JERRY'S LADDER

An uncut scene from the 1996 psychological thriller, Jerry Maguire.

ALEX MCNEELY IS DOING A GREAT JOB!!!

Alex McNeely has now donated 1,253 Jerrys to our cause! What have you done with your life?! This Pyramid of Jerrys in the desert will not build itself unfortunately. Donate today: 

Everything Is Terrible! PO BOX 50825, Los Angeles, CA 90050 USA

JERRY DRIVE 2015!

Please send your Jerrys via USPS media mail to PO BOX 50825, Los Angeles, CA 90050

WE BROKE 10K JERRYS!

We now have over 10,000 copies of Jerry Maguire on VHS! We received 1,400 during our last 2 week tour! WE NEED MORE! Please send your orphaned Jerrys to: 

PO BOX 50825 Los Angeles, CA 90050

JERRY-NETICS!

THREE MINUTE JERRY

THREE MINUTE JERRY!!! from Everything Is Terrible! on Vimeo.

We have 5,000 Jerrys! Chicago friends come celebrate this joyous occasion with us this Saturday at Saki for some sweet experimental video, sweet comedy, and even sweeter sentimental tunes spun straight from the Jerry soundtrack. 7pm. Donations support the ongoing production of Channel 2020 and Sexcity.

5,000 JERRIES. ONE NIGHT ONLY.*

Chicago! As we approach an important milestone in Maguirewatch history-- the ceremonial donation of the 5,000th Jerry-- we cordially invite you to join us and our pals at Saki (3716 W. Fullerton in Logan Square) for Show Me The Jerrys: An Everything is Terrible Gala!

Not only will you be able to bask in the glory of thousands upon thousands of Jerry Maguires stacked, shelved, and piled into pyramids and other magickal structures, we've got comedy from Chicago funny people Chad Briggs, Katie McVay, Lisa Laureta and Natalie Jose, video from GOOP of the GODS, Maguire loops that will alter your perceptions of time and space, and sweet EIT stuff to raffle off!

All donations collected at this FREE event will go towards expanding our Terrible empire in the form of our web series Sex City and Channel 2020!

Super cool, right? Then come join us this Saturday at 7!!

*PS TOTALLY NOT AN APRIL FOOL'S JOKE!

HOLIDAY TOUR JERRYS!

We received 758 Jerrys in just two weeks! In case you were keeping score, the West Coast was the big winner with 423 to the East's measly 335! We also received 1 Jerry wreath and 2 homemade, giant Jerrys! Thanks everyone! We are almost to our goal of infinity Jerrys!!!!! Keep 'em coming!

HELP US HELP JERRYS

Hey gang, let's get serious for a second. There's an issue affecting this planet which has been ignored by the totally lamestream media, and we can stay silent no more.



Don't forget to bring your saved Jerrys to your local stop on All Dogs Go On Tour!

OFFICIAL JERRY COUNT!

The numbers are finally in! 1,507! Jerrys! Holy shit! Thanks to everyone who has donated! We've done some great work here, but we've got a long way to go. Think of all those Jerrys out there... waiting, wishing, dreaming. One day, they will all be reunited! They must! I have a dream! And so does Georgia The Cat! Keep 'em koming!

Send them Jerrys to:

Everything Is Terrible!

PO BOX 50825
Los Angeles, CA 90042

MAUGIREWATCH UPDATE: RISE OF THE TERRIBLITES!

Man, y'all have been killin' it lately!

Hezaakun's been jerry-hunting,





Roy Fishjack had a self-completing Easter basket,



and Erin had a very Branson birthday:





And terriblite Spatz sent us this awesome comic with his Jerry:







Thank you so, so much to all the amazing Terriblites who have sent us Jerries, VHS, comics, cookies,CDs and even clothes (special shout-out to Collin and Emma of Cuddle Bat Graphics)! You really do complete us!

FUQUAY-VARINA JERRY HOTBED!!!

