SHOOTIN THEM ROUNDS!

ORACLE ON A BIG BLUE CHAIR!?!?

WILFORD BRIMLEY'S OLE' MOUNTAIN METH RECIPE!

WILFORD BRIMLEY'S OLE' MOUNTAIN METH RECIPE! from Everything Is Terrible! on Vimeo.

For thousands of videos about drugs and other things visit everythingisterrible.com!

TYRANY IN THE USA?!?!

BONGO GROOVES FOR BEGINNERS

A trilogy of Terribleness from LooseMeat.biz!!!

MEMORIES OF BRITNEY!

23 Wolves only plays the hits!

TV TIME MACHINE: 2003

Take as step back in time with us today. The date: January 11, 2003. The place: Chicago, Illinois. The medium: TV.

THE SCHWARZENEGGER STORY

CRYSTAL POWER! SO, UM...

1 MINUTE HOOP SOLDIERS

It's basketball with face punching!

THE WORLD'S MOST ONE-SIDED TALK SHOW

JESUS GOES TO COLLEGE

Courtesy of the Deeper Understanding Collection!

3 MINUTE STEALTH

Jamie Foxx co-stars in his first role following the critically acclaimed "Ray".

YOU'RE GONNA DO A LOT OF DAMAGE

DOWN-HOME HATE SPEECH!

Seriously? Elton John jokes in 2004?

BODY SWAPOCALYPSE

An updated version of the short that played at Everything Is Festival III: The Domination.


Our Holiday Tour starts tonight in Detroit and San Francisco! See ya there!

BULLIES VS MAGICK!

Thanks to Dragon Sound for getting me out of the Fruit Boots and into some Heelys!

MOTHERLOVIN' BAD BOYS

Previously, Mister Falcon and motorscooters.

BULLY BUSTIN'

Always bring a psycho to a bully fight. Thanks to Dan Shelly and Matthew Littlehale for the tapes!

MULTIPLICATION ROCKS!

Drawing on influences like Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath, Rock 'N Learn's newest album shows their darker side. When the 'Multiplication Rocks!' album dropped it was ranked number one on the playground pop chart for 3 times 3 weeks.



Don't forget to check out the doggz at Mayday in Cincinnati tonight at 8pm. IT'S FREE!

WHO ARE WE?

A collection of commercials recorded during tv court shows. Who are we? Now that’s us. And I don’t have to stab my fingertips anymore.



Courtesy of the Aaron Valdez Collection. You can see more at Wreck & Salvage and Hard Stars!

All Dogs Go On Tour! keeps on trucking tonight in Columbia, MO at Ragtag Cinema at 9:45 PM! Buy tickets here!

A GROOVY METAPHOR FOR NONSENSE

From the movie "Logashu"



Special thanks to Odd Obsession. Tickets are on sale now for EIT! in San Francisco! 2/17/12!

CLASS OF 1984, COMMANDO...PTERODACTYL

Just listing off movies that Mark Lester has directed. Some are as good as movies can get, others are Pterodactyl.



Please don't let this stop you from watching Mark Lester's other feature that co-stars Coolio (and a Baldwin).

BEASEL!

Thanks to Dragon Sound for the source!

ADD SPRINKLES, LOSE WEIGHT

But how does it work again?

HIRE THIS DOG

You were seriously going to let a HUMAN hunt for your mold?


On a personal note, I wish I had more to offer on Dog Week than this, but none of my dog tapes panned out. They were filled with useful, factual information, rendering them useless. Sorry, folks.

LELONDIAN DOOMSDAY!

CHAIR DANCING THROUGH THE DECADES!

Guest blogger Rich Juzwiak from FourFour is back with the evolution of chair dancing. Now with more hip hop!


You can learn more about chair dancing here!

We are also proud to be a part of this wonderful weekend at Cinefamily this weekend- MONDO SUPERHERO! Even if you can't make it, maybe this trailer will convince you to move out to LA and walk the streets of Hollywood Blvd dressed as Fin Fang Foom for a buck a photo. (NSFW)

TOMMY NITRO DOJO MOJO

Learn karate from a white guy who learned from a real Asian!



