ALIEN TEETH ROT FOR YOUR PLEASURE

THE EARTH IS BEING HAUNTED BY MIND ALIENS!!!

UFO DIARIES!

ALIENZ!

Our government has publicly released a small bit of footage revealing unexplainable phenomena in the skies, possibly alien. But over at EIT! we've got stacks of tapes with more evidence than the human mind can comprehend! WE WANT YOU TO BELIVE! Courtesy of SpookyTooth!

MONSTER HIGH!

LEROY!

FEEDERS 2: SLAY BELLS

Our holiday sale continues until Jan. 1! DVDs are only $10! Plus we have new cassettes featuring all of your favorite songs from EIT! videos! And more! http://everythingisterrible.bigcartel.com/

SPACE WAR FEELINGS 'BOUT STUFF

COWBOYS & ALIENS & A TAE KWON DO BAND

Harrison Ford had initially tried to get in on this project, but contract negotiations fell apart so he had to settle for a watered down re-boot of this movie years later.


Friends 4-ever!
Miami Connection is playing all over the place this weekend, including the 3 Rivers Film Festival in Pittsburgh tonight!  Find all show listings here

ONLY 93 SHOPPING DAYS LEFT UNTIL THE APOCALYPSE!

INTRODUCING DR. ALEXANDER NECKYFAROW

BEEZBO: HOW TO BEHAVE LIKE A HUMAN BEING

Think of him as a crappy 'Alf.'

EIT: THE UNTOLD STORY

Learn the truth behind The Truth! (And like all shocking exposes, it is briefly NSFMW.)

DUSTIN DIAMOND TEACHES CHESS, PART 1

This is the first installment from "Dustin Diamond Teaches Chess", a FOUR-HOUR LONG instructional video that is chock full of terrible:



It's only going to get worse. You can thank Sharon Mooney for unleashing this unto the world.

THE TIME HAS COME

This is it. The video I have kept hidden from the public for almost a year. I thought I would only play this live; to physically see the faces of the audience as they collectively barfed. But now is the time to show this to the people... Though I must warn you, you seriously cannot un-see this and once you push play, there's no going back...



UPDATE: Due to absolutely no demand, here's a translation courtesy of German speaking pal Thomas!

"Extra-Terrestian! You must go on planet "Earth." As you know,
otherwise our race will die out. We unlearned (or, like, lost the
ability) to have fun at sex. On Earth, we write the 19th century. There
I will bring you to a family."

(ET pops up in smoke)
Man: "A little blowing in the morning drives off all anger and
worries. My Beloved...

ET (scientific observing tone): "Female Earth Humans take genitals of
the man into the mouth. And how big the penis gets! It seems..."

ET: (Seriously, I'm not kidding.): "My hole starts to itch. Whether the
sex addiction is infectious on earth? I like/enjoy it, how the man puts
is dick into the snatch/cunt/twat (whatever word for vagina is the most
vulgar.) of the woman. That is a BIG cunt, with lobes (German word for a
wet cleaning rag applied to the labiae.)"

IT'S UNARIAN WEEK!

In honor of the upcoming Interplanetary Confederation Day on October 15 and the imminent arrival of the space brothers, this week we will be raising our consciousness and celebrating all things Unarius. See ya on the mothership!





A big, big thanks to John Boles (who sent in 5 Unarian tapes!) for making this week possible.

WHAT THE REPTILIAN HUMANOIDS DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW...

Area 51 was an inside job.

2EVERYTHING2TOURDIARY7!

This week was our long-awaited return to the loving embrace of Texas and the Alamo Drafthouse. Despite van troubles we rolled in just in time for a sold-out show at the Alamo Lake Creek in Austin, then to Houston for a joint birthday celebration for the Commodore and Bob at the Alamo West Oaks, and then we finished the weekend in San Antonio at the Alamo West Lakes:


(thanks to Jaz for the pic)

Then we bid a tearful goodbye to Austin, home of breakfast tacos and swimming holes, with our triumphant return to the Alamo Ritz! This time we had all our cords in hand and everything went great. Zack, John, and Bret (and everyone else at the Drafthouse), you guys are amazing.

Now we're in New Mexico! Finally, a place where we blend in!



Special thanks to Kief at the Guild, D-Cat for planning tonight's show at the Ubermind, Fat Worm of Error for the noise, and Jenna, ABQ's street teamer extraordinaire, for the bag of 27 Jerrys!



Tomorrow night at 8:30 we'll be in Denver at the Starz Film Center! See you there, Colorado! Booyah!

THE ARRIVAL

Your ancestors sold out to intergalactic scammers and now cosmic hipppies have come to raise your consciousness. Pretty standard stuff for evolving into a spiritual energy being of pure love oscillation...



Much, much more Unarius stuff coming soon!

ORLANDO! THE QUEST FOR THE MAGICK CRYSTAL CONTINUES TONIGHT AT 8PM AT WILL'S PUB! GET YER TICKETS!

4-MINUTE THE ALIEN AGENDA: ENDANGERED SPECIES!

SHATNER V. NIMOY!

Taking the whole Y2K thing into consideration, I'd call this one about even.

WELCOME TO ERF... DAY

E.T. is a fearmonger, plain and simple. He is getting rich of global warming hysteria and with the media's help. Go back to your home planet, you fucking warm-profiteer.

YOU! LOOK AT ME! RESPOND!

Aren't you tired of non-interactive board games that don't constantly yell at you? ANSWER ME!


Thanks again to Conan the Librarian for another wonderful tape!

THERE ARE SO MANY WAYS TO KIDNAP KIDS...

Only you can protect your sexy alien child from a world of relentless pervs.

3-MINUTE BIOHAZARD: THE ALIEN FORCE

SHOCKING INTERVIEW WITH A MYSTERIOUS ASSHOLE

This post is terminated.

ARE YOU PREPARED?

Apparently they are still waiting for that spaceship...

MCDONALD'S, COCA-COLA AND THE AMERICAN WAY

Now we all know about the wheelchair kid falling off the cliff and the McDonald's dance scene, but Mac & Me is a pure crap classic with a great message of acceptance.



I believe Americans are finally ready to accept asshole faced aliens as our equals. We're still waiting for a sequel, McDonald's...