Man, I knew as soon as I saw the "Asshole" tag it was gonna be good. He makes me miss the Slot Guru and his epic 'stache; they both taught me absolutely nothing about a subject on which there is nothing to be learned, but the Guru has a mesmeric retard charm. I really think he's my favourite recurring EIT character ('cept maybe the Almighty Duane).. there's a kid that comes into my comic shop that I have dubbed Gambling Guru Jr., as he sports the same mustache and retard charm.
...Now that I've gotten way off-topic.. THIS GUY IS A JERK.
I find his condescension similar to that of a curmudgeonly old grandfather who's trying to tell you you aren't as good as he was when he was your age. Dreamer.
@Anon 9:07 - Vegas? No. Jersey accent = Atlantic City
It is rare that I watch someone in an instructional video and think, "This guy has got things in perspective."
And yet... this guy. He's got his life -- nay, the UNIVERSE -- in perfect focus. He is a man fully aware of the pathetic role he plays, and of the target audience he speaks to. He is the old toothless man at the bar talking down to the beerbong co-eds who will one day be a less witty version of him.
He is a warning, and an icon, and a living diorama of a life lived unwisely, and his only remaining option for self-respect is to force others to experience his shame as their own.
I am in awe of this man. Dare I say, the DUANE of instructional gambling tapes??
@Operator Overload: Not that we'll pay any attention to it if you do share it. (in keeping with his dismissive attitude toward his target audience of rubes)
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39 comments :
What do you mean, "you people"?!
This guy talks to me like my dad. I really connected to his dismissive, patronizing attitude. Now I'm ready to win!
I kept wanting to apologize to this guy as he was talking...
wv: pness
One of Ruth Norman's lesser known incarnations?
After the taping he was found hanging in his room, chipless.
He's also an expert on how to play pocket pool, apparently.
I imagine him shooting the breeze at the yacht club with a gaggle of friends' wives, smoking Virginia Slims.
I have a video of this same guy teaching craps! I'll have to put it together for you people.
If he's so friggin' smart, why didn't he move closer to Vegas?
Man, I knew as soon as I saw the "Asshole" tag it was gonna be good. He makes me miss the Slot Guru and his epic 'stache; they both taught me absolutely nothing about a subject on which there is nothing to be learned, but the Guru has a mesmeric retard charm. I really think he's my favourite recurring EIT character ('cept maybe the Almighty Duane).. there's a kid that comes into my comic shop that I have dubbed Gambling Guru Jr., as he sports the same mustache and retard charm.
...Now that I've gotten way off-topic.. THIS GUY IS A JERK.
I find his condescension similar to that of a curmudgeonly old grandfather who's trying to tell you you aren't as good as he was when he was your age. Dreamer.
@Anon 9:07 - Vegas? No. Jersey accent = Atlantic City
Step 1: Insert coin
Step 2: Pull arm/push button
Step 3: repeat
WHat the hell are the other 59 minutes filled with?
also I know this jerk's name but not Lottery Gurus?
what a shame. If I did, I would order every one of his VHS tapes and send them to EIT after watching.
Then go to Vegas and WIN!!!!!!
I wish I would have listened to you.
While I don't claim to know this guy, I get the feeling that he probably smacks his kids around.
I already saw this video on Efukt.
"in 60 years you will crawl over to me and thank me"... So I guess he wants us to thank his lifeless corpse since in 60 years he will be around 120???
....but only if it's raining out.
And I thought my grandfather was the most condescending human being on the face of the planet!
It is rare that I watch someone in an instructional video and think, "This guy has got things in perspective."
And yet... this guy. He's got his life -- nay, the UNIVERSE -- in perfect focus. He is a man fully aware of the pathetic role he plays, and of the target audience he speaks to. He is the old toothless man at the bar talking down to the beerbong co-eds who will one day be a less witty version of him.
He is a warning, and an icon, and a living diorama of a life lived unwisely, and his only remaining option for self-respect is to force others to experience his shame as their own.
I am in awe of this man. Dare I say, the DUANE of instructional gambling tapes??
Anyone wanna bet how many wives he has had?
This is how you deal with people who buy a tape on how to be a professional gambler.
Now I just want to know what he was trying to teach me.
DREAMERS!
word verification:
sur lout
'Nuff said.
I am unable to tell the difference between a $1 slot machine and a $5 one... HELP!
Walk up to a random stranger at Mohegan Sun with a video camera and a dream and this is what you get.
was the song at the beginning real? I loved it.
the best part is when he says not to look down on other players.
he's pimpin the hoes.
@Operator Overload: Not that we'll pay any attention to it if you do share it. (in keeping with his dismissive attitude toward his target audience of rubes)
Driving 6 hours to and from work is the life?
Sounds like a shit life to me!
WV: consindi
i don't have enough coins.i guess ill just focus on the penny slots
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