Sensei Nobu may be a black belt karate master, but he can't draw for shit.

Thanks to Guillermo in Tuscon for the tape!

THE RETURN OF REM LEZAR!

No, not that Rem Lezar. Our Rem Lezar! Those in the Bay area may know him from Clean Living for Teens and Black Sundays, or if you've poked around our archives, you might have seen this or this. He's been gone for a long while, and we're excited to have him back!

Today Rem shows us what it takes to be a champion... ...and uncovers the important message of Doubt.

THE ART OF FLAIR

I can appreciate any art form that began in a T.G.I. Friday's.

VIDEOS FROM THE VAULT

Ol' Ghouly has a new video for today but he ran into some technical problems so it won't be up until later tonight. In the meantime, here's some odds and ends from the vault to keep you occupied.

First up, a hard hitting Superbowl question.


My favorite clip from my favorite deceased court show, Eye for an Eye. (The judge was named Extreme Akim and carried a bat instead of a gavel!)


And this is from Japan. Nuff said.

A VERY SPECIAL GUNS N' ROSES FRIDAY

I hope this takes you away... to a special place.



This was made in 2005 by the way.

TRUTH!

Happy new year! Let's kick off 2012 with some Truth!





For more Truth, go to http://conspiracytruth.us/

SEE YA IN HELL!

I hope everybody remembered to restock their Jack Chick catalog. Halloween is the busy season.

WEEKEND KOMMERCIAL KORNER!

This ain't your stupid parents' church.


Hey, kids, you like corndogs? (Courtesy of Eric Seelig)


And here's something for people that only have cellphones because they are shiny.


MIAMI! THE QUEST FOR THE MAGICK CRYSTAL CONTINUES TONIGHT AT COSFORD CINEMA AT 8PM! GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!

3-MINUTE BLACK NINJA

WASHINGTON, DC! THE QUEST FOR THE MAGICK CRYSTAL CONTINUES TONIGHT AT 8PM AT THE SOLLY'S U STREET TAVERN!

AND...BOOM!

SO THAT'S WHY THEY DO THAT!

Can you spot the world's coolest EIT! fan, Olivia in this vid? Neither can we.

TRAINING BY THE SLICE!

Thanks to Kevin Misiuda for the many, many pizza tapes!

HOGWART'S SCHOOL OF EVIL AND DEVIL WORSHIP

I'm beginning to think these Christian production companies just resent anything that children watch/read/play willingly.



Thanks to Conan the Librarian for the source!

INSTANT KARMAGEDDON!

All we are saying is four easy payments of $29.95.

FORBIDDEN SOULMATES

As EIT After Dark draws to a close, here's one last thing you can't unsee. Pleasant wet nightmares!

MORMON MARRIAGE MADNESS

I've always wanted to be a menace to society! Thanks Mormons!

EIT HOLIDAY SPECIAL PART 7: URBAN DUDES FROM WARM CLIMATES WHO INHERIT A RAMBUNCTIOUS DOGSLED TEAM IN ALASKA FROM A RELATIVE WHOM THEY DID NOT KNOW!

Only a few times in a lifetime does one get an opportunity like this. Thank you Santa.

THIS WHITE DRESS SHIRT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE

INTERNATIONAL SMACKDOWN

Ghoul Skool, I'll take your Super Xuxa and raise you one Rajini Kanth, known simply to his legions of fans as SUPERSTAR. Despite his ill-defined chin and lack of dancing ability, this dude is the highest paid actor in India. A fan even set himself on fire out of love for SUPERSTAR!



We love you SUPERSTAR!



To declare your undying love, visit:

http://www.rajinikanth.com/

http://www.rajinifans.com/

HIT BEBE, KIDS!

Finally a video that teaches kids about the abusive relationship between baseball and bat.

HALLOWEEN GREETINGS FROM TERRIBLELAND

Happy Halloween eve everybody! Hope you all have a fun evening of gorging on candy and satanic ritual sacrifice planned- we sure do. Halloween is the time of year when we here at EIT gather together and give thanks for the things that really matter, like the redemption of failed comedians in the afterlife...



