HE'S KING, YA DUMMY

HUNK WEEK: 3-MINUTE CAMPUS MAN!

3-MINUTE CAMPUS MAN! from 23 Wolves on Vimeo.

HIDIN' 'N' SHRIEKIN'!

HIDE and/or SHRIEK! from 23 Wolves on Vimeo.

Something WEIRD is going on!

QUESTIONS OF A DUMMY

Buy ur tickets now for EIT! Live! in Boston on 5/20 at Brattle Theatre!

KOMPUTER KINDERGARTEN

Courtesy of the Deeper Understanding Collection!

THE FUTURE MAP OF THE UNITED STATES

Cartographers ain't what they used to be.

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR

This one goes out to all of our friends/fans who came out (and those who were turned away at the door) to the Totally Recalled show on Monday in Chicago - yall are the bestest! Read more about the show in Chicago Magazine.

LADIES AND GENTLEMAN. RICKY!

Thank you Memphis.

HILLBILLY COMEDY VIDEO ART!

These dudes are pretty experimental.

A WOMAN'S GUIDE TO FOOTBALL

It's like My Fair Lady, only about football.

KIDS ARE STUPID

THE CIRCLE IS COMPLETE

AM Northwest, the morning chat fest from Portland, loves to gab about Jesus sightings, so it's no surprise that they also love to talk about themselves talking about Jesus.



I think they might have missed the point. And I can't give away all my secrets but I'll reveal a hint as to how I got video of them: AM Northwest is a televised program.

So, local news shows, please continue to cover my Jesus video so I can make another video of you covering your own coverage. Thank you.

INTERNET 101

Take your newbie questions somewhere else, because the internet will not tolerate that shit.

BAM BAM BIGELOW CAN MAKE UP WORDS

Good night, sweet prince...

PAGE 34!

I am sorry to present this clip with all the censorship and boobage, but this one has always been a personal favorite...

THE PLIGHT OF DOLPH

Like most of you, I have followed the work of Dolph Lundgren for well over two decades. Some claim that he peaked in the titular role of Mark Goldblatt's urban-street-crime-drama-thriller "The Punisher"; others say his career has been on a downhill slope since his turn as the Street Preacher in "Johnny Mnemonic".

But true fans know that Dolph never looked better than he did in the flight suit of Major Jack Holloway in 1999's "Storm Catcher".

I now present to you a scene that was snubbed by the Academy (who gave the Oscar to that so-called "actor" Kevin Spacey), which I have titled:

What Dolph Knows...



And as an added bonus, I present to you:

What Dolph Is Supposed To Have Done...




Visit the official site of the action hero actor Dolph Lundgren.

THEY'RE GONNA PUT ME IN THE MOVIES!

*from the collection of Yonder Vittles.

HOOTEIRE CINEMA

Today, I present to you a genre of films that really means a lot to me. A genre overlooked by college professors and pretentious jerks everywhere: Ladies and gentlemen I present to you, 'Hooteire Cinema' (aka Hooter Cinema to the laymen).

Cinema historians and critics defined the canon of Hooteire Cinema in retrospect; many of those involved in the making of classic bonerrific movies later professed to be unaware of having created a distinctive type of film. Hooteires embrace a variety of genres, from the strong willed woman trying to make her way as a stripper to support her only son, to the strong willed woman trying to climb the corporate ladder in a cruel, man's world. Although the premises of these films may have been as varied as the protagonists' bikini collection, one fact kept them all together- hooters are awesome.

It's hard to believe, but as far as the critics are concerned, Hooteire Cinema will forever be the surgical scar on the boob job that is modern Hollywood. But I defy any film critic working today to tell me they don't have fond memories of sitting in their parents basement at 1am on a Friday, watching 'The Great Bikini Off Road Adventure' in awe with the sound turned off so their parents don't wake up. I'm getting teary penised just thinking about it.

INTERVIEW OF THE YEAR

Hurdle-curious.

IT'S INFOMERCIAL DAY AT EIT!

Say what you will about the withered souls of infomercial producers, but they sure do know who watches paid programming at 3 am:

stupid people,


girls with low self-esteem (and the creepy men who prefer them that way),



and budding serial killers.


Oh, and, uhm, us.

TALKING DOGS MONTH (PART 2)

MORON MOVIES

TIME OUT

Since Commodore left for good, almost none of you have commented or shown in any way that you care. Your punishment shall be one Moron Movies clip a day until someone else posts or shows EIT some love.



Now go and think about what you've done.

RIGHT ON!

Retro Bill is down with the kids. He knows our style, our attitude, our way of life. Cool!

LISTEN TO THOSE DUMMIES ROAR