Wednesday, April 07, 2010

YO, JESUS!

41 comments :

Russell J. said...

i think the sound would only make this slightly more terrible

Anonymous said...

I kind of like it without the sound. It lets me make up my own story.

John said...

The North star at night, is big and bright. *clap clap clap clap* Deep in the heart of Jesus.

Anonymous said...

David may got Soul, but he sure ain't got sound

Bluestockings31 said...

This was indeed terrible. Well done.

Heather said...

The most interesting revisionist theology to date!

Zachary said...

This is by Carman, I used to own this CD, look up some more of videos on youtube; they will not disappoint.

Lautaro said...

love the jurassic park tshirt

Anonymous said...

I want this song to be from High School Musical.

Horus said...

I think the referee is Arthur from the original Degrassi Junior High tv show! Funny

Jesus + Horus...eh, same diff.

JRH said...

You guys were very wrong. It is much better on mute.

Anonymous said...

What the hell is that monstrosity at the start of the video?

Porcineum said...

The cheerleader in the middle made my sling feel all funny.

Anonymous said...

Don;t you love how the future king of Israel in this video was a blond haired blue eyed Aryan boy?

Mars said...

AAAAaaand it's gone!

filmscience said...

When I watch video like this, I tend to imagine the amazing creative process that made sense to some group of people, resulting in this end product. Specifically, I try to imagine people sitting in a room, with someone saying: "Hear me out: A biblical rap, but with kids. Mostly white kids. And backup singers." And other people in the room had to go, "Ok! Great!"

Behind most terrible films is a shockingly large number of people. Trust me; I, personally, have been one of them.

Anonymous said...

His teeth...my god, his TEETH!

"Verily, verily I say unto you, sing bang boom!"

Anthony said...

Jurassic Park shirt @ 3:12 = EPIC!

Anonymous said...

Wait, did David just call Goliath a bitch, or is that just (very) wishful thinking?

Alex said...

v. nice ty

Lee said...

I knew it! The announcer is Isaac Hanson and David is Taylor Hanson, the guitar player and lead singer for Hanson. Their whole family used to do christian music festivals in Tulsa, OK where they're from. MMMBop was honestly a step down.

Anonymous said...

lol at the Jurassic Park T-shirt, I thought Christians hated dinosaurