GRUMPY OLD MEN DESTROYED SUZANNE SOMMERS

CIGARS ARE FOR A-HOLES!

TOM CRUISE WORSHIPS SATAN!

Tape courtesy of weeknightrewind on IG!

UNIVERSAL STUDIOS MAGIC WITH BOTANICUS!

ALL THE BIG NAMES!

IS KAT WILLIAMS HAVING A STROKE?!

LONELY LEO LOVERS

Lonely Leo Lovers UNITE!

CHRISTINA AGUILERA BROWNIES

CRYING FOUL ON PATRIOTISM

LOOSE MEAT​ present 4 Fun Ideas for a Fantastic 4th!

1. Spend 4th of July by the water
Find a lake, a pool or a beach to enjoy swimming, fishing, canoeing, boating and splashing to beat the heat.

2. Have a 4th of July barbecue with family and friends
If you've been invited to barbecue, enjoy this American tradition and if not, why not host your own 4th of July barbecue? Be sure to include 4th inspired desserts and drinks and buy a few sparklers and firecrackers to end the night with a bang. If you're not up for having the party at your home, have your friends meet you at a park – make sure to bring lots of cold drinks and barbecue fare to enjoy.

3. Attend a 4th of July festival
If you can't make it to the water and find yourself without the motivation to throw a party, no worries, find a community that celebrates the 4th with a festival and go enjoy the holiday en masse. Catch a parade or better yet, volunteer to be in a parade.

4. Watch Fireworks
It wouldn't be 4th of July without fireworks! You can buy your own and host a private fireworks display or check your local Chamber of Commerce to find a display close to home. Bring a blanket and chill-out under the stars as the sky lights up to commemorate our nation's birthday.

Happy 235th birthday America. And many more.

Brought to you by Michaels Car Center​ in Fort Gratiot, MI.

LET'S DRAW!

Loose Meat brings you a tutorial compilation for drawing all your favorite, most hottest celebs for Do A Better Job Week! We had a time constraint so you may have to slow it down to get the finer points, but you get the idea!

PAT O'BRIEN IS A DICK!

YOU SUCK AT SHOOTING HOME VIDEOS! from Everything Is Terrible! on Vimeo.

LATENITE HEARTBREAK!

LATENITE HEARTBREAK! from 23 Wolves on Vimeo.

Why do we hurt the ones we love the most?

FACIAL DISCRIMINATION!

SMOKIN' STICKS!

SMOKIN' STICKS! from 23 Wolves on Vimeo.

A sensational story serializing the seamy side of cigar smuggling! Now it can be told...

MEMORIES OF BRITNEY!

23 Wolves only plays the hits!

MICHAEL LIVES!

THE GREATEST STARS EVER ASSEMBLED

KIDS IN MOTION

Join us as we pass the time making the shapes of numbers with our bodies. Courtesy of the Deeper Understanding Collection!

DELLA REESE GLASS SAFETY PSA

Be safe this summer!

SAFETY SOUL

Dying ain't cool.


NEW SHOW ADDED!
Irvine, CA
Cross Cultural Center White Room
12 -21 @ 8PM
$8

GOD IS A DICK PART 999

Courtesy of the Deeper Understanding Collection. Also our good friend Amy Leach from Dragon Sound, who made our Duane figurines and Doggie pentagram necklaces, has started her own toy company! She's currently selling Krampus figures and you should get one because everybody needs a Krampus! You can see her work and find more info at facebook.com/Plastictastic.

FOUND FOOTAGE BATTLE ROYALE 2012 RECAP PART 3

There can't be a champion without a challenger and this year, the honor of falling just short of the Ultimate Prize and being haunted by the failure for years to come belongs to the Sadist. Let's give him a hand.

FOUND FOOTAGE BATTLE ROYALE 2012 RECAP PART 1

Another year, another winner stands triumphant over the broken bodies of their rivals. In the most competitive Battle Royale yet, the night belonged to the two-headed beast known as Deeper Understanding. All hail your new godking!



A big thank you to everyone who submitted! The Battle Royale gets better every year and it's all because of your fantastic submissions. Come back tomorrow to witness the spectacle of Deeper Understanding's killing blow! It involves butt stuff!

2 MINUTES OF NONSENSE

Sometimes our videos are cultural commentary viewed through a distorted VHS prism and sometimes our videos are a bunch of random people saying silly things. This is the latter.

AT WAR WITH THE WEIGHTS

War is hell and sweaty counting.

Courtesy of the Aaron Valdez Collection. You can see more at Wreck & Salvage and Hard Stars!

