Tuesday, May 04, 2010

STREET FIGHT TONIGHT!

Buy this video and by the time the tape runs out you will know how to kill a dude. Seriously.

44 comments :

Anonymous said...

I wish that real life was like self-defense training videos, so that as soon as I open-handed slapped someone they would fall down in agony, even if they were wearing a motorcycle helmet.

James said...

YESSS I WANT SOONER THAN JULY 2nd!
PLZ I CAN HAS VIDEO?

John said...

I could use him as a mustache cleaner.

Anonymous said...

Does it only work if I say "boom" upon making contact?

ianwissman said...

Let me scratch your cornea. Humanely.

Fat 'n Boring said...

Why are the members of Daft Punk going around and robbing dudes in back alleys?

bortosaurus said...

At least he took his girlfriend with him that one time.

Digeridude said...

I guess these moves were invented before AIDS.

Anonymous said...

Boop.

marahe said...

"Hey man, you got a problem with my jean shorts?"

Ryan said...

What, no hair pulling or breaking bottles?

Kyle said...

Hey, a Neo-Geo machine!

Fandango said...

Super runaway!

Victor Serge said...

That's why I always wear my motorcycle helmet in bars, I've had my cornea scratched one too many times.

Heather said...

Dude is hopped up on some goofballs!

ryan said...

0:47 "Boop! I just touched his face."

cybebully said...

Poor Carlos. He just wanted a hug.

Ryan said...

"Poor Carlos. He just wanted a hug."

That reminds me of: http://www.everythingisterrible.com/2009/01/do-not-hug-this-man.html

Nate said...

What have we learnt from this video? People who wear their motorcycle helmets in bars/backalleys/when not ON a motorcycle are going to rape/rob/both you.

Dustin Timbrook said...

Dude is like a real life Steve Brule. He follows every instruction with a "Why didn't you already think of this?" expression.

filmscience said...

Wow, Hall & Oates have really gone in a new direction

Anonymous said...

This guy is Sifu Paul Vunak. In one of his videos, he shows how to bite someone who attacks you.

Stephen said...

You should check out Bas Rutten's self defense videos. Bas likes to hit people with anything he can pick up.

mightyjabba said...

I didn't know Matt LeBlanc and Michael Medved put out a self defense video!

For some reason the "running away" part of each scenario is totally hilarious.

Anonymous said...

MASS ATTACK!
Yeah, that's it. Kill that offensive stereotype.

jason tinkey said...

thank you for this valuable public service, i cannot wait to oblique kick somebody.

Anonymouspotamus said...

The mustache grab 'n twist is a good move to try in alot of those situations too.

Marty said...

I learned all this from watching the 3 Stooges, man...

mcsandwich said...

Now I know what to do the next time an astronaut tries to pick a fight with me.

Andy said...

Every time he runs away I'm reminded of Napoleon Dynamite after his big dance

Tank Flabbott said...

Y'know, I'd like for these skinny krotty masters to come and do that to me when I'm in the Bar. Even if I drank a fifth of Vodka, they'd still look like John Matua.

Jimbo Ginzu Knife said...

Man, I'd like to have Tank Flabbott come on ovah ta Ovahtown Miami. See him try dat shit on me knawmsayin'. I just wanna thump that dude in the skull knawmean. My street fightin' record is 500-0. I gots more knockouts than Hugh Hefner. 305 WUT!

Anonymous said...

Yes, getting the hell out of there is an important part of beating the shit out of strangers at bars.

Mars said...

I like that he lives in a reality populated with aggressive portly guys in casual dress and lots of motorcycle helmeted thugs.

Andrew said...

you're all a bunch of pricks

Lee W said...

I love how he refers to "The bite" as if its a legitimate fighting move.

What does he have a black belt in ju-bit-su?

This video should have been called how to fight like a pussy.

Anonymous said...

You morons have probably never been in an actual confrontation in your life... Google Paul Vunak.

Also, if you injure someone further than what is necessary and there are witnesses, prepare for jail time... hence the "running" away. You're not as free as you think, to do whatever you want.

Thomas Brusso said...

I'm not a racist! That asshole spit shine shoe boy just fucking got in my face!

J-Dubb said...

Should I admit that I actually bought this video once? It was advertised as some hard core street fighting video. I was disappointed to find that the moves included biting, groin kicks, and running away.

Anonymous said...

0:31

Anonymous said...

"It's like you have a gun, instead of BOOM! Shooting it in the face you bang him on the head with it."

Anonymous said...

I got some grief off a drunk guy in a bar tonight. All I could think of was "take a boom to the eye", but he didn't have a motorcycle helmet, so I didn't see the point.

Anonymous said...

The bite: "Give me your money! Ahhh Ahhh Ahhh"

John Zak said...

Did he steal a pool ball at one point?