRADLEY SHIFT THEIR ATTENTION TO THE DEFENSIVE SIDE OF THE BALL


CLOSING REMARKS FROM COACH BOBBY LUTZ AND MR. RICHARD HOWARD HIMSELF

TAKE THE NAP OF DEATH IN THE TREE LOUNGE

KEEP THAT 'CRACKER AWAY FROM ME

From "Learn the Art of Whip Cracking Made Easy"



OFFICIAL REMIX CHALLENGE! We are challenging everyone to remix this video to Devo's "Whip It". You have until midnight (PST) on Friday, Sept.18th, to submit your video as a response. Entries will be judged by the founding members of Everything Is Terrible and the winner will be posted on our site. So yeah. Get to... crackin'...

UPDATE!!! Nobody wins the official remix challenge because we got no entries! Terrible job, everybody!!!

ADVANCED DOS STRATEGIES!

A WOMAN'S GUIDE TO FOOTBALL

It's like My Fair Lady, only about football.

IF THERE EVER WAS A WIN-WIN SITUATION... IT'S CAT MASSAGE!

"Think of it as therapy for you." - Betty White



Oh and by the way: butt-horn.

BEAT-A-TICKET OR TAKE-A-BEATING?

...it's all up to the LAPD.

SCARVES! GLORIOUS SCARVES!

There's more than one way to wear a scarf -- but there aren't more than twenty-five ways.

IT'S HARD BEING A SMOKER!

Phillip Morris is your only true friend.

THIS AIN'T YOUR FATHER'S RACQUETBALL

This is Sybervision.

THE 3 KEYS TO SUCCESSFUL CONDUIT BENDING...

COUNTRY RAP ATTACK

Just try and stop yourself from dancing. I dare you.



Oh what I wouldn't give to hear that techno rendition.

A BUCKET FULL OF TERRIBLE

Man she's zany.

TREAT YOUR CHILDREN WELL

In these rough times, I thought it would be helpful to suggest some often overlooked money making schemes. Like turning your child into gold.


Remember the only commodity more valuable than one baby is two.

THIS IS IN NO WAY A TEST OF YOUR PSYCHIC ABILITIES

If the exercises don't work, watch the video a couple dozen more times. You know what she is going to say before she says it! Congratulations, you are psychic!

MEETING WOMEN IS EASY

As long as you're not a squirrel molester....

THE LAS VEGAS GURU

Slots ain't magic.