Monday, September 14, 2009

THERE ARE SO MANY GODDAMN WAYS TO WIN BINGO



We here at EIT often encounter some of the most eye-gougingly tedious videos ever committed to tape, and every now and then, we have to pass that pain onto you.

Kicking off Boring Week is the return of EIT's resident Las Vegas Guru explaining every possible way to win bingo. Enjoy.



BORING BONUS: Rainbow Spirit!

27 comments :

therandomizer said...

Can anyone tell me why I would need to memorize countless bingo patterns?

One of the guys in the Rainbow video looks a bit like a cross between Mr.T and Carl Weathers.

Christoph said...

I love this site.

John said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJ4VNcMRLtY - BINGO!

frank said...

all that's missing is Busey and/or Christian puppetry

Anonymous said...

I think there is a rainbow around the moon.

Baby Blocks said...

Is that a swastika on the first bingo board??

¡revulo! said...

There's a rainbow...AROUND THE MOON.

Alex said...

and then they drink the punch?

Nicol3 said...

You had me at "69".

Grrg said...

I highly recommend clicking play on both videos at the same time. DO IT.

Heather said...

So many bingo patterns...how will I keep them all straight?! PRESSURE...BUILDING...

The Rainbow video is proof that humanity is devolving. Although it *does* have furry bustiers...so who cares, really?

Kirk D. said...

So there IS!
http://travel.webshots.com/photo/1099870359051247786iyRZur

Anonymous said...

EIT, how am I supposed to comment on multiple videos in one post? You guys are a bunch of butt-horns.

Mik said...

I LOVE THE LAS VEGAS GURU! That sweaty bald bastard can teach me all the inside tricks!

Toon said...

Playing them at the same time is a great idea. Mesmerising.

Tipsy McStagger said...

in re: rainbow spirit hippie crap

it's totally watchable just mute the sound and checkout that hot hippie T & A action and remember those chicks don't shave anywhere....anywhere dude.

Hester Prine said...

What kind of hellish revival of Godspell is this?

Anonymous said...

I am now very sure that the archway above hell doesn’t say anything about abandoning hope, it just says “Now we are going to show you, a variety of ways to play bingo”

And then that’s Hell. You just sit there, century after century, listening to:

Top lefthand corner - missing pickle.
To the right - French laundromat.
Bottom left hand corner - Rasta on holiday.
To the right - woeful monkey

Top lefthand corner - Angry pastrami.
To the right - Cinnamon menopause.
Bottom left hand corner - Turd in a sandbox.
o the right - pornographic menorah

Top lefthand corner - Traitorous knapsack.
To the right - leper's teacup.
Bottom left hand corner - Barbed cough drop.
To the right - salty hobo.....

Marty said...

My life will be complete if I can figure out how to mix the Rainbow Song with any other song that might fit: "Over the Rainbow" "Rainbow Connection" "Do You See What I See?" "Dark Side of the Moon" The possibilities are endless...

Stephen! said...

Cinnamon menopause! Truly the finest idea for a bingo pattern in the history of the game. Anonymous, to you I doff my bingo hat.

Aaroncoal said...

I saw one girl in the back that did not look like she was fully convinced that there was in fact a rainbow around the moon.

Mesila 333 said...

Hippies and casinos just don't mix. It's like making a sushi roll using hamburger and green tea ice cream: either thing on its own might have its value, but together, it's stomach-heave time.

Anonymous said...

if there are so many ways to win bingo how come we always lose?

Perin McLean said...

theres a rainbow..nowait....DOUBLE RAINBOW!
ALL THE WAY!

carlton random said...

My pulse never got above 85, even when I ate her tongue.

Duke said...

Now I am certainly not trying to question this multi-talented gentleman's knowledge of the sport known as Bingo, but I find it a tad hard to believe that at 1:57 that is referred to as the Letter Pess.

Anonymous said...

the guy at 6:47 is Erik the flutemaker! My friend bought a flute from him.. he's a christian now. I can't believe I found him in this video... this is absolutely ridiculous. he has a sweet story