Thursday, October 29, 2009

GOOD FOR YOUR HEART, GOOD FOR YOUR PENIS

Today's hunk of junk is actually a bit serious, and is something Commodore Gilgamesh deals with every day of his life. From our EIT travels around the country, I am now positive that our audience consists of attractive, white males in their late 50's, with massive penis problems. It's honestly all they talk about! I also know that the teeny-tiny percent of women readers are here only to find new and erotic ways to entice their man after a hard days work. Well today's your lucky day!

Oh yeah, this is probably NSFYB (Not Safe For Yer Boner!)



And just in case any of you are having megabyte hard drive problems with your cyber-netting stuff, check out the video HERE.

35 comments :

Daniel said...

Dear god.... this is just.... cock.....

marahe said...

jeff stryker, jesus christ.

Mat The W said...

Jeff Stryker; the original Vince

Anonymous said...

Damn, think you could keep the porno stuff after the cut?

Meghan said...

Thank you guys. So much. For this.

Meechree said...

cock, cock, cock

John said...

New and unexplored? Something tells me those crevasses were explored decades ago.

Anonymous said...

Wow, that dude really needed a flashlight to investigate his wife's incredibly obvious boob job?

Anonymous said...

and I can just…pump my cock….

Destination A Go-Go said...

.....that was the perfect time to drop the old "Ghoul Tool" joke.

Marnie Brumder said...

Probably just about the worst thing ever.
I am at a loss for words, except of course, "cock."

WV: deeangle, no lie!

Fat 'n Boring said...

"I just wanna suck my cock in that tube. Ooooh.."

I laughed so hard I think I busted a capillary. Or two.

Brian O'Mara-Croft said...

Now, when you say, "massive penis problems", does this refer to problems with a penis that are massive, or problems with a massive penis?

ballet said...

I will never have an erection again after watching this.

Anonymous said...

Is it wrong that I fapped to this video?

Ryan said...

Man, that is just beyond the pale. Why did he have to get so damn sexual with the penis pump??

Keith said...

this is one of the few times where you guys have found something that genuinely unsettles me

Creeto said...

It seems like the thing with the mouthwash would sting.

Pip Harper said...

I love that Jeff Stryker became so used to starring in gay porn he couldn't even help but elude to "I want to suck my cock... in this tube."

Where is Jeff Stryker currently? Complaining about his noisy, folk-music-loving neighbors.

http://tinyurl.com/ydaev3s

Ned said...

Jeepers, he almost said, "YOUR hole"!! Thank Goodness he didn't say YOUR hole!
(Plus, I'm encouraged to see a man who isn't ashamed of his tiny flashlight.)

Anonymous said...

This site is finally interesting!

therandomizer said...

I was eating a sandwich when I watched this!

CryptoGay said...

i wish i could say something clever, but all i can think of is "uggghhh, bleahhh...hurk! baaaaarrrffffff."

Shelley said...

WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN...

Digeridude said...

I was eating a HOT DOG when I watched this!

*HOOOOORK*

scamps said...

Nice job covering up the boob job scars, makeup artist.

owl said...

wow. congrats on making me feel uncomfrotable again. I feel like a ETIT virgin!

Psychopath said...

Holly shit for a second it looked look a naked John Cleese was trying to choke a bitch.

Anna said...

I heard James Franco is going to do a dramatic re-enactment of Jeff Stryker's performance in this.

Ancient Flounder said...

Thanks, Jeff; I'm sufficiently creeped out.

Anonymous said...

This is still one of my favorite videos of all time. The editing is Emmy-worthy.

Cock.

Matthew said...

Glad to see I'm not the only one who likes to suck up my cack.

Anonymous said...

Oh my god, I laughed for 5 min straight while watching this video, and then laughed for another 5 min at the comments! This video was AMAZING, and Jeff Stryker deserves an Oscar for his roll. It was Brilliant!

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Anonymous said...

I think all the cock swelling killed this video. :\