GERBERT WANTS TO DIE

FASHION FASCISTS!

GAME OF THE FUTURE!

NOT SO HOT FOR THE INTERNET!

Courtesy of SpookyTooth!

BEST OF YONDER VITTLES!

MEMORY HOLE: VIDEO COP

MEMORY HOLE: THE COPS

MEMORY HOLE: MARRIAGE DEATH PACT

THE GREATEST ACTION MOVIE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN

BAD SANTA CLAUSES

Loose Meat presents: Santas Gone Wild! Watch what happens when the bad boys of toys stop being nice and start being naughty!

THE DANGERS OF TELEVISION

There ARE things worse than death, and that includes missing EIT's East Coast Tour! Tickets just went on sale for our 10-27 Philly show! GET EM!

DO A BETTER JOB WEEK!

STRANGER DANGER VS. CREEPY COPS!

Hey Chicago! There's plenty more bully busters and self-defense creeps where that came from at EiT Presents: Selfless Defense for the Self Defenseless, TOMORROW NIGHT at Hungry Brain! Featuring performances by Katie McVay, John Eisenrich, J. Michael Osborne and a headlining set from Jeff Steinbrunner! Hosted by Ian Abramson! 9pm! FREE!

HEAVEN'S HEROES

Part 3 in a series by Dante Fontana. This follows THE LORD, PUPPETS & ME and FACE IN THE MIRROR!

ARE YOU NOT GOING TO SAY "GOODBYE"?

2-MINUTE R.I.O.T.

God's Rappin' Captain isn't just a pilot, he's also an anti-gang vigilante!

COWBOYZ 4 CHRIST!

RIGHT NOW AND EVERY SECOND

This incredible Nigerian anti-piracy PSA comes courtesy of EIT BFF Brian, proprietor of Odd Obsession Movies and owner of a kick-ass Ghanian movie poster collection. Thanks Brian!

POLICE HUMOUR

R.I.P. 2011: REM LEZAR

Some of my favs from the year:

Ex-San Diego Charger Miles Mcpherson asks his students to ask, and then ridicules them if they don't agree with his answer:


Boyd made me feel true loneliness:


The Central Organization of Police Specialists teamed up with criminals to tell us all about what must easily be the most addictive psychedelic of all time:


Had to throw this one in for the holiday season as it contains the best "Jingle Bells" rendition ever:


And with 2012 almost upon us, don't forget to take heed of this dated "timeless" message:


Thanks for all yer support folks! Oh and those shoes weren't magic at all, we only told you that to give you confidence! The real magic was inside of YOU this whole time!

C.O.P.S.

By the way, do you know where/how I can find Crystal Twist in time for Burning Man?



Depending on where you lived and what stations you watched, you may remember this cartoon from Saturday mornings. I think somebody posted almost every episode of this show on YouTube.

MEET JOE AVERAGE - COP!

RESIST POLICE STATE MIND CONTROL!!!

Special thanks to Lil' Gordon Shumway from Chicago, Illinois for the tape!

HOLLYWOOD COP/SAMURAI COP DOUBLE FEATURE!

Even in an era when action sludge was more common than shoulder pads or skinny ties, 1989’s Samurai Cop stood out as a true anomaly. Perhaps living legend Joe Bob Briggs summed it up best: a “recently unearthed, soon-to-be-classic kung-fu action-comedy skin flick with gratuitous gore elements.” That’s a good start, and yet there’s so much more! Ex-Stallone bodyguard Matt Hannon stars as Joe Marshall, a rock of a man who will do literally whatever it takes to punish the guilty -- even if that means taking dozens of innocent lives in the process! Teamed up with truly hilarious black sidekick Frank (his race and genitals are mentioned waaaay more than once), Joe embarks on an adventure so psychedelically violent and sex-tastic, there's a chance Hunter S. Thomson will return from his “space ashes” just to drool along with us. Oh, and fear not, Robert Z'Dar fans, you'll see plenty of the chin that made the Z famous, in rare bearded form. What's that, you say? One cop ain't enough to flog 'yer fists? Fine, we'll also add demented Samurai Cop auteur Amir Shervan’s Hollywood Cop into the mix -- if you can handle it! Get 'tix HERE!

2-MINUTE (OR SO) HOLLYWOOD COP!

