Thursday, August 27, 2009

ATROCITIES IN THE NAME OF FRUIT!



If you would like to hear all 12 hours and 39 minutes of The Pineapple Story, the 12 CD set can be purchased here.

35 comments :

autumn. said...

oh great. how come he has to be such a douchebag baby killing racist in other countries? is it JUST to make nice christians like me look bad? eh? ehh?

Anonymous said...

everyone knows jesus loves the little children, unless they steal his pinapples, then he stabs them in the face with a sharp stick and burns their village down with fire from his holy balls. First Corinthians 7:36

nathaniel wallace said...

Oh my god! We used to have a picture book based on this story! It was every bit as tedious as you imagine.

Jay said...

How perfect is it that when you click through that link, the Insitute of Basic Life Principles says it's "Giving the World a "New" Approach to Life"? Exactly.

BuckWheat said...

the ferns are a nice accent.

billy the bunny said...

Wow, god can forgive you for being a racist asshole? Great.

therandomizer said...

So let the babies die, cause someone is stealing this assholes pineapples?! If they were such savages why didn't they eat this douchebag and take his goddamn pills?! Riddle me that asshole.

Desuko. said...

I'm so glad we're finally catching up with the jungle people.

Anonymous said...

Jesus, of course they're gonna take his shit. I'm pretty sure cultures like that just share everything, so it's not stealing for them, for Christ's sake.

And how the hell does he think God forgave him if he didn't even claim responsibility? I dunno if the worst part is him or the fact that everyone is laughing at his racist jokes.

Anonymous said...

Man they haven't called it Irian Jaya for years. Get with the program, IBLP.

Although, it is now one of the most evangelized places on earth. Take from that what you will.

Multiple Miggs said...

Mmmmm....mmmmm! Them must've been some tasty pineapples!!

Hester said...

Suscription sunglasses and pineapple gardens? At least he proved to be the stupid asshole he was acting like. And God is supposed to forgive, well only if you're truly sorry for it and ask for forgiveness. At least that was my understanding.

Anonymous said...

What? What do you mean by "you people"? Oh... Really? Damn, wait... seriously? Thats just low dude.

Jeanne said...

So. . .this guy gives up on preaching The Word because they stole his friggin' pineapples?! Way to keep missionary service in your heart. I would never *dare* claim to speak for God, but if I had to guess, I'd say no, God probably won't be cool with you giving up on their souls and letting their babies die, you King of the Douchebags.

christine said...

the story is about how he went from being a complete jerk (which is the majority of what you have chosen to use in the video) to actually giving up everything that he owns for the sake of others... of course you've edited out all his repentance bits, gotten rid of the turn-around... because actually people seem to prefer to think that people are complete arseholes. makes for better commenting. well... good work.

Anonymous said...

Christine, if you really cared you would right now be starting your own video-based website called "Everything is Uplifting and Awesome!" and featuring the extremely unfunny sounding portions of the video that you're describing.

Tiki Monk said...

Jungle People..... That made me look pretty good.

Heather said...

I get the impression that he's actually in his bedroom in front of a sheet and two carefully staged ferns with an applause LP playing.

stump said...

You forgot to tag it Racist.

808 said...

Wait.....

...Pineapple Story..Back ordered?!!

Foiled again EIT
.....You win this time!

Rock said...

God will forgive you for letting infants die of preventable illness.

But he won't forgive you for stealing my pineapples!!!

TVarmy said...

Well, at least he made sure to remind God that these people were pretty bad.

To use a parable, that's like if a bank forgave you a large debt and then saying that the people who work for the bank are greedy and don't deserve their money back.

analogassailant said...

LOL awesome!!!

Anonymous said...

Amazing bigot.

Anonymous said...

"the story is about how he went from being a complete jerk (which is the majority of what you have chosen to use in the video) to actually giving up everything that he owns for the sake of others... of course you've edited out all his repentance bits, gotten rid of the turn-around... because actually people seem to prefer to think that people are complete arseholes. makes for better commenting. well... good work."

No editing in the world can change the essence of this man's story: stolen pineapples = dead babies.

Anonymous said...

He's on Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/rdoorkaz

that_sarah_girl said...

I took his pineapples.

Laura said...

Aughhhhh! My parents LOVE this man! They have the picture book! They have the 12 hour 31 minute CD collection they listen to while they're in the car. It made my day to see Gothard crap on here! :D

poetajadeante said...

Ah yes, good old dark skinned heathen jungle people. Stealing pineapples from some Dutch guy who moved into their village and started telling them what to do.

Shaggy Brown Fedora said...

his wife's "subscription sunglasses"? i guess she'll have a new pair next month.

Mesila 333 said...

"Chronic Thieves!" That when someone keeps stealing people's marijuana?

E.P. said...

where's zach galifinakis?

Anonymous said...

:P Silly people edited the vid to make him look awful but he's not, you just have to listen to the whole thing. how would you feel if you left your cushy life to help people in a village and they just started stealing from you? but then he realized he was being selfish and he stopped doing that okay geesh

Anonymous said...

"how would you feel if you left your cushy life to help people in a village and they just started stealing from you?"

Probably not pissed enough to withold medicine and let their children die. But, you're right, he repented and made money from the tale, and the heathens got pineapples, so all's well that ends well.

Anonymous said...

Ok, guys. How did the natives survive thousands of years before the pills? It's not the missionaries fault the babies died. And to the ones who say you wouldn't be upset if someone kept stealing from you. What do you do when someone cuts you off or you cell phone doesn't respond as soon as you want it to? We need to be honest with ourselves firts before attacking someone whom you have clearly misinterpreted. The story is of how God changed His life. We all need Him to change us, everyone of us. We are all far from perfect.