Saturday, January 09, 2010

GIVE US YOUR JERRYS (AND OTHER TAPES)!!!!

Hey gang,
It's time for us to clear up a little misconception that's been bugging us for the past year. Contrary to somewhat popular belief, we don't reedit or repost videos from Youtube or any other video hosting site. Every video posted on EIT has been lovingly crafted from the direct source VHS tape as nature intended.

Recently, we've been sent a lot of links to funny internet videos, the most Terrible of which we have "Re-Tweeted"© on our Twitter account. While we want you to keep sending us links because we like a good lol as much as the next blogger, what we really want is tapes. We know you've still got them in your attic, basement, area thrift shop and mountain of broken VCRs and we want them.

So here's what to do: send us an email with a brief description of the tape at everythingisterriblefund@gmail.com. We have a lot of tapes already and don't want you to waste money sending us something we already have. If we use your tape on the site, we'll put your name or a link to your website in the post. We may even give out special prizes to those with the most Terrible tapes. And if you want the tape back, we'll mail it back to you and reimburse your shipping cost. There's nothing to lose and world wide internet fame to gain!

That being said, there is one tape (or the One Tape) that we want every copy of and that magical tape is Jerry Maguire. Here at EIT, we have a special history with Jerry Maguire. For over a year, we've been chronicling wild packs of Maguires in their native thrift store habitat with our patented Maguirewatches, and during that time, we decided to start a Jerry Maguire sanctuary to preserve these great artifacts. Our goal is to have the largest private collection of Jerry Maguire VHS tapes in the history of mankind and we need your help. If you or somebody you know has a VHS copy of Jerry Maguire that needs a loving home, please donate it to us at:

Everything is Terrible!
P.O. Box 47924
Chicago, IL 60647 USA



Don't let another orphaned Jerry sit forgotten in a cold, dark bargain bin. Send it home to our bathtub where it belongs. Thank you.

15 comments :

John said...

I'd love to help but all I have is old VHS tapes of porn.

Lauren November said...

What the F?

Is there some mission statement somewhere on this site that explains WHY you want Jerry Maguire and why that's the only crap 90s thing that you specifically collect?

I mean, I'm all for this. I just kind of want in on the explanation.

Destination A Go-Go said...

I've seen that merch table!

You kids have been watching TeenBiz again.



p.s.
Cool, you live near McGruff the Crime Dog
:)

Daniel said...

Nice taint tag.

Anonymous said...

It's because Jerry Maguire is by far the most common used VHS you will find anywhere, although I've never heard an explanation why. Did the studio accidentally add an extra zero to the number of tapes they wanted the manufacturer to produce?

Spaf said...

I'm curious as to how many copies of Jerry Maguire are owned by EIT thus far.

I might be tempted to make a donation. New copies on Amazon are about 40 cents + shipping. I could even place a gift order so that the tape never enters my possession.

Anonymous said...

EIT owns approximately 328 Jerrys.

Anonymous said...

hmm, i need to root around my attic. im sure there is a cheap knockoff peter pan animation still up there...

Anonymous said...

Talk to your local used book and video store. They'll be more than happy to save them for you. I can't tell you how many copies I've thrown away at work! D:

Mene Tekel said...

The image instantly reminds me of Analogue Bubblebath.

Britt said...

I have 14 in my possession right now. Once I've cleaned out the whole city they'll be in your hands.

Anonymous said...

hahahahahaha ha ha hahaha! years ago, while i worked at this cd warehouse, i wanted to do that with all the hootie and the blowfish albums. i think we had around 30 copies at one time...

mindelixir said...

ahhh Jerry Maguire is the second most popular movie on Hulu btw. Everybodys got Jerry fever!

Anonymous said...

I would just like to point out that the figure shown on the Maguire watch page is clearly wrong. The figure showing the percentage of infinity that 1634 represents is clearly wrong. The result of 100% * 1634 / infinity is zero. It remains zero until you have an infinite amount of copies, when it goes to 100%.

Anonymous said...

So I kind of just lied once you have infinite Jerry's you can also have infinite% or negative infinite% in addition to 100%