A member of the EIT! family, Liz Pardue-Schultz, recently unearthed a rich vein of Jerries in Fuquay-Varina, North Carolina. The discovery of 12 copies of the coveted Jerry Maguire VHS tape represent the lowest per capita population of people per copy of Jerry Maguire in the continental United States recorded to date - a stunningly low 1,492.5 PPJ, or Population Per Jerry.



Here are some statistics to demonstrate just how amazing Fuquay-Varina's PPJ numbers actually are. Commodore Gilgamesh - in a recent Jerry scouting mission to Los Angeles California - found only 66 Jerries, making LA's current PPJ 58,058. Northside Tony's discovery of 51 Jerries makes the Chicago PPJ 55,907. Thanks to Liz Pardue-Schultz, Northside Tony, and all of the other amazing juggalos and juggalettes out there seeking Truth and Jerry Maguire.

MAGUIREWATCH UPDATE!

Rumors are flying among Maguire insiders that former champion Destination a-go-go is gearing up for a Jerry showdown with the new king, Tom Rombouts!




But amidst the drama of the struggle for the Maguire crown, we wanted to take a moment to say "thanks" to all the self-completers out there who have sent us their Jerrys.

Every Maguire you send to Everything is Terrible! is special, from the 31 we got from Team Doom of Denver, Co:



to the one sent in by this Maguire skeptic:



KEEP SENDING DEM JERRYS, INTERNET!

2 EVERYTHING 2TOURDIARY 10!

Well, we did it. We found the Magick Crystal.

Sigh.

Don't get me wrong, it's nice to be home sleeping on my VHS bed again, but something feels...missing. Sunshine hurts my eyes and pizza tastes bad. I saw a dog on a skateboard the other day and barely even laughed.

I gotta be honest- I miss the van.
I miss the weird shit on the dash (Virgin Frankenstein by Gracie- thanks, Gracie!),



I miss Lords Hinyin and Minyin,

photo by Michael Gill

photo by Steven Soloway

photo by Sybil

I miss nice people in St. Louis giving us cookies (thanks Erin!),

photo by H. Lindsy Donahue

I even miss the Commodore threatening to fire Yonder Vittles and me on stage.

photo by Bruce Ojard

But most of all I miss those sweet, sweet Jerries.

photo by September Slater

Thanks to the Hollywood Theater, Clinton and everyone at Central Cinema (Quentin-we have your tape!), the Ridge in Vancouver, Missoula, Montana, the Corn Palace, the folks at the Dundee Theatre in Omaha, Tim and Shayna and everyone else at Zinema 2, Cedar Cultural Center (thanks again Ray) and the AV Club Twin Cities, Kate and Project Lodge in Madison, and Times Cinema in Milwaukee!! Booyah to you all!!!

THIS MAN NEEDS YOUR JURASSIC PARKS!

Unless you've been in rehab for the past 4 months, you probably already know we have made it our mission to track down every VHS copy of Jerry Maguire in existence.

Recently, we were contacted by someone with a similar obsession and we were so moved by his story that would like to share it with you.



Kurt has collected 229 copies of Jurassic Park, including:
- 3 copies which are in the original shrink wrap with Jello Jigglers mail-in rebates
- 6 widescreen / letterbox editions
- 1 double-tape special edition
- 1 special Canadian import
- 1 Japanese version bought in Japan

Sadly, there will never be enough copies of Jurassic Park on VHS to slake this man's thirst. If you have a copy of Jurassic Park to donate, please contact Kurt at kurtasbestos.com. Together, we can make a difference.

65 JERRYS!!!

The winner of the autographed Matt Matney VHS and all-time reigning EIT! superfan is the one, the only...

Destination A Go-Go not only sent us 65 Jerrys, but he also sent this lil' number here!

What a sweetheart! Thanks to everyone who has donated. Keep those Jerrys flowing!

THIS SINGING BABY IS ALL GROWN UP!

