Tuesday, January 19, 2010

THIS SINGING BABY IS ALL GROWN UP!



And give us your Jerrys! Because...



There is an autographed copy of Matthew Matney's Favorites on VHS in our possession. This tape will be given to one lucky person out there in Terribleland! All you have to do is give us the most Jerrys. You have 30 days. Seriously, whoever gives us the most Jerrys will receive this one-of-a-kind gem! Booya!

31 comments :

Robert Madewell said...

I remember Matthew Mattney from Branson! My mom even bought a cassette from him. I couldn't stand listening to it, myself. His version of Hey! Good Lookin' was just way to corny for my brain to handle.

marahe said...

Please, god, can we please make it our mission to find this kid online? He has to be online, right?

um zombies said...

Oh man. Facebooked it and this guy looks alot like him...

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1379407779&ref=search&sid=771300272.1792932364..1

Heather said...

Oh man, that last 20 seconds...*shudder*

Heather said...

Hey, unzombies: that link is def. him. I checked the link for the church listed on his fb page, and it's a Branson church. Hmmm.

Anonymous said...

I love that gossip girl and lady gaga are listed in ihis pages

scamps said...

STUART ANDERSON RULZ 4 LYFE!!!!11!!!

Debbie Gibson said...

See? This is what happens when you let children under 60 into Branson.

Destination A Go-Go said...

WARNING!!
A Jerry Watch is in full effect!

Pretty sweet EIT!

John said...

What's going on with the sound? I was getting the same high-pitched squeal with the Klassic Kommercials.

I'm still enjoying... but it's hurting my ears, just a tad.

Grrg said...

He's a fan of not just Gossip Girl and Gaga, but also of musicals, Glee, SYTYCD, Kristin Wiig, Mamma Mia, MIKA(!!), Britney, Kelly Clarkson, and Beyoncé. Basically his facebook fan pages are a one-man "Things Suburban Gays Like."

Which goes to prove, I guess, that dressing your little boy up in Fancy costumes and encouraging him to make broad theatrical hand gestures will, in fact, turn your child gay.

Then again, he's also a fan of "TwoIgnite" which i just googled and... let's just say that it doesn't seem on cursory examination that they'd let MY gay-married ass into their "marriage ministry." So, while I hesitate to draw any conclusions, I do encourage Matt to vacation in San Francisco this summer. And leave the wife at home.

Heather said...

Thanks for that wiki link, Robert. Now I'm off to find me a copy of the Ethel Merman Disco Album.

jeffrey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jeffrey said...

Oh there's a movie too...

"Heaven On Earth"

Cracklins said...

Is that "Bob" from "Twin Peaks" in the boat with him?

Jamesie said...

Does he know that his father is a child molester?

Anonymous said...

What a creepy little bastard...

Anonymous said...

All Heil the King!

Anonymous said...

"Ah shure do love pretty girls!"

Yeah right.

He has the Shirley Temple faces/mannerisms down pat!

pigwhistle said...

Duane could eat that kid for breakfast.

Anonymous said...

LOL at the "child abuse" tag!

"He has the Shirley Temple faces/mannerisms down pat!"

If only he could sing...

Pudding said...

I agree with Grrg; I saw "Mika" and shit a brick.

That dude needs to click his ruby slippers and get the hell out of Branson.

Anonymous said...

I friended him on FB and downloaded some of the better pics on his page.
Here they are...enjoy!
http://s772.photobucket.com/albums/yy2/filmclip/

Shut his mouth up said...

He looks like a gay white version of William Hung now that he is grown up.

Anonymous said...

I am friends with matt. He isn't gay. And he has more talent than any of you will EVER have... and that was just when he was five! You all need to grow up and get a freaken life, or a girlfriend... or even a blow-up doll if you can't get either of those. Now stop stalking people and go back to playing "sim's on-line."

Anonymous said...

oh awesome, the commenter who intends to save the internet from objectivity and act as our conscience. i wasn't even going to comment. now its time to gang up on the protective friend. protective friend is ____. (ITT: fill in the blank.)

~anon

Grrg said...

Oh, no. The Internet has no desire to attack the anonymous defender of former child star Matt Mattney of Branson. (Which presupposes, it must be pointed out, that suspicions of homosexuality are "attacks" that must be "defended" against, which they are categorically not.) The Internet, as strange as it may sound, is actually somewhat worried about Matt Mattney of Branson; worried that he may possibly be in contact with soi-disant "friends" who in fact would reject the fullness of Matt's humanity, and who would actively work in the secular courts to deny Matt's constitutionally-guaranteed civil rights. Most of all, the Internet fears that these malignant forces may be lying to him, again and again, about Jesus Christ's true plan for his life, which (the Internet only suspects) involves a sacred, holy, and sacramental union with another gay man.

Actually now that the Internet looks back on it, maybe that WAS an attack on Matt Mattney of Branson's anonymous "defender." Sorry. The whole Prop 8 meshugas has got the Internet a little worked up lately.

On third thought, though, SERIOUSLY how in-the-closet could Matt Mattney of Branson possibly even BE? I mean LOOK AT HIM.

(We love you, Matt Mattney of Branson! love, the Internet)

Clarissa said...

TO EVERYONE WHO POSTS HERE:


Matthew Matney is not gay. Believe me, I know him personally. Admittedly, he does give off that vibe, what with his interests and manner and such. But try asking some people who ACTUALLY KNOW HIM what he's truly like...he is pretty gosh dang hot in real life, and Lord, can he sing. He is perfection in motion when he dances. He is incredibly sweet and such a gentleman, and you all would not believe how many girls in this area WAAAANT him!!
I implore all of you wonderful people not to succumb to the shallowness of this generation by believing and assuming things about everything you see on the internet.

anrkist713 said...

Whoa, calm down Clarissa Explains It All.

Anyone saying he is gay is obviously not basing that on any known facts about him. It's the internet, where anyone and everything is open to ridicule whether it be fact or fiction.

Anonymous said...

Holy crap, found his Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/people/Matthew-Edward-Matney/1379407779
Apparently he acts now

Anonymous said...

http://m.bransontrilakesnews.com/mobile/entertainment/article_b103d5e6-8066-11e2-bf95-0019bb2963f4.html