SALLY STRUTHERS FITNESS WALKING

Always put on all your makeup before exercising.



Courtesy of the Aaron Valdez Collection. You can see more at Wreck & Salvage and Hard Stars!

ANN ARBOR, MI! Come to the Yellow Barn (416 W Huron) tonight!

THE GOLDEN GIRLS RETURN FROM SPACE MOUNTAIN

Here's the sequel to THE MOUSEKETEERS ESCAPE TO SPLASH MOUNTAIN. Another mix of live action Disney TV specials of the 70's/80's (and now this time we venture into the 90's) Enjoy!



The Doggie Woggiez Poochie Woochiez road show is rolling into Jacksonville tonight! Sun-Ray Cinema! 9pm! Be there!

BEN AFFLECK FAILS THE DRUG ABUSE TEST

Courtesy of the Crazy Dave Tape Collection. You can see more here!

NEW ORLEANS! Tonight we'll be at the Zeitgeist Multi-Disciplinary Arts Center! Buy your tickets NOW or regret it later!

PAUL REISER'S HOLLYWOOD ADVENTURE

...stretches the definition of 'adventure' to the limits!



Courtesy of the Aaron Valdez Collection. You can see more at Wreck & Salvage and Hard Stars!

TEEN FUN!

If you teens want some real teen fun, EIT!'s awesome new DVD and live show is dropping mother-barking tomorrow! Check out Turbo, AKA Radical, Laying down some killer tracks for Friday's Lincoln Hall show in Chicago!

NO RESPECT STRANGER DANGER

Uh oh.

GREAT MOVIES, GREAT REBATES!

Sometimes George Takei just likes to beam down to the old studio to see if there's anything to promote. It gets lonely in space.

KIDS' LIVES FIRST SEQUENCE

Part 1 of a trilogy...



Don't forget to join Ghoul Skool for a very special screening of The Dragon Lives Again!

IT'S THE 90S...

...and nobody can shut up about it.


Thanks to all the Facebook folks that helped me track these down!

BUBBA UNTIL IT HURTS

RIP Bubba.


Courtesy of the Aaron Valdez Collection. You can see more at Wreck & Salvage and Hard Stars!

STEEL STOMACHS

If you have a flabby stomach, if no one else can help, and if you can find him, maybe you can hire The A-Team's Dirk Benedict to workout with you.



Courtesy of the Aaron Valdez Collection. See more at Wreck & Salvage and Hard Stars!

BURT REYNOLDS' HOLLYWOOD TALK

Burt Reynolds hangs out with screen legends James Stewart, Ricardo Montalban, Mickey Rooney and Van Johnson.

NETPOCALYPSE!

The year is 2005. Hardened criminals like Judge Reinhold are trying to destroy the internet and only Scott Bakula can stop them.

WORKING OUT WITH CELEBRITIES

THE MOUSEKETEERS ESCAPE TO SPLASH MOUNTAIN

Hello! For my first post as a guest blogger I would love to present "The Mouseketeers Escape to Splash Mountain." 30 Live action Disney TV Specials from the 70's/80's in 30 minutes. All the material was taped off of television and features a ridiculous cavalcade of celebrities, enjoy!

part 1:


part 2:

5 MINUTE LASER MISSION

Starring Ernest Borgnine as the Laser Master!


From the Aaron Valdez Collection at Wreck & Salvage and Hard Stars. You can read more about laser missions here!

FOR THE LOVE OF ROCK BIMBOS

From the Rich Juzwiak Collection at FourFour. Go here to learn more!

DUSTIN DIAMOND TEACHES CHESS, PART 1

This is the first installment from "Dustin Diamond Teaches Chess", a FOUR-HOUR LONG instructional video that is chock full of terrible:



It's only going to get worse. You can thank Sharon Mooney for unleashing this unto the world.

ENTER THE GUEST BLOGGER: AARON VALDEZ

Aaron Valdez is a member of the found footage collective Wreck and Salvage and the curator of Hard Stars, a tumblr archiving the celebrity workouts of yesteryear.

Today he brings us the Sid Caesar's Shape Up and it's all for you! All for you!


You can read more about the Sid Caesar's Shape Up here (with bonus gifs)! Nobody else can do it for you.

THE SUPER BOWL OF LIFE!

Catchphrases are life's greatest motivators.



And for those of you that have forgotten everything about football from the Super Bowl last year, Burt Reynolds will get you up to speed.

CELEBRITY GUIDE TO XMAS!

Because celebrities are always right.

YOUR KID'S ON DRUGS

These kids today with the heavy metal and the psychedelic heroin...