If I were an analog film editor, then by the time I finished this 2(ish) minute cut I would have been neck deep in forgotten reels and my own tears. There's so many subplots going on in this nug that I might have to make the first 2-Minute sequel shortly. It's the next course I recommend in the 'When Shirtless Dudes With Machine Guns Ruled the Earth.' film studies program. I also want to say that this tape is one of our first coveted relics that we bought as pals in college, and was the tape that turned a boy named Joel into a man named Airwave Ranger. This one's for you, pal!



Also, people kept telling me to watch this with that '1911' button (click and watch it on YouTube), and I gotta say- it's a pleasant surprise!

2-MINUTE SENIORITA JUSTICE!!!

You like reinforcing negative ethnic stereotypes don't cha? How 'bout constant yet poorly-choreographed violence devoid of context swimming in a sea of machismo sexist posturing? This movie has everything!

DREAMS OF A TRUCKASAURUS

Thanks to B. Kosmina from Australia for the tape!

THE BALLAD OF SHOTGUN JONES

Big thanks to 23 Wolves for sending us this magic crystal. I highly recommend the feature-length version, which is kinda like "Miami Vendetta" sharing a one room apartment with "Bad Boys II". If you can imagine.

CAST-IRON HOME DEFENSE

Come on, ladies... do you really want this to happen?



You know who has a plan? Leah from Utica, NY has a plan.

EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE MEETS SHOW BEAST THIS THURSDAY, JULY 29TH AT JESUS CAMP IN BALTIMORE, MD!! IT'S GONNA HAPPEN!!

3-MINUTE BLACK NINJA

WASHINGTON, DC! THE QUEST FOR THE MAGICK CRYSTAL CONTINUES TONIGHT AT 8PM AT THE SOLLY'S U STREET TAVERN!

S TO THE W TO THE A TO THE T

Today's TUFF ENUFF FOR EIT video comes from JDobbs Rosa of Los Angeles!



Remember, it's different holding a scope on a live person.

COP COOL

A special EIT! thanks goes out to the VHS archivists at Vulcan Video in Austin, Texas for shelving this beauty in their instructional VHS section. The next time you are in Austin stop by Vulcan Video and support your old timey local video shoppe!

GOOD COP/BAD COP!

BEAT-A-TICKET OR TAKE-A-BEATING?

...it's all up to the LAPD.

SENSITIVITY TRAINING FOR COPS

Somebody didn't watch the video...

THIS ONE'S FOR THE BUTT-HORNS

A hard-boiled Gary Busey fights terrorists in possession of a super-tank?

Where do I sign up for this action-packed, thrill-ride?

3 MINUTE HAWK JONES

Suck it, Bugsy Malone.



And check out this review of EIT the Movie over at the Onion A.V. Club!

THE WAIT IS OVER...

MEET DETECTIVE MALONE... HE'S GETTING TOO OLD FOR THIS

In 1980 Castro emptied his jails... they came to America with a vengeance.

FACK YOO, CAWP!

Thanks, Cinefile.

DOUBLE DIPPING

I don't care if I'm double dipping, but here are two videos we made last near that no one seemed to notice.





Thanks to Mason for the props. Check out his stuff too, it's the exact opposite of terrible.

THE RETURN OF HAWK JONES

Due to popular demand, here's some more Hawk Jones.

HAWK JONES: THE MOVIE WITH THE KIDS IN IT!

THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES

These three movies prove that you only need to watch the first five minutes to know how good a film is.


Wouldn't the world be better off if everyone had shaved heads, just imagine a baldie utopia.


This little gem is brought to you by the same genius behind Miami Vice.

The opening may seem innocent enough, but trust me everything goes down hill for the graduates of Malibu High.

TALKING DOGS MONTH (PART 2)

EXCESSIVE FORCE EXCESSIVE FORCE EXCESSIVE FORCE EXCESSIVE FORCE EXCESSIVE FORCE EXCESSIVE FORCE EXCESSIVE FORCE EXCESSIVE FORCE EXCESSIVE FORCE...

That's the name of the movie.

TAKING ONE FOR THE TEAM

Yeah, I know, you've already seen it, but there's nothing like Erik Estrada in pain to brighten a dreary February day.

2 MINUTE SCANNER COP