Monday, June 29, 2009

POOL PARTY!!!!!!!

When there's no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the Earth, dispensing safety tips.

TED DANSON READS FROM THE BOOK OF CREEPS

Friday, June 26, 2009

POKEMON IS BIG AND MEAN FOR THE BOYS


You are right, kid. These things will be worth something in a few years.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

XTREME TIMES CALL FOR XTREME PHILOSOPHIES

"Stephen Baldwin stars as U.S. Customs agent Cooper in this thrill-a-minute ride in the tradition of Point Break, Terminal Velocity, and Drop Zone."

I was going to make this a 3-minute version of "Cutaway", but after I "cutaway" all the skydiving montages, there was only 2 and a half minutes left...

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

EVERYTHING IS BOLLOCKS

We like to have a good laugh at America's expense here at EIT, but did you know that the UK is Terrible too? Yes, British people like to act superior to their colonial cousins, but thanks to video wizards Eagle & Feather and their KIPPLE DVDs, we know that that's just bollocks.





SEE MORE KIPPLE. BUY SOME KIPPLE.

Monday, June 22, 2009

EIT SELLS OUT!







A big, big thank you to everybody that came out on Saturday to see the premiere of Everything is Terrible: the Movie! We could not have asked for a more enthusiastic and supportive crowd. This was the first time we got to experience the Terrible with a live audience and it was a real treat.

Congratulations to happysquid on her new title of Keeper of the Terrible and her bounty of Jerry Maguire tapes. Although she could not accept all 100 on Saturday, she has been enrolled in the Maguire of the Month Club which will bring a new used VHS copy of Jerry Maguire to her home every month.

Also sincere apologies to any persons that were hit by flying VHS tapes (thanks for not holding a grudge, xpoint). We will try to keep all head injuries internal for future performances.

We would also like to express our gratitude to the staff of the Silent Movie Theatre and the Cinefamily for their hard work and for allowing us to perform our cult ritual in their lovely theatre.

Finally we would like to give some recognition to two unsung heroes that helped make all this possible: Bobby Nintendo and Lehr(the Intern)thing. Both of them did many thankless jobs for very little reward and we are eternally grateful for their tireless efforts.



But don't feel left out, non-Angelenos. We have Chicago and New York shows in the works and hopefully many other cities near you. We won't stop until we are living the dream with a nightly show in Branson.

Thanks to Ashley for the pictures.

THERE ARE SO MANY WAYS TO KIDNAP KIDS...

Only you can protect your sexy alien child from a world of relentless pervs.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

PUT YOUR BONERS AWAY!

It's here! The time has come. Head over to our new store in the sidebar (or just click the image below) and get yourself a copy of our first DVD, Everything is Terrible!: The Movie.

We've decided to make it available for a penny donation and shipping & handling. The shipping & handling will be used to offset the cost of making the DVD. It's easier on us that way.

Friday, June 19, 2009

BELIEVE IN ANTICHRIST?

Open your bible and follow the Pastor Arnold Murray away with the woodpeckers of his mind to the magical nonsensical kingdom of Boomboomland.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

THE COUNTDOWN BEGINS!


Only 82 hours, 20 minutes and 56 seconds until the big night! You'd better get those tickets ASAP!

MEET DETECTIVE MALONE... HE'S GETTING TOO OLD FOR THIS

In 1980 Castro emptied his jails... they came to America with a vengeance.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

A NEW WAY TO STAY THE WAY YOU ARE

If you're like me you hate to exercise, in fact, you hate to do anything but take care of the kids and edit old VHS tapes all day. People always ask me, "Hey, Airwave Ranger how do you look so damn good without ever getting out of that chair?" and I say one word "Breathersize."

Monday, June 15, 2009

ARE YOU GOING MY WAY?

Because the one thing kids love more than clueless adults rapping is vegetables.

ROCK MUSIC AND THE OCCULT

Twisted logic at its finest. Michael J. Fox is the Prince of Darkness! Who knew?

Friday, June 12, 2009

THE SECOND WORKOUT VIDEO OF THE APOCALYPSE

It was written in the First Book of Terrible that a face-melting beast would return from the bowels of darkness to foretell the end of days, whence mankind shall repent upon raised cheek bones and sexier fuller lips. Amen.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

KATHIE LEE IS A CREEP

The head of the reptilian talk show agenda shows you how it's done.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

...AS LONG AS YOU FREAK IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION

If anyone out there is excited for the Spider-Man musical, watch and learn.

D ANG ER!!

Somebody give this little guy a medal.

Monday, June 08, 2009

SOMETIMES YOU GOTTA USE A SLEDGEHAMMER

Apparently the finer points of the argument against sexual harassment weren't penetrating the collective skull of America's youth, so the educational video industry felt compelled to make this turd.



So remember, men are not sex objects, no matter how much denim they wear.

Saturday, June 06, 2009

IT'S ON

People of Los Angeles!

Clear those calendars, because you are cordially invited to join the EIT crew Saturday, June 20 as we join the Cinefamily in presenting EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE: THE MOVIE!

The WORLD PREMIERE of EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE: THE MOVIE will be followed by a rare screening of the boobtastic classic DINOSAUR ISLAND, so what are you waiting for? Buy tickets already!

It's on, motherfuckers.

Friday, June 05, 2009

STAND TALL STAND PROUD FRED SAVAGE

If the early 90s taught us one lesson, it is this: When it comes to war, we're not here to justify the cost, or to count up all the loss, that's all been done before. Think less and care more America.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

WHY AM I SO DIFFERENT?

You think your life sucks? Try walking in Baby Huey's giant duck shoes for a while. The diaper rash alone could make a grown person cry.

Monday, June 01, 2009

GIVE YOURSELF OVER TO ROMANCE AND GLAMOUR!

You cannot resist Donna Mills and her spackle make up.

MY MAGICAL SELF IS ELVIN

Lest you Christians out there in Terribleland think we unfairly target your religion, don't worry. Your adversaries are nuts too:



...Actually, that Satanist lady kinda rules.