...and grindhouse horror trailers. Here are some of my personal favorites:

SEDUCTION 102

So, you've practiced all the moves in Smooching for Dummies but you still can't find a live human being to make out with. Well, once again EIT is here to save the day! Watch this lesson from the Tommy Wiseau school of seduction and you'll be caressing her thighs on satin sheets in no time.

SNOGGING 101

Is your pillow getting damp and clammy at night? Tired of your hand being your only makeout partner?* Then Smooching for Dummies is for you!



*WARNING: Smooching for Dummies does not guarantee that you will find an actual human being to make out with you.

INFOMERCIAL HELL

Big thanks to our new friends over at Funny or Die. Go vote on this video so we don't die!

AIRBRUSHING FOR FUN AND PROFIT

Ok, America, let's rent that kiosk in the mall we've always dreamed about and start selling airbrushed beer cozies to the Chinese. Economic crisis SOLVED.

SENSITIVITY TRAINING FOR COPS

Somebody didn't watch the video...

INFOMERICAL SCIENTISTS HAVE DONE IT AGAIN!

Wish real life looked as good as your TV? Finally there are sunglasses that make things brighter!



And who needs medicine when you can have a vibrator strapped to your head!



Wait, we can still pop pills even with the Headache Stopper, right?

PLUS 1 WAS THE NEW JUMP 5

Just some old footage I shot with my old band.

THE HISTORY OF MATH RAP

Multiplication 'aint nuthin' to fuck with.

I'M NOT CONVINCED...

THE END IS NEAR...

...thank god!

MY MAGICAL SELF IS ELVIN

Lest you Christians out there in Terribleland think we unfairly target your religion, don't worry. Your adversaries are nuts too:



...Actually, that Satanist lady kinda rules.

SOUND ADVICE FROM A CGI LAWN MOWER

I DO, I GUESS...

The perfect wedding is a delightful souffle of denial, ego, and daddy issues. Ladies, if you do not daydream about this exact scenario something is wrong with you.

THEY STILL MAKE 'EM LIKE THEY USED TO

ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR means it's time for eggs!



Finally there's a cross you can hold uncomfortably close to your eyeball!

FOX NEWS LOVES EIT!

Thanks to an anonymous tipster, we learned that the conservative jokers over at Fox News' Red Eye are some of our biggest fans. They love us so much that they never credit us for making the beginning of their show more tolerable. So here's our way of saying thanks for the support:



Here are the links to the full videos: Facercise, Magic Star Traveler, Room Service, Pawn Shop, Mr. T's FlavorWave, Bear Hugs, Hunkercize, Death Drug, Chicks Dig Weirdos, Eliminators, Hawk Jones, Yo Zone, Short Fuse, Before & After, The Art of Meeting Men, Ohhhh Jay, A Man and his Motorcycle, Everybody's on Cocaine.

PEOPLE ARE LIKE TREES...

...in that we poop toxins out of our feet!

THE LAW OFFICES OF STING, STING, STING AND STING

I find this very, very funny.

In the past thirty minutes, legions (four) YouTube commenters are telling me they actually like this video, and not for the usual reasons. Am I the only one? Am I getting too old for this shit?

THE CIRCLE IS COMPLETE

AM Northwest, the morning chat fest from Portland, loves to gab about Jesus sightings, so it's no surprise that they also love to talk about themselves talking about Jesus.



I think they might have missed the point. And I can't give away all my secrets but I'll reveal a hint as to how I got video of them: AM Northwest is a televised program.

So, local news shows, please continue to cover my Jesus video so I can make another video of you covering your own coverage. Thank you.

T LOVES CRISP, CRUNCHY CRUSTS!

Poor Mr. T. How long must you pity fools for money?



More Mr. T here.

AND FINALLY TONIGHT...

Here's the best news coverage of Pareidolia 2008!

FOX NEWS EXCLUSIVE: PUTIN IS NOT A MANLY MAN'S MAN, MAN

Okay, so Fox News is an easy target... whatever...

IF I WERE THIS GROUNDHOG, I'D NEVER SHOW MY FACE AGAIN

Illinois takes Groundhog Day pretty seriously... I think.

