Thursday, December 31, 2009

HAPPY NEW YEARPOCALYPSE!

Can you believe it's been ten years since the world ended?





Stay safe out in that wasteland, Terribleteers!

R.I.P. 2009: YONDER VITTLES!

Have a safe and stranger-free New Year!



Wishes of joy and happiness in 2010!



Here's to honesty and integrity in the 20-teens!



To self-discovery!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

R.I.P. 2009: AIRWAVE RANGER!

What about our friends?


Or these classy dudes?


My best friend and soul mate.


I think we all learned a lot from this one:


And my favorite crazy of all.

GHOUL SKOOL IS DEAD

These are the ones I liked!









I cannot be blamed for this...



And let's not forget the one that Duane'd us all...

R.I.P. 2009: COMMODORE GILGAMESH!

I liked these ones:




I didn't like these ones:


Tuesday, December 29, 2009

CHRISTMAS IS OVER!

Thank god.

And thanks to everyone who came out to the Hungry Brain last night, especially to our musical guest Al Scorch. No thanks to that Terrible bastard TerribleClaus, who nearly ruined an otherwise pleasant evening.




Oh, what a night! See you at the Hungry Brain in February.

R.I.P. 2009: FUTURE SCHLOCK

2009 was a big year for me. I learned how to improve my psychic abilities,



how not to racially profile people,



and that diabetes is chocolate's way of telling me it loves me.



This next video is just a tragedy. It could have been one of my best videos ever, but a technical glitch caused some flash frames that ruined it. It makes me cringe every time...



oh, and ps....



Also, don't forget to leave your favorites in the comments!

Monday, December 28, 2009

R.I.P. 2009: DEFENESTRATOR III

Alright, Christmas is over, New Years is coming up, and frankly, we don't want to do anymore work this year. So this week we are going to be taking a look back at our favorite videos from the past year. These are the funny internet videos that we will remember fondly for the rest of our lives.











And as a special treat, here's the worst video I posted this year: Engine Eddie



Please vote for your favorite videos from the past year in the comments throughout the week and we'll make a complete top ten list at the end of the week!

Friday, December 25, 2009

EIT HOLIDAY SPECIAL PART 10: THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS!

It's finally Christmas! On this special day, it's important to gather with family and friends and celebrate the true meaning of this consumerist perversion of an arbitrary date chosen to coincide with the winter solstice. Merry Christmas, everybody!

HULK HOGAN SAVES CHRISTMAS

As a very special holiday treat, EIT presents our version of the Terrible classic "Santa with Muscles"! Hulk Hogan stars as an amnesiac millionaire bodybuilder who, through the magic of Christmas, becomes a crime fighting Santa Claus and saves a gang of adorable orphans from the clutches of Ed Begley Jr. and his karate fighting doctor!



Christmas wishes really do come true!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

EIT HOLIDAY SPECIAL PART 9: HANUKKAH!

You didn't think we forgot the coolest holiday of all, did you?

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

EIT HOLIDAY SPECIAL PART 3: TREES!

Turn your Christmas tree into a gay icon!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

EIT HOLIDAY SPECIAL PART 1: THE INTRO!



This is just part uno of EIT's world famous 'Holiday Special.' Wanna see more? Then get ready folks, because we're offering a FREE Holiday Special DVD to the next 100 people who order EIT:The Movie!!! Do you understand what's happening?!

$15 DVDS ($17 OUTSIDE US/CANADA) THROUGH JANUARY PLUS A FREE HOLIDAY MIX FOR THE FIRST 100 CUSTOMERS!!!!



Oh yes, and we are FINALLY getting our new shipment of DVD's this week, so we will be shipping back orders SOON. We really are very sorry.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Friday, December 11, 2009

MAKE SOME SERIOUS MONEY

Some real talk about money this holiday buying season from the EIT family to your family.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

SPIDER-MAN VOTES!

If your only incentive to participate in civic life is "Spider-Man told me to," you've got bigger problems than who's running for county commissioner this year.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

MUST SEE EIT ON CBS

Our good friend Maryjean Ballner has informed us that she will be appearing on The Late Show with David Letterman tonight. Who knows... Maybe she'll do a duet with Rob Thomas. A boy can dream, can't he?

Congratulations, Maryjean! We'll be watching...

UPDATE: Now with video!

EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE! FOR KIDS! WITH POOP JOKES!

I think EIT has really messed with me over the last two years. This is what I've turned into: a guy who edits down totally legit videos about poop.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

NEW YORK SCREENING OF THE EIT HOLIDAY SPECIAL!

Hey New York EIT fans! Come celebrate the holidays with an evening of satanic gypsy rock music by our friends Lavalier and Jeremiah Cymerman and I'll be on hand for a special screening of our recently premiered Holiday Special this Thursday at Zebulon in Williamsburg. It's gonna be an all out celebration of our worst holiday cuts, you will not be disappointed.
Best of all it's FREE! FREE! FREE!

