Friday, November 05, 2010

SO YOU WANNA BE A GAMBLER!?

This guy has a totally different slant on how to play slots than the Slot Guru. God damn this guy is cool.

38 comments :

Paddy said...

What do you mean, "you people"?!

Richard Whittall said...

This guy talks to me like my dad. I really connected to his dismissive, patronizing attitude. Now I'm ready to win!

Anonymous said...

I kept wanting to apologize to this guy as he was talking...


wv: pness

Anonymous said...

One of Ruth Norman's lesser known incarnations?

John said...

After the taping he was found hanging in his room, chipless.

Heather said...

He's also an expert on how to play pocket pool, apparently.

I imagine him shooting the breeze at the yacht club with a gaggle of friends' wives, smoking Virginia Slims.

Operator Overload said...

I have a video of this same guy teaching craps! I'll have to put it together for you people.

Anonymous said...

If he's so friggin' smart, why didn't he move closer to Vegas?

Ravenhallow said...

Man, I knew as soon as I saw the "Asshole" tag it was gonna be good. He makes me miss the Slot Guru and his epic 'stache; they both taught me absolutely nothing about a subject on which there is nothing to be learned, but the Guru has a mesmeric retard charm. I really think he's my favourite recurring EIT character ('cept maybe the Almighty Duane).. there's a kid that comes into my comic shop that I have dubbed Gambling Guru Jr., as he sports the same mustache and retard charm.

...Now that I've gotten way off-topic.. THIS GUY IS A JERK.

Voracious_Boot said...

I find his condescension similar to that of a curmudgeonly old grandfather who's trying to tell you you aren't as good as he was when he was your age. Dreamer.

@Anon 9:07 - Vegas? No. Jersey accent = Atlantic City

(og) Nate said...

Step 1: Insert coin
Step 2: Pull arm/push button
Step 3: repeat

WHat the hell are the other 59 minutes filled with?

(og) Nate said...

also I know this jerk's name but not Lottery Gurus?

what a shame. If I did, I would order every one of his VHS tapes and send them to EIT after watching.

Then go to Vegas and WIN!!!!!!

Greg said...

I wish I would have listened to you.

Anonymous said...

While I don't claim to know this guy, I get the feeling that he probably smacks his kids around.

Anonymous said...

I already saw this video on Efukt.

Luke said...

"in 60 years you will crawl over to me and thank me"... So I guess he wants us to thank his lifeless corpse since in 60 years he will be around 120???

Destination A Go-Go said...

....but only if it's raining out.

brimcp19 said...

And I thought my grandfather was the most condescending human being on the face of the planet!

Pudding said...

It is rare that I watch someone in an instructional video and think, "This guy has got things in perspective."

And yet... this guy. He's got his life -- nay, the UNIVERSE -- in perfect focus. He is a man fully aware of the pathetic role he plays, and of the target audience he speaks to. He is the old toothless man at the bar talking down to the beerbong co-eds who will one day be a less witty version of him.

He is a warning, and an icon, and a living diorama of a life lived unwisely, and his only remaining option for self-respect is to force others to experience his shame as their own.

I am in awe of this man. Dare I say, the DUANE of instructional gambling tapes??

Anonymous said...

Anyone wanna bet how many wives he has had?

J.R. Herbaugh said...

This is how you deal with people who buy a tape on how to be a professional gambler.

Anonymous said...

Now I just want to know what he was trying to teach me.

Kit O'Connell said...

DREAMERS!

Marty said...

word verification:

sur lout

'Nuff said.

Anonymous said...

I am unable to tell the difference between a $1 slot machine and a $5 one... HELP!

stump said...

Walk up to a random stranger at Mohegan Sun with a video camera and a dream and this is what you get.

Anonymous said...

was the song at the beginning real? I loved it.

Monkey Lee said...

the best part is when he says not to look down on other players.

Anonymous said...

he's pimpin the hoes.

The Eagle's Tears said...

@Operator Overload: Not that we'll pay any attention to it if you do share it. (in keeping with his dismissive attitude toward his target audience of rubes)

Chris said...

Driving 6 hours to and from work is the life?

Sounds like a shit life to me!

WV: consindi

product said...

i don't have enough coins.i guess ill just focus on the penny slots

Roney Wilson said...

These are actually wonderful some ideas in the blog. You have touched good quality points here. In whatever way continue writing.gambling addiction

Roney Wilson said...

Good blog along with the excellent quality stuff and I’m sure this will be greatly helpful.full coverage car rental insurance

Mickey James said...

You fully match our expectation and the selection of our data.cash advance lenders

Dr.Jones Methews said...

I have checked this link this is really important for the people to get benefit from. can new yorkers still get payday loans

sirking said...

I have read your blog it is very helpful for me. I want to say thanks to you. I have bookmark your site for future updates.
Bet On Sports

Global Maket said...

It was wondering if I could use this write-up on my other website, I will link it back to your website though.Great Thanks.
เว็บแทงบอลไทย