Tuesday, October 20, 2009

SEDUCTION 102

So, you've practiced all the moves in Smooching for Dummies but you still can't find a live human being to make out with. Well, once again EIT is here to save the day! Watch this lesson from the Tommy Wiseau school of seduction and you'll be caressing her thighs on satin sheets in no time.

29 comments :

Alex said...

"Oh hi!"

Anonymous said...

So basically take her back to your apartment on the first date, but make sure she knows nothing about you and that you're standing in front of the blinds like some kind of creepy segment on "Unsolved Mysteries."

Toon said...

Don't forget the candles and the bottles of wine.

marahe said...

"I'm Ki... Lisa..."
Nice try, Joe. Make sure you get her real phone number.

marahe said...

Also - a FEW bottles of wine? The secrets to this seduction are apparently getting your date shitfaced.

negrofrankenstein said...

This is a recipe for winding up in the "friend zone". But even if it were to work, it means you have to be playing the part of something you're not so the princess will be with you. So in other words, the girl like the candles and wine and fancy words you give her. A fantasy.

What ever happened to being yourself. If she doesn't like you for what you are isn't she rather shallow?

Jay said...

Considering you take her back to your apartment with a "few" bottles of wine, you're not destined for the friendzone.

You're headed straight for the rape zone.

Anonymous said...

How do I pause the video? I'm trying to write down all the helpful tips!

Heather said...

I'd love to see this video told from the perspective of the woman seducing the man. "Be sure to expose as much cleavage as possible." "Don't bother to tell him your name; it really doesn't matter and he doesn't care anyway, especially if you've followed the cleavage rule." "Don't forget to head back to your place for pizza and several beers on the couch. Remember not to talk too much, especially if you're watching a football game. Just nod and smile." I am the Mistress of Seduction.

Destination A Go-Go said...

Oh EIT....

"You are my rose, you are my rose"


see ya in NY.

deadlytoque said...

"It works in any situation! If she's sitting on the beach: 'Hi, you're the most beautiful...'; OR if she's WALKING on the beach!"

Anonymous said...

I dont get it. Usually on this site the videos are humorous, etc. But this video has some good information in it, and nothing funny/weird. What's the deal.

BuckWheat said...

Sex is not important? What the hell did I buy all these rufies for?

Fat 'n Boring said...

What's wrong with getting it on in filth? Uppity biznitch.

Anonymous said...

I don't like Stacy's attitude one bit! How do you think she spells her name: Stacie, Stacey, Staciy, Staecie, Staycey?

Anonymous said...

Stacy's pupils look really constricted

Marnie Brumder said...

Probably Staci - with a f*cking heart in the place of the dot in the "i."

Ms Avery said...

Wait, you can use white OR red wine? Wow, seduction is much easier than I thought!

Anonymous said...

Man, this one was so bad I couldn't even finish it. 'Lavish attention on her' indeed.

therandomizer said...

Be mysterious. Place pictures of women with the eyes cut out throughout your apartment. I love that, be mysterious because once she learns you work at the DMV, she's not going to fuck you.

Wowsers said...

Women are generally attracted to men who are attracted to them.

Fact.

Anonymous said...

Stacey's eyes are really pretty actually

Anonymous said...

2:55 it sounds like she was going to say a different name.

Anonymous said...

Rape tactics 101

TVarmy said...

I tried to appear mysterious by standing outside the window of the cute girl from Acct 101, but then she started hiding behind her bed and I think she might have a gun.

I want to appear mysterious, but I'm scared that she might call the police or something if I stay. I think I might try vacuum kissing window to see if that's a turn-on or not. If it works, she might drop the revolver and quit reaching for her phone.

Wish me luck, EIT!

Anonymous said...

So, if I lie down on the beach and dry hump the sand, she'll be attracted to me?

Evan Waters said...

"Max, I'm so glad you came to me..."

(I'm not the only one who got that from the opening, right?)

Anonymous said...

This is the kind of crap that brainwashes women into thinking they deserve everything just because they're a woman. A girl just has to look hot and be willing, men have to bust their hump to please her shallow self- that's the message conveyed here. I love the bottles of wine Captain Mystery has ready for her. Maybe she doesn't even need to be willing after all!

Cole D'Arc said...

hey come on. whenever i tell a girl i think she's got a great rack i'm being COMPLETELY sincere.