Thursday, Dec. 10 9:00-11:00PM
Zebulon
258 Wythe Avenue, between North 3rd/Metropolitan

http://www.myspace.com/lavaliermusic

http://www.jeremiahcymerman.com

POCKET MONSTERS ARE REALLY POCKET DEMONS...

It's only a matter of time before the children of Japan use their Satanic cuddly critter-fueled powers to destroy us all.


Thanks to 23 Wolves for the tape!

Monday, December 07, 2009

Friday, December 04, 2009

MILK IS SWEET, BRO!!!

I was all "fuck milk, that stuff's for losers", but this video really showed me the error of my ways. Milk is what makes Joey Lawrence so dreamy.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

CHARITY AT WORK

Sometimes life gets you down what with all the economic depression, famine, and war. But there is hope, there is Kathie Lee and her big beautiful hair and her big beautiful voice.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

SEX APPEAL CIRCA 1992

The year was 1992. The hair was long and sweaty. The roses were flying. The equipment was B.U.M. It belonged to Billy Ray.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

EIT WANTS THAT GUMMY!

A few weeks ago, we found out our video, Stranger Danger, was nominated for a Gummy Award by the good people at Stereogum and Videogum. While we didn't start EIT to win awards (we did it for the money), we are going to do everything we can to win. So here's a classy, prestige trailer that should win over any undecideds that have yet to vote for us multiple times.



Now that you've seen how amazing our video is, let's talk about how awful the other nominees are. Just look at the FACTS!

Kittens Inspired By Kittens - A cute little girl AND kittens? This is such obvious Gummy bait.
Gathering Of The Juggalos Infomercial - We all know ICP is going to win all the music categories anyway, so let's spread the wealth, motherfackoos.
Best Guy Ever, Singing & Smoking In The Shower - Sure, this guy SAYS he's drunk, but where's the proof?
Pumpkin Head Dance - Wake up, America! The local news is just using Pumpkin Head Dances to lure you into watching human interest stories about lifestyle coaches.
The Breakfast Song - If there is no breakfast in heaven, then heaven does not exist.
Bangs: Take U 2 Da Movies - Bangs CLAIMS he wants to take U 2 da movies, but has anyone ACTUALLY been taken 2 da movies by Bangs? No.
Between Two Ferns With Charlize Theron
- Being an Oscar winner isn't enough for you, Charlize Theron? Don't let these Hollywood celebrities come into our internet and steal our hard-blogged awards.
Ultimate Muscle Roller Legend - This video completely glosses over how dangerous it is to use your lover as a vehicle in high speed chases. Also, kids, I know they are really popular now but you should really think about how your baby face crotch laser is going to look when you're sixty.
JK Wedding Dance - FAKE! Totally fake.
California Woman At Assembly - This video is from 2008 which was months ago. It is completely out of touch with the internet of today.
Cleveland Tourism Video - What this tourism video fails to tell you is the REAL reason they want you to visit: so they can burglarize your home while you are in Cleveland.
Keyboard Cat - Keyboard "Cat" is REALLY a dog...and he's a racist!
Business Card Guy Teaches Us How To Pack - 20 MINUTES LONG!?! Nice try, grandpa.
Costume Shop Lady Hijacks Local News Interview - Do you really want to give an internet award to a DERANGED CRIMINAL charged with cyberstalking? That's Stranger Danger 101, people.
Microsoft Songsmith Commercial - It might seem like fun to ironically give an award to Microsoft and tell them how "cool" their "viral" video was, but deep down Microsoft will know you're making fun of it. It's not funny; it's just mean.
The Shake Weight - I don't get this one.
Winkers - This video has absolutely nothing to offer the flat-assed voting demographic.
Kids Play Folsom Prison Blues The Darndest Things - Rewarding this little girl is just going to push her parents to teach her harder country songs about more violent murders.
Keenan, The Lip-Sync Kid - This kid is ACTUALLY singing. FAKE!

As you can see from this list of character assassinations, Stranger Danger is clearly the most qualified and deserving nominee. If you are still not convinced, read all of this again and remember, there is only one nominated video that actively prevents alien child molestation. You don't want to ENCOURAGE alien child molestation, do you?

Go here to make the right choice for Stranger Danger. While you're there, feel free to put us down for Best Movie and Best New Act, too, what the hell. Voting ends Wednesday at 6PM EST. It's down to the wire so we need everybody to vote, change computers, shave your beard into a mustache, and then vote again. LET'S SAVE THOSE KIDS!

CG PRESENTS FURRY TUESDAYS!

It seems that my backlog of furry videos has gotten too great. So, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the first and possibly the last installment of Furry Tuesdays! We'll call it practice for Furry Week. Enjoy, perverts!





*These videos come just as they were found in nature, unedited by the hand of EIT.
**Thanks to 9th St. Video in Columbia, MO.