HOW TO RECOGNIZE A WIMP

HOW TO RECOGNIZE A WIMP /// EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE! from Everything Is Terrible! on Vimeo.

A CHRISTMAS CLOBBERIN'!

HOW 2 STAY SAFE

DOJO MOJO!

CLASSIC EIT! BULLY SMART!

A GIFT TO THE WORLD!

Oh what wonders! It's a Christmas miracle!
The original 15 minute IT by Matt Carter and Dom Reno!
We thought that this well-polished gem had been lost or buried for over 10 years, but now it's been found and given to us all!!!!!

We even tried to recreate it just over 7 years ago and we never thought this day would come! From now on, December 25th will be some sort of day of remembrance, mark my words.

IT'S OKAY TO BE DIFFERENT

Courtesy of the Deeper Understanding Collection. You can see more here!

BULLIES VS MAGICK!

Thanks to Dragon Sound for getting me out of the Fruit Boots and into some Heelys!

BULLY BUSTIN'

Always bring a psycho to a bully fight. Thanks to Dan Shelly and Matthew Littlehale for the tapes!

ARNOLD BULLIES KIDS FOR FITNESS

Courtesy of the Aaron Valdez Collection. You can see more at Wreck & Salvage and Hard Stars!

KID'S LIVES SECOND SEQUENCE

Hey, we're on tour. Did you know that? Tonight, we're at Houston's Super Happy Fun Land! 3801 Polk St! 9pm! Houston tonight at 9 PM at Super Happy Fun Land!



Previously on Kids' Lives...

SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT...AGAIN

Thanks a bunch for all of the positive vibrations over the past couple of days. Happy Holidays everyone! 2012 awaits! Update: After the STIFF ROD OF A MAN video was removed from youtoob, internet patriots have made it their mission to mirror the video far and wide for all to see!

KIDS' LIVES FIRST SEQUENCE

Part 1 of a trilogy...



Don't forget to join Ghoul Skool for a very special screening of The Dragon Lives Again!

BEEZBO: HOW TO BEHAVE LIKE A HUMAN BEING

Think of him as a crappy 'Alf.'

MAGIC DOG OR GHOST DOG?

You decide!

LET'S END CYBERBULLYING!

We have a lot of laughs here (allegedly), but it can be easy to forget that these are all real people with real emotions. For that, you should all be ashamed of yourselves. Hopefully this guilt trip will show you the error of your ways.



Thanks again to Jim Lauwers for the tape!

AUSTIN! THE QUEST FOR THE MAGICK CRYSTAL CONTINUES TONIGHT AT 7PM AT THE ALAMO RITZ! GET YER TICKETS!

STREET FIGHT TONIGHT!

Buy this video and by the time the tape runs out you will know how to kill a dude. Seriously.

UNLOCK THE SECRETS OF THE TEEN NINJA MYSTERY

What is it with ninja masters bringing young children into their caves?

HOW TO GET BEAT UP WORSE THAN BEFORE

This is a great self-help video teaching you how to become 'Bully Smart:' A surefire success for teaching bullies new and innovative ways in beating the living shit out of you after you temporarily stun them. To be honest, you probably had it coming anyhow.

Sorry for all the buzzing sounds. Oh, VHS!

FAT TONY MAKES FAT BEATS

MY TEACHER ATE MY HOMEWORK! (1997)

These are my 5 favorite scenes from this gem of children's moral-pushing horror-dramedy:

MATT CARTER'S '15 MINUTE IT' (REDUX)

Before the existence of the wonder that is Youtube, there was '15 Minute IT.' It was the year 2000, and Allen brought this gem down to Ohio University from Mentor, OH one Christmas break and almost immediately it became an obsession with all of us. As far as we were concerned, this was the 'Star Wars Kid' of our freshmen year, and back then there was no real venue for this sot of thing. The first time I saw it I was completely baked, and I remember losing control in laughter. It was the kind of thing we'd show at parties, and usually it was shown 3-5 times a night as we dove deeper and deeper into our weed comas. God, were we ever so innocent?

Considering how precious this tape meant to us, you'd think we would've taken better care of it. The tape itself broke at one point, so we had to carefully rip the plastic, and transfer the magnetic tape into another like some sort of open-heart surgery for VHS. We even had a friend of ours transfer it into a Quicktime file, but over the years all of our hard drives crashed, and every copy was lost forever. It was sort of cursed in many ways. But that only added to the legend that was '15 Minute IT.' Over the years, women falling in grape barrels and moms getting punched helped heal the wound of our loss- but it never felt right. I knew the only way to see '15MI' again was to re-create it from memory. And considering I'd seen it dozens upon dozens of times, my mind would be my only reference. Since I had never seen the original 'IT' in the first place, I found that it was like having a bell go off in my head everytime I heard a line like 'Cut 'em! Huh? Cut 'em?!'

The man who put this whole thing together was a kid named Matt Carter. All I really know about him was that he went to Mentor High, and is now living in Columbus. We hope to be getting the original tape very soon, and I've also heard about a '15 Minute Night Of The Living Dead' which I will have wet dreams about until it is posted.