MUCH LOVE FOXXI & BAMBI

New York is blessed with the fine show Foxxi & Bambi; here's a sampling.



LADIES SHAKE YOUR COULOS! Check out their awesome Myspace page.

¿ES USTED INCAPAZ?

For more pills that end in max, go to Max Laboratory.

THE COIN OF CHANGE

It's agiftable!

THE FOUR SNOWMEN OF REVELATION

As a Chicago resident and Snowpocalypse survivor, I just want to pay tribute to those who were lost or late to work during the Snowmageddon.

NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL WHITEWASHING!

Finally all your favorite Motown songs performed by white people!

SHAPE UP YOUR FAT FACE

Watching this video on a loop will probably drive you insane.



And who can forget the facial flex?

CBS CARES ABOUT YOUR PROSTATE

And remember, HIV tests make for fabulous Valentine's Day presents. Happy Holidays!

FUTURE SCHLOCK IN EXILE NO MORE!

Ok, we have a new Youtube account and we're working on uploading everything to Vimeo too in case something like this happens again. All the videos should be playable now, with the exception of "The Gay Agenda," which is a troublemaker so it will stay down for now. If you see any broken links we missed, please let us know in the comments and they will be fixed.

Here's an oldie but a goodie, one of the videos that inspired us to get into this crazy game: Click Clack Raps.



Now let us never speak of this ordeal again.

THE BALLAD OF VINCENT

Check out the trailer for the upcoming Vincent documentary at Zweeble Films.

SNUGGIE VS. SLANKET

Until those EIT shirts are readily available, I suggest we look at the exciting new world of shirt-blanket fusion technology.



And then there's The Slanket...so we've got some options.

ARE YOU A TERRIBLE PERSON?

THIS GIVES ME HOPE

So much hope.

THE BEST OF BAD NEWS

Cocaine Jesus


Prayer at the Pump


Molested by Bigfoot


Mad Skillz


Elmo Will Kill You

ONE. COOL. DOG.

1 VHS, 3 GEMS AND AN UNWATCHABLE FEATURE

CHRISTIANS CAN ROCK OUT, TOO...

CASH FLOW GENERATOR

This is old news to the Future Schlock faithful, but until now, there was no other version of this on the innernette.

DROPPING FAKE ACID ON FAKE MTV

A GIFT FOR THE COMMODORE

Chicagoland's own Law Tigers!

HOW'S YOUR BOWELS?

A couple weeks ago, I turned on my television to find this little freak trying to sell me some detox product. Sick. Also, is it just me, or does this guy look like an overcooked John Waters?

IT'S TIME

It had to be done.

FAT KID FROM SLIDERS BEAT BOXING

I wasn't planning three posts, but something terrible was on when I exited the DVR menu. Seemed like a sign.

INTERVIEW OF THE YEAR

Hurdle-curious.

IT'S INFOMERCIAL DAY AT EIT!

Say what you will about the withered souls of infomercial producers, but they sure do know who watches paid programming at 3 am:

stupid people,


girls with low self-esteem (and the creepy men who prefer them that way),



and budding serial killers.


Oh, and, uhm, us.

JESUS, IS DAT YOU?

Hey gang! Let's round up some leis and sheets and reenact the life of our savior!

YOU MUGS...

Looks like this ad is causing quite a stir on the internet...

MATH GETS YOU LAID

It's True. Math gets you the love and affection of second rate pop-stars. Does anyone know the quadratic formula of my boner? Hello!

SOMETIMES THERE'S SO MUCH TERRIBLE IN THE WORLD I FEEL LIKE I CAN'T TAKE IT.

Seriously, this video made me think my heart was caving in. I'm not sure what a nervous breakdown is, but Jump 5 had me on the edge. I don't even know if it is the right kind of Terrible. All I know is that I sat through it and it hurt, so I guess now it is your turn to feel my pain. God damn it, if only I was strong enough to kill myself...

THE TERROR THAT IS "HORROR"

I first saw this movie during a Horror Film Festival in Columbus. It was a fitting venue considering that this movie covers all the sub-genres within the first 30 minutes. More to come...