Friday, October 09, 2009

YOU AND GOD MAKE A CUTE COUPLE

Why date a stupid teenager when you can date God?

55 comments :

marahe said...

the only reason it's ok for any of the people in this video to wear the hairstyles or clothes they're sporting is because they ONLY have to worry about whether god likes them - not if they can get dates. because ol' spots cut into hair or yellow glasses could not get dates. hopefully.

Desuko. said...

Exactly how is God different from a stupid teenager anyway?

John said...

Well, I don't know about anyone else but that had the most God porn I've ever seen. Frankly, I'm a lil turned on.

Army of birds said...

After God blasted me with his love, it took a while to wipe off.

Anonymous said...

Kinda creepy to learn that God is going around dating underaged kids. I mean he's like old...really old.

Fat 'n Boring said...

Since when did Erik Estrada start hosting Christian teen dating shows?

Anonymous said...

As a former Christian, the dude with the tall black hair talking about God "blasting" Adam with his lover is factually incorrect. Even though The Bible is complete bull, at least have the decency not to lie about what's inside. Read me the passage where God blasted Adam with anything. Also, where did Cain get his wife from?

Sean said...

So what they're saying is that God is not only a player, but a bisexual player?

That crazy God! Romantically loving men and women at the same time.

Destination A Go-Go said...

"Love Blasters" by NERF


....I love this idea.
Or maybe I just had some pizza or something.

Anonymous said...

I think I gave that guy in the shades a blow job last week.

YourPrivateArea said...

im still a little sore after that last blasting. god i hope u dont mind if we take a little break.

Anonymous said...

Does God satisfy me sexually?
I don't know if I want to wait a year to find out.

Anonymous said...

I dated God once, but he cheated on my ass. Now that I know who he was with I can have some closure.

Moral Orel said...

Tried the whole dating God thing for a couple of weeks, but come on! God never payed for anything!

analogassailant said...

We need to throw a bunch of science at this to understand how do people end up so fucking insane.

Craig said...

i bet they cant wait for the cumming of the lord

haaa

His Sinfulness said...

I gave myself to god, and now he never calls...

James Wayborhood said...

maybe i should date god, apparently he's HUGE

Anonymous said...

this video made me gay for god.

Butchie said...

I just ejaculated from watching this video. True story.

Anonymous said...

I sometimes feel like God blasted us all in the butt before he left with that benevolent smile of his.

Anonymous said...

is god's love blast sticky?

Anonymous said...

God and I were fine while we dated, but then I wanted to see other deities and He got all stalkerish on me, so I got a restaining order and am currently seeing Satan.

Anonymous said...

there is so much blasting going on here it's really making me reconsider my marriage.

Walking Deadman said...

Let God blast you......

Hey if you like being hit by lightning, so be it......

Adam said...

I'd totally let god finger blast me.

I Love Baby Quilts! said...

"Every year I felt like God was asking me to recommit to him for another year."

How old does the host want them to be before they start dating humans??? The guy saying the above quote needs as much time as possible to find mates. Lay off of those poor, trusting kids!!!

Dennis said...

If we refer to God as He...and there are a bunch of guys on this video saying that they dated God...that would make both them AND God gay, right? Wow, that would make the "religious" conservatives' heads freaking EXPLODE, haha!

Anonymous said...

I'm more interested in the body of Christ, thanks though!

therandomizer said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cricri said...

Only in the stupid USA.

Anonymous said...

Hey I want to be in "God"s harem sign me up

Digeridude said...

So if I dated God, and God is Jesus, but Jesus is the son of God...then I'm Jesus' dad and also his lover, while also being his father's spouse, meaning I'm Jesus' mother, which makes me Mary, and thus I'm a virgin, in which case I couldn't have dated God at all 'cause he's rough in the sack.

Anonymous said...

And then God blasted Adam with his love - HA HA HA

Anonymous said...

I blasted god with my love in public and now I can't get within 200 meters of a school or playground :(

Ken Nash said...

I dated God. And he cheated on me. The bastard.

Anonymous said...

Is that Glenn Beck at the start?! Seriously, is it?

scamps said...

I heard that God holds an account on AshleyMadison.com. What a whore.

Anonymous said...

I think it would be intimidating to date God. It would be all:
God: "What did you do today?"
Me: "I walked the dog, finished up a project at work, made a salad. How about you?"
God: "I oversaw every event in the infinite universe."
Me: "Um..."

Anonymous said...

God better get home and do my fuckin laundry. AND IF DINNER ISN"T WAITING FOR ME.. WHY I OUUTTAAA.

Gizzmonic said...

When I was in college, I had a one-night stand with this girl, then she brushed me off by saying she wanted to "date God" for awhile.

Now I understand...I guess she watched this video when she was a kid!

Kyle said...

Hey, the fat kid who can only score dates with God is wearing a Bleach t-shirt.

...tell me I'm not the only person who knows who that is/was.

Anonymous said...

I want God to blast me with his love.
All over my face.

spitlord said...

What I always wondered was why, when they were all cast out of the garden, was there already a huge society?

Raymond said...

God is a homewrecker

MM said...

I am a criticall christian, and I love this site here, but this Vid is ok, it shows also my life with christ.

go one... make fun of me.

MW said...

It's "Adam and God" not "Adam and Eve"! Go back to your lives of sin, you anthrosexuals!

Anonymous said...

I heard God has a great set of tits, I'd date him

Anonymous said...

also, I guarantee you every single one of those male teenagers masturbates constantly

Reginald said...

I dated God once and it was terrible.

All he talked about was how great he was and how he was dating this over guy.

I dumped his ass right then and there/

Evan said...

please tell us where you got the footage for the first few seconds with the Glenn Beck-looking guy. The world really needs to see that in full.

Anonymous said...

i'm soooo sick of god asking me to let him blast his love all over my tits.
and then after he does it he's always like, "hey it looks like a toaster strudel. haha." what a prick.

Anonymous said...

When I was in college I tried pursuing a girl who was of the attitude of this video. It was the most frustrating, Sisyphean endeavor of my college days.

Ryan R. said...

I cannot even begin to tell you how much I fucking hate Gen-X Christians. Those twats that are now in their extreme late 20s up to their mid 30s put me through more of this kind of shit than I care to even remember. All the stupid bands (audio adrenaline, carmen), all the stupid "human videos", all the stupid sermons that tried really hard to relate two completely unrelated topics to make it relevant to "hip sega-genesis playing teens for Christ!" just make me want to puke.

A lot of what is going on in these suburban churches today had its roots in what we see in this and the Jehovah's Park videos. Those bastards.

Anonymous said...

5 seconds into this clip i could tell it was going to be Christian cornball ... OK worshiping a God makes sense for the religious type ... but dating God??