Wednesday, February 16, 2011

IT'S NOT AN EXAGGERATION TO SAY...



When the Jesus Freaks take over, the American economy will follow the Coke standard, so start stockpiling now!

28 comments :

FITZSIMMONS said...

What a stereotypical American way to think... "people from all over the world..."

then show an image of the US with a few locations dotted on it.

Most Americans aren't stupid like that, but videos like this don't help your people!

Anonymous said...

I thougth this was about the Singularity at first.

closedmouth said...

I love how they have to make it clear that this is legal.

nano said...

Two Cokes (tm)!

At $1.75/coke, that's $3.50/student. My small rural High School had about 980 students, so that would have been $3,430. Throw in the Middle School & you'd be looking at over 7 Grand.

That's a lot of money for an Abandoned, Unloved kid to come up with...

In any case, how the hell is your average Worried, Rejected teen going to form a "one-on-one personal relationship" with all those other kids?

Ravenhallow said...

That's right kids, the only way to show your fellow students the power of organized religious brainwashing is with your allowance! Fuck reaching out to them with friendship and/or noogies, it's only legit when you cough up cold cash.

..What, I'm the only person who shows I care through noogies?

chris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
chris said...

What's with the funky VO lip synced teens after the "bored""unloved" intro?

Maybe it's the voice of God? God is a damn good Ventriloquist. And I would pay the price of THREE cokes to go see his act!

Anonymous said...

LOLOL, I love the fact that they used clips from the movie "Hackers" in the beginning of this video.

a guy said...

so awesome they got ted williams to do the VO

J.R. Herbaugh said...

Kids love religious pamphlets.

Henry_Slinkman said...

Make close relationships with people...so you can hound them about religion later? That just seems so deceptive.

Clive Gulch said...

A product of the Poochie school of Evangelism, "Salvation .... To The Extreme!"

Anonymous said...

what a crock of shit...

I'm surprised I never saw this crap being passed out in my middle school/high school and I live in Texas..well Austin Texas so its a lil more liberal here....somehow we never really had religious groups like this come to school and try to brainwash us all.

Mr. Tastee said...

Worthless but radical

Alex said...

Two cokes though man...thats pretty suuuuweet.

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of a kid I knew who'd pass out Chick tracts. Whenever someone would point out the logical inconsistencies in them, he'd throw a fit. For Jesus, I guess.

Dragon Sound said...

This is what I miss about the 80s and 90s. Even religious pamphlets were extreme. And nothing is more extreme than showing an impoverished African nation with a naked child to make your point.

Spaf said...

"We will not be confined."

WTF? Isn't joining a religion doing just that?

Queen of the Macabre Fashion Sense said...

They showed a newspaper of the Columbine tragedy. Columbine happened in 1999, but the video production made me believe that this came out in 1991.

I guess they couldn't get enough coke cans to make the video more current looking for its time?

Anonymous said...

my god. i remember seeing this same fucking video in church youth group and given a bunch of these books of hope to pass out in school. the social pressures to do shit like that is staggering.

but, hey, at least i recovered from being a fundie, pentecostal, douchebag.

Mad Flows Grishnackh said...

I would love to see Coca Cola smack them with a lawsuit.

MC Oral B said...

"2 cokes to pass out..."? I guess some people shouldn't experiment further than Jolt Cola.

This was very effective for me. The mere possibility that once I become a "Jesus Freak", I will have the privilege of having my life ADR'd is a gamble I'm willing to take.

And BTW, after having been converted, I wondered if other people would take offense to me pushing my views onto them. Now that I have been armored with The Equal Access Act of 1984, I think that my potential friends will not only listen, but put me on there shoulders and declare me "the most popular person in school". I can't wait to try to befriend other people with an ulterior motive. I mean, being a teenager in high school seems a little too easy.

Anonymous said...

I remember going to a lock-in with my friend at some awesome sports complex in the mid-90s. He was our contact to get in. At one point in the night, all of the kids who brought others were called into a room and given a speech pretty much identical to this video: "Your job is to coerce people to Christ", and all.

I told my mom when I got home (even at 12 I was weirded out, and we were Catholic) about the ministry we had to sit through, and she FLIPPED SHIT ON EVERYONE. This includes the school, since my friend organized our group there.

TL;DR: it's hilarious that some church group sets kids up to be expelled. While you can distribute pamphlets, if you're caught doing a bait & switch or a form of coercion, your ass is grass.

DarkSideCat said...

I love the completely unsubtle attempt to undermine seperation of church and state.

Sadly, reading the description prior to watching the video made me invision a far more fun "coke standard".

Anonymous said...

hooray for brainwashing the young!

Pudding said...

America's superior global outlook ensures that the handful of books distributed in five US cities will reach their many Christ-curious friends abroad by nightfall. That and internet piracy.



Word verification: hombl

jack e. jett said...

nipple hardening at the 2.26 mark

Trekkie313 said...

Man, it started out great like a commercial until the "so-not-Goth" dude came up.