Thursday, September 16, 2010

PSALTY!



*From the collection of Krazy Davey and Unkle Al!

48 comments :

JESCIE said...

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=gospel+bill&aq=f

bencreateddisco said...

first

bencreateddisco said...

dammit.

Jess said...

Lisa is a young Kristen Schaal.

django747 said...

Probably some of the best editing I've seen you guys do. Made it extra horrifying.

John said...

I guess the only way Jim J. Bullock can get into a church play is by dressing up as a Smurf Bible.

Anonymous said...

I feel like a certain ghostbuster was asked to choose his destruction before this was made.

Luke said...

Good god... those are some whiny ass kids! Then again, I'd be pretty whiny too if I was trapped in the wilderness with a freaky talking blue bible.

Anonymous said...

Is SALTY related to the S.A.L.T. group that Delaware's new Republican Senate Candidate was part of in the '90s?: http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/09/christine-odonnells-1996-anti-masturbation-campaign-on-mtvs-sex-in-the-90s.php

By the way -- I beat off to this video!

Nate said...

A few thoughts that passed through my head as I watched:

Holy shit its THAT DOG!(/guy in a dog suit)

Why are Christian kids such whiny little bitches?

2012 girl is a hotty. Which is really wrong cause im prolly 16 years older than when she filmed that. Nooow, though...

Nate said...

..."I'm too little"
Hair pull/thumb suck I found disturbingly erotic...

Zack said...

Probably the best one ever. Yup.

Anonymous said...

I watched this video every day from the ages of 3-5. It explains so much...

Crystyl Wyzzyrd said...

Brilliant editing on this! Thank you for what you guys do. As a child of Evangelicals, who grew up on this insanity, it does my calloused old disillusioned heart good to see this.

Anonymous said...

holy shit...one of your best and most terrifying creations thus far.

gnatp said...

The "Jesus,Jesus,Jesus" section that is looped a number of times at 0:39 could have been repeated for another hour as far as I am concerned. Hypnotic and awesome.

mcsandwich said...

Totally worth the wait. I had a Psalty Bible as a kid but never saw the show. Man, and I thought the cartoon version of this fucker was creepy.

Anonymous said...

I am gonna go gouge out my eyes now, thanks.

kadgi said...

Perfection. Moments of terrible brilliance.

mitch said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Wanna see the part where Psalty and/or the kids are mauled by a bear!

closedmouth said...

http://www.endlessyoutube.com/watch?v=DEE-q_2Kxso&start=0m39s&end=0m48s

Anonymous said...

If anyone ever asks me what child abuse feels like, I'll just show them this.

Anonymous said...

2:08 to 2:14... um... what is the dog doing with the girl? Sketchy.

Ravenhallow said...

Whiny little bastards.

I'm pretty sure this video could summon either Yog Sothoth or the horrible Angel of the Thousand Hands from the Colby video (or so I hath dubbed it). Awesomely terrifying, thanks for the nightmares.

Christopher said...

I think that what really sells Psalty as a character is his Cesar Romeroian decision to simply dye his 80s helmet hair blue rather then shave his head or wear a bald cap.

Yeah, so I went to Psalty's website to find out what the deal was, and whether he ripped off Barney or vice versa, and this is what I discovered:


How excited would your kids be if Psalty the Singing Songbook showed up at your house at bedtime with the "flying" Incredible Musiquizical Quilt® filled with colorful cartoony stories that help to hide God's Word in their hearts. Not to mention whistle-able songs designed to capture li'l big imaginations that wind kids down into dreamland. It happens! ...everytime you put on a Psalty's Sleepytime Helper®. Is it possible that kids can't wait to get to bed? Hear what others are saying about this timeless series

Mene Tekel said...

Classic. You could remix some of this into some bumping club groove. I'd buy the song on iTunes.

Bryan said...

I totally saw this video as a kid! And it was just as weird and terrifying as your edits make it seem to be. Gotta love conservative Christians.

Anonymous said...

The best i have seen thus far. NEVER GET'S OLD. Thank You!

Anonymous said...

So did Psalty murder all the kids at the end, leaving but one living to write about the carnage in his Epistle of the Wildnerness?

BenB said...

But why is it called Psalty? I mean presumably it has something to do with Psalms.

Ravenhallow said...

@BenB - A Psalter, or Psaltery, is a book of Psalms. I think that's what they were going for, so right on. :D

Anonymous said...

I had a dream that Psalty raped me.

Anonymous said...

I think the weeping child at the end was the sole survivor of the inevitable massacre.

Kyle said...

My childhood was full of cringing, it turns out.

CHACHOwantaFANTA said...

Sweet fancy Moses, I have these videos.

There were more Psalty movies.

The newer ones eschewed the actual human head sticking out of the book in favor of a creepy anthropomorphic cartoon face.

There was a sidekick also. Possibly a rat, possibly a different colored book, I cannot recall.

Also, a big song and dance number in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

I'm going to have to dive into my familys old VHS stash and see if we still have it.

Anonymous said...

I love it how editing has made something cheery into something kinda creepy and in a wrong sense of direction. Were those the Colby kids?

Anonymous said...

1:30 -
Kid A: "I'm tired!'
Kid B: "I'm hungry!"
Kid C: "I'm thirsty!"
Kid D: "I wanna call my mom!"
Psalty: (enraged) "THE LORD WILL PROVIDE!!!" (slaps the children)

Anonymous said...

When I was a child, our church Sabbath school group practiced these songs to sing for a special church service. The day of the performance our director broke the news to us that we weren't going to sing--it was cancelled. How disappointed we were. Must have been some church politics in the background occuring...

Anonymous said...

As someone who lives in Scotland I just have to compliment the amazing Scottish accent on that grasshopper thing. Glasweegian perhaps?

Anonymous said...

Where's the scene that Psalty earns his name in? shooting loads of psalty goodness on the children and making their cups runnith over with the word of the lord?

Anonymous said...

If anyone is wondering what a good example of something "kafkaesque" is, they have it right here.

California State Governor Jerry Brown said...

How the hell did this sh!t win? I call donkey dicks!

Anonymous said...

It won because it is the best video in the history of video.

When you're walkin' with EIT, you're more than able!!

Anonymous said...

HA! My school did this play when I was in elementary. I was the incredibly whiny "what are these little red bumps?" girl. So scary to look back on that. Wow...

Nic said...

Jim Jones the puppet.lol

Anonymous said...

Jesus wept

Anonymous said...

Soooo....did Psalty lead all but one of them to a mass suicide...? Successfully creepy, fellas!