And give us your Jerrys! Because...



There is an autographed copy of Matthew Matney's Favorites on VHS in our possession. This tape will be given to one lucky person out there in Terribleland! All you have to do is give us the most Jerrys. You have 30 days. Seriously, whoever gives us the most Jerrys will receive this one-of-a-kind gem! Booya!

GIVE US YOUR JERRYS (AND OTHER TAPES)!!!!

Hey gang,
It's time for us to clear up a little misconception that's been bugging us for the past year. Contrary to somewhat popular belief, we don't reedit or repost videos from Youtube or any other video hosting site. Every video posted on EIT has been lovingly crafted from the direct source VHS tape as nature intended.

Recently, we've been sent a lot of links to funny internet videos, the most Terrible of which we have "Re-Tweeted"© on our Twitter account. While we want you to keep sending us links because we like a good lol as much as the next blogger, what we really want is tapes. We know you've still got them in your attic, basement, area thrift shop and mountain of broken VCRs and we want them.

So here's what to do: send us an email with a brief description of the tape at everythingisterriblefund@gmail.com. We have a lot of tapes already and don't want you to waste money sending us something we already have. If we use your tape on the site, we'll put your name or a link to your website in the post. We may even give out special prizes to those with the most Terrible tapes. And if you want the tape back, we'll mail it back to you and reimburse your shipping cost. There's nothing to lose and world wide internet fame to gain!

That being said, there is one tape (or the One Tape) that we want every copy of and that magical tape is Jerry Maguire. Here at EIT, we have a special history with Jerry Maguire. For over a year, we've been chronicling wild packs of Maguires in their native thrift store habitat with our patented Maguirewatches, and during that time, we decided to start a Jerry Maguire sanctuary to preserve these great artifacts. Our goal is to have the largest private collection of Jerry Maguire VHS tapes in the history of mankind and we need your help. If you or somebody you know has a VHS copy of Jerry Maguire that needs a loving home, please donate it to us at:

Everything is Terrible!
P.O. Box 47924
Chicago, IL 60647 USA



Don't let another orphaned Jerry sit forgotten in a cold, dark bargain bin. Send it home to our bathtub where it belongs. Thank you.

EIT SELLS OUT!

A big, big thank you to everybody that came out on Saturday to see the premiere of Everything is Terrible: the Movie! We could not have asked for a more enthusiastic and supportive crowd. This was the first time we got to experience the Terrible with a live audience and it was a real treat.

Congratulations to happysquid on her new title of Keeper of the Terrible and her bounty of Jerry Maguire tapes. Although she could not accept all 100 on Saturday, she has been enrolled in the Maguire of the Month Club which will bring a new used VHS copy of Jerry Maguire to her home every month.

Also sincere apologies to any persons that were hit by flying VHS tapes (thanks for not holding a grudge, xpoint). We will try to keep all head injuries internal for future performances.

We would also like to express our gratitude to the staff of the Silent Movie Theatre and the Cinefamily for their hard work and for allowing us to perform our cult ritual in their lovely theatre.

Finally we would like to give some recognition to two unsung heroes that helped make all this possible: Bobby Nintendo and Lehr(the Intern)thing. Both of them did many thankless jobs for very little reward and we are eternally grateful for their tireless efforts.



But don't feel left out, non-Angelenos. We have Chicago and New York shows in the works and hopefully many other cities near you. We won't stop until we are living the dream with a nightly show in Branson.

Thanks to Ashley for the pictures.

HOLY MAGUIRE!

The mother of all Maguirewatches. Will this ever be topped? No.

MAGUIREWATCH! THE SAGA CONTINUES

MAGUIRE WATCH! STAGE 1

EIT presents 'Maguire Watch.' Anytime you see more than 4 copies of Jerry Maguire at a thrift or used video store, take a photo and add it to the pile. I have a feeling this could either go nowhere, or blow up. So please, have those camera phones ready, people (or Joel).