memory hole - balentimes

vid by commodore gilgamesh with music by kai whiston

EARTH DAY AT DISNEY WORLD '95

MEMORY HOLE: VALENTINES DAY

COMPUTER POEMS '74

ULTIMATE XXX-TREME VALENTINES!

NSFMW, perverts.



 There's plenty more butt-touching where that came from at EiT Presents: Self-Pleasure for Two TOMORROW NIGHT at Chicago's Hungry Brain (2319 W. Belmont Ave.)! Our sexy panel of sexperts includes Tommy MacNamara, Goodrich Gevaart, The Puterbaugh Sisters and the proud owner of Chicago's most famous dick, Mike Lebovitz! Hosted by Katie McVay and Nicholas Rouley! Thursday, February 13th! 9pm! Bring yer boner, because this show is FREE!

DOUBLE MULLET LOVE

Make a winter love connection with "Dante's Mystery Mix Vol.2" now available on DVD from www.dantefontana.com.

New Holiday live shows just added!

12/13 - Savannah @ Graveface Records (BUY NOW)
12/17 - Memphis @ Hi-Tone Cafe (BUY NOW)

3 MINUTE COMPUTER BEACH PARTY

3 MINUTE MIRACLE BEACH

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Best get to flirting, kissing and marrying if you know what's good for ya.





And if you're spending this Valentine's Day alone, Baby Huey shares your pain.

R.I.P. 2012: FUTURE SCHLOCK

Happy almost 2013, everybody! We did it! I've got a date with Django Unchained this afternoon, so let's get to it. 2012 was a year when the art of the 2- (or 3- or 4-) minute movie reached new heights:







And you know I couldn't wrap up the year without the obligatory man-catching post:

VIOLET IS THE COLOR OF ROMANCE

Geez, lady, didn't you see She's All That?

2 MINUTE FIRE & ICE

A daredevil ski fantasy narrated by John Denver.



Doggie Woggiez Poochie Woochiez is in Asheville tonight, C'mon down to Broadways, 10pm!! Buy tickets!!

2 MINUTE ANOTHER CHANCE

CELEBRATE MAN POOCH LOVE!

Special Pooch Week thanks to my Dawg, Al Scorch, for the tape! Woof!

3-MINUTE AMERICAN CHINATOWN!

From the director of Miami Connection! No shit!



Like Miami Connection, the stilted performances, incomprehensible character development, and awkward pacing of this "film" demand to be seen in full. That's why we'll include a DVD copy with all orders placed between now and Monday, January 24!

(PS- The sound on the movie itself is beyond awful. I cleaned it up the best I could. Sorry it still sucks.)

GOOD FOR YOUR HEART, GOOD FOR YOUR PENIS

Today's hunk of junk is actually a bit serious, and is something Commodore Gilgamesh deals with every day of his life. From our EIT travels around the country, I am now positive that our audience consists of attractive, white males in their late 50's, with massive penis problems. It's honestly all they talk about! I also know that the teeny-tiny percent of women readers are here only to find new and erotic ways to entice their man after a hard days work. Well today's your lucky day!

Oh yeah, this is probably NSFYB (Not Safe For Yer Boner!)



And just in case any of you are having megabyte hard drive problems with your cyber-netting stuff, check out the video HERE.

GIVE YOURSELF OVER TO ROMANCE AND GLAMOUR!

You cannot resist Donna Mills and her spackle make up.

AVAST, YE FABIO

To all the secretaries around the country: Throw away your fireman calendars, burn those porcelain kitties, stop talking about last night's Lost, and remember who got you on that all-Tab diet in the first place...

NGONB!!!

Carousels. Snow globes. Muscles. Eight year-olds in NBC jackets. It sure seems like these "guys" are trying to solicit a long term, meaningful relationship from a small child.

CD MAKIN'

GOING ON A MAN HUNT!

This video teaches the ancient, desperate art of hunting the elusive creature known as man.



For more info, please purchase twelve audio cassettes.

LOVE, SEX AND DATING IN THE 90s

From the excellent video The Art of Meeting Men.

FABIO'S A TIME FOR ROMANCE

VIDEO KARAOKE!

I love watching white people make white people look stupid. And in this case I love it even more because somewhere there are white people watching these white people look stupid who look even more stupid than the white people in this video, who look stupid.




*From the collection of Yonder Vittles.