Wednesday, July 01, 2009

LOOK WHAT GOD MADE!

Why did we stop all the blood sacrificing?

24 comments :

rabbinero said...

...Actually, puppet grandpa and puppet-girl, we do look uncannily like monkeys.

Felt eyes fail.

Jessica said...

I remember watching this in Sunday school! hahahaha... weird memories.

Darren said...

Gah, this is awful.

I'm a Christian and I'll be the first to say that the creation story is complete bullshit.

And what is it with televangelists' obsession with puppets?

xpoint said...

Well O.J's bloody glove doesn't look like it fit, so he is not guilty. My bible "If I Did It" is the truth.

SNAKEBITES said...

That was the creepiest thing I have ever seen.

Anonymous said...

very Wonder Showzen..

Anonymous said...

Hey, kids! Want to poison your mind with more of this fundamentalist tripe? Then haul your God-loving butt to wiserkids.net and buy the 4-DVD box set, which looks like it might just also feature that beloved pile of racist video vomit, Jesus Loves the Little Stereotypes!

Heck, while you're at it, why not catch up with Mister Quigley and his little friends through their 12-DVD collection at values4kids.com and learn how to OBEY all over again? Because, hey, who needs free will?

Monkeylint said...

Darren-
My PRIEST was the first to say the creation story is complete bullshit. Or as he more diplomatically put it, "just an allegory passed down through centuries of oral tradition so it shouldn't be taken literally."

Anonymous said...

wait......


Eve had a lazy eye???

Hester Prine said...

I was getting a very Aryan vibe from the cartoon Eve. And not that I'm expert on the bible but I don't remember it being mentioned that Adam and Eve were married anywhere. Plus I always thought Lilith was Adam's first wife.

kadgi said...

The aryan vibe does make sense, especially with Abel and Cain. If the hair goes dark, then beware, for he might just struck you in the face with a rock.

Anonymous said...

So full of FAIL, it's glorious. Love Eve's wonky eye, Adam being a little too familiar with a deer...

Christopher said...

"Do we come from monkeys?"

Actually you come from a crafts store.

I don't really get why Christians like this are so hung up about coming from monkeys. Is being made out of dirt really less degrading then being made out of monkeys?

And I don't know about you, but I look a hell of a lot more like a monkey then I look like a riverbank.

Judging by his voice, Cain was also the world's first pro wrestler. "I don't know, it's not up to me where my brother should go, and I am going to CRIPPLE Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania."

Mark Question said...

I am now convinced that Cain killed Abel because of his godawful, sleazy moustache.
You shall not suffer an abomination to live!

Anonymous said...

a lot of fundies do look like monkeys, look at W.

Marcos El Malo said...

God made mud.
God got lonesome.
So God said to some of the mud, "Sit up!"
"See all I've made," said God, "the hills, the sea, the sky, the stars."
And I was some of the mud that got to sit up and look around.
Lucky me, lucky mud.
I, mud, sat up and saw what a nice job God had done.
Nice going, God.
Nobody but you could have done it, God! I certainly couldn't have.
I feel very unimportant compared to You.
The only way I can feel the least bit important is to think of all the mud that didn't even get to sit up and look around.
I got so much, and most mud got so little.
Thank you for the honor!
Now mud lies down again and goes to sleep.
What memories for mud to have!
What interesting other kinds of sitting-up mud I met!
I loved everything I saw!
Good night.
I will go to heaven now.
I can hardly wait...
To find out for certain what my wampeter was...
And who was in my karass...
And all the good things our karass did for you.
Amen.

~Last Rites of the Bokononism

HAIL SATAN said...

BLOOD ORGY BLOOD ORGY!

LETS CUT OUT HIS EYE AND PISS IN HIS EMPTY EYE SOCKET SO HE GETS AIDS AND DIES ALL SLOW-LIKE!

Anonymous said...

a blood sacrifice! a blood sacrifice!
a blood sacrifice! a blood sacrifice!

Lawl!

:P

megafork said...

I have these tapes.
I knew they were awful when I was ten. ><

Kat said...

@ Darren

And what is it with televangelists' obsession with puppets?

"Okay, little Evie, use the puppet to show me where the devil's serpent touched you..."

Laurent said...

Terrible that some people actually believe in this bullshit :) Probably one of the worst production ever. Could they actually just try to make a little more sense rather that pushing the idea that "the bible is true".

Anyhow... some people are going to laugh their head off in a few centuries watching all these pathetic believes.

Good montage btw. Love this website ( I am a newbie here... just discovered it).

Timothy said...

Everyone knows that God made Adam and Eve as perfect aryans with blond hair and blue eyes.

Anonymous said...

....the fuck?

Jeremy said...

I like how Cain has this awesome metalhead voice like he should be singing backup for Gwar.