2.5 MINUTE REVENGE OF THE RED BARON

Mickey Rooney is kinda like the Dolph Lundgren of the 1940's.



AND!

The wonderful folks at Wham City are doing a comedy tour and it is coming to Chicago this Sunday, November 14th at 9 PM! And motherfucking EIT! is opening for them! Seriously, this is going to be a night that you will feel with all of your being. Either come to The Hideout (354 W Wabansia St) or miss out on the comedic weirdness of David Bowie, Showbeast, Dan Deacon, Egg Schrader (an actual egg), April Camlin, Tim Allen, the Creepers, and so much more. Buy lots of tickets now! Don't forget to bring those fourth and fifth eyes of yers. Yul need 'em. And if you don't live in Chicago, go to one of these other places and see this show (sadly, EIT! will only be at the Chicago show). Booya!

THE THIRD DIMENSION OF CELEBRITY PRODUCT ENDORSEMENTS!

WHEN A MAN LOVES A SOFTBALL...

Thanks to everyone for coming out to the Hungry Brain last night. And if you weren't there, here's a taste of what you missed. This is easily one of the top five softball instructional tapes by a 90s white soul singer.

THE CELEBRITY GUIDE TO WINE!

We don't have to be afraid of wine anymore! Robert Loggia will talk us through our fears.

THE SUN IS GONE

Corey,
Today is our chance to say thank you for the way you brightened our lives, even though God granted you but half a life. We will all feel cheated always that you were taken from us so young and yet we must learn to be grateful that you came along at all. Only now that you are gone do we truly appreciate what we are now without and we want you to know that life without you is very, very difficult. We have all despaired at our loss over the past 24 hours and only the strength of the message you gave us through your years of giving has afforded us the strength to move forward. We will move forward. For you Corey, we will go on.
Thanks for everything,
EIT (I just don't feel like typing any exclamation points today)



Sorry about the skipping video. It was late. I was upset. And now I can't delete it. I tried, but my hand just couldn't do it. In the end, it is kind of a shitty memorial.

JAY LENO IS A RACIST SEXIST?!

A RECYCLED SONG ABOUT RECYCLING

Let's keep this planet neon pink and green!

EVERYBODY IS SINGING!

WILDLY SPECULATIVE CELEBRITY SEX SECRETS!!!

Humans, by nature, have a basic need for the hottest factually questionable gossip about celebrity genitalia. Who better to tell it than porn stars, prostitutes, one night stands and ex-employees with absolutely nothing to gain from the exposure?

KLASSIC KOMMERCIAL KOLLECTION

Saturday morning Kommercials Kontinue!

GUN SAFETY IS DIFFERENT FOR WOMEN...

... and Major Dad tells us why...

CHARITY AT WORK

Sometimes life gets you down what with all the economic depression, famine, and war. But there is hope, there is Kathie Lee and her big beautiful hair and her big beautiful voice.

TEEN VID: THE MAGAZINE YOU WATCH!

Teens hate to read, but they love celebrities. Thankfully there's Teen Vid so teens can stay up to date on what celebrities are shopping without having to deal with stupid old people words and still pictures.

THE EXCITING NEW WORLD OF DATA ENTRY

Early 80s computers were confusing and scary. Luckily, Steve Allen was there to help you laugh your computer fears away. With a computer, you can do anything from data entry to a slightly different kind of data entry!


Chicago! Don't forget that we will be at the Hungry Brain tonight showing spooooky new videos and the terrifyingly terrible feature, Boarding House! Plus a special bonus puppet show at 8:30 pm! Did we mention it's FREE? All the details HERE!

HANGIN' WITH LEO!

Long before celebrities got their publicity from televised fake dating shows, fitness clubs and fat-offs, the only way Johnny Public could feel close to their favorite stars was for some Bob Woodward-type crack-journalist to assemble a hard-hitting documentary, secretly filmed from the inside of a paper bag and put it out there for the public to gobble up. Here's the inside scoop on our favorite heart-throb Leo "the Lion" Dicaprio.

SERIOUSLY SOME EARLY 90S RAP BLOWS DUDE

Wow, rap sure has been dead a long time.

BECOME CONFUSED WITH OMAR SHARIF

Granted, I know absolutely nothing about cards, but if playing bridge is the only way to spend a week with Omar and his VCR on a gambling yacht, I will learn.

THE (2-MINUTE) SKATEBOARD KID

It's not Dom DeLuise popping an ollie -- but it's close.

SHOW OFF HOW TO BE ANNOYING AND CULTURALLY INSENSITIVE AT PARTIES!

BABY PROOF YOUR HOME WITH DOCTOR DOWNER

Martin Short makes a great straight man.


Stop watching this video and seek medical help immediately.

YOU AND ALAN THICKE NEED TO TALK...

Cartoon parents getting divorced is the worst.

ROGER MOORE SAVES THE WHITE RHINO

TED DANSON READS FROM THE BOOK OF CREEPS

KATHIE LEE IS A CREEP

The head of the reptilian talk show agenda shows you how it's done.

STAND TALL STAND PROUD FRED SAVAGE

If the early 90s taught us one lesson, it is this: When it comes to war, we're not here to justify the cost, or to count up all the loss, that's all been done before. Think less and care more America.

TODAY'S KOJAK HISTORY LESSON

THE APOCALYPSE THAT WASN'T

Too soon?

KIDS ARE STUPID

WHAT IS FILM?

Time travel ain't no thing. You just need the right equipment.

TOMMY SMOTHERS' ULTIMATE YO-YO

Tommy Smothers just didn't know what to do with himself after the Vietnam War ended.

A BUCKET FULL OF TERRIBLE

Man she's zany.

YOUR ALCOHOL IQ!

Actors are the smartest people this country has. That's why Anheuser-Busch got the best actors in the world together to help us become more responsible drinkers.

MAKEOVER MAGIC!

And after...

THE LAW OFFICES OF STING, STING, STING AND STING

I find this very, very funny.

In the past thirty minutes, legions (four) YouTube commenters are telling me they actually like this video, and not for the usual reasons. Am I the only one? Am I getting too old for this shit?

THIS ONE'S JUST FOR THE FELLAS...

Guys,
It's no secret: women love a creep.
Also, that's a young Susie Essman, in case you were wondering. Which I doubt you were.

T LOVES CRISP, CRUNCHY CRUSTS!

Poor Mr. T. How long must you pity fools for money?



More Mr. T here.

FLY JOAQUIN FLY!

ERNIE HUDSON'S POKEMON STRATEGY

To be fair to Ernie Hudson (who is genuinely awesome), he was there with his son, but this was too good to pass up.

THE TEAM OF THE EIGHTIES

I think every NFL team was under contract to produce a rap video in the 80s and we at EIT want to bring you every one of them. Here's one for the team of the Eighties, the San Francisco 49ers.



If you know of any more NFL raps, please let us know in the comments.

There's also this fan made song set to the tune of "We Didn't Start the Fire." Nothing gets me pumped up for football like a series of still images accompanied by a Billy Joel homage.

And of course, here's the Citizen Kane of NFL raps.

LET PATSY, PATRICK AND BAMBI SWAYZE TEACH YOU DANCING

I really cant figure out what this video was trying to accomplish other than to make me fall in love with Bambi Swayze. Nice work, Patsy, real nice work.

ASSHOLES TALK ABOUT LA

WELCOME TO MY MIND

Really, how did I manage to avoid this movie all my life? Emilio Estevez! Renee Russo! Mick Jagger! and Sir Anthony Hopkins! Buster Poindexter! Race car driving! Time Travel! What a turd!



Oh yeah, it takes place in the year 2009.

OOOOOH JAY

Some videos call your name from the shelf. A tiny voice was calling me! "It's me Juice! I'm gonna be OK!"

JUICY JUICE!

THE COIN OF CHANGE

It's agiftable!

BRIAN DENNEHY HATES MIRRORBALLS

ONLY A MIRACLE CAN SAVE THIS GIANT, RAMPAGING APE

HAVEN'T YA HEARD OF DA FOOT BRUSH?

The true agenda of the Silver Foxes revealed:

AND YOU THOUGHT BLAGOJEVICH WAS A BONER!

Gordon Liddy takes a turn for the terrible.

WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE

When a Mentor D.A.R.E. officer makes a rock opera, this is what happens...



And yes, that's Cleveland's own Li'l John popping pills.

BURT KEEPS GETTING OLDER, SHE STAYS THE SAME AGE

Oh Malone.

CREEPS!

A collection of the creepiest creeps that ever creeped.

BLANCHE LOVES SEX AND CATS

Everyone's favorite Golden Girl is crazy for cats!

LEARN HIP HOP DANCE FROM A CROSSDRESSING POWER RANGER!

It was nice of the producers to make the black guy the Black Ranger and the Asian girl the Yellow Ranger. It makes it easier for racists to tell them apart.

Also the Red Ranger (who really should have been Native American for consistency) dances just like Mac from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.