Monday, August 31, 2009

BABY PROOF YOUR HOME WITH DOCTOR DOWNER

Martin Short makes a great straight man.


Stop watching this video and seek medical help immediately.

23 comments :

therandomizer said...

For some reason, I feel the need to seek medical help immediately. When I have kids they will be restrained 24/7, except for twenty minutes of exercise in the rubber room!

Anonymous said...

I already learned how dangerous a stray balloon can be, thanks to Volume 4 of the Qualatex Balloon Network Curriculum Series.

Anonymous said...

Surely that pin given for safe household could fall off, allowing the baby to put it in his mouth?

That should be locked away in a cupboard immediately!

John said...

This house is so dangerous, I must say, I must sayyy.

The real danger was lurking in the bathroom. What the hell kind of wallpaper was that? Zebra Douche?

analogassailant said...

ALPHA-BITS!! I WANT ALPHA-BITS NOW!!

Anonymous said...

Wow, what a buzzkill :(

Will said...

So when you have ketchup baby, call a doctor immediately. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

WHY IS THERE A TELEPHONE IN THE BATHROOM

Tom said...

http://www.babyproofernewyork.com/

J. Travis Rolko said...

Is that Martin Short?

marahe said...

how out of work was martin short when he made this video? i mean, this wasn't really during a dry period, was it? did someone call in a favor, or was he just really dryly passionate about baby safety?
also, it seems that he wants to punch the doctor in the face.

TVarmy said...

He has to keep the stereo high up and out of reach? If the kids can't play with the stereo, how will they ever learn how to be cool or play air guitar?

Children who listen to Mozart go on to dislike Mozart, but children who blast grunge rock grow up to be adults. It's a scientific fact. Do you want your children's growth to be stunted?

The Making of Me said...

That sun looks oddly pleased that he has given a child sunstroke.

Anonymous said...

I'm with Analgass....

More ALPHA-BITS!!
NOW!

redrash said...

Martin Short is awesome! haha

Marty said...

Good god, as if I needed more reasons NOT to have offspring. Kids will eat cat shit, too, if given the chance, but I'm not putting THAT in the cupboard!

FireVampire said...

Holy crap, that guy has seen a lot of kids die.

Anonymous said...

I guess this means i should remove the hot bed of coals laying in the babys den then?

Jockohomo said...

those alpha bits don't have marshmallows in them so WHAT THE HELLS THE POINT

Anonymous said...

What is the doctor thinking? That pin is deadly too! It's tiny enough to be swallowed or inhaled by a baby or child, and the pin could cause serious internal bleeding or death.

On one of those "Mystery Diagnosis" shows, there was a story about a man who accidentally inhaled a push-pin and nearly died from massive internal bleeding in a lung.

Joelster said...

Looks like he pulled the old "camoflage-the-medicine-cabinet" trick to make it safer for the children. You know what they say, "What they can't find can't harm them." Good work.

Anonymous said...

how much longer before Martin Short punched his lights out and then force fed him the peanuts, buttons and balloon before throwing him in the pool!

Anonymous said...

Somehow I think that when the doctor says he's seen children drown to death. He means it literally, like he stood by and watched them die.

Seriously though my mother had a cousin die from inhaling a balloon. As a result she always freaks out at parties where kids and balloons are involved. It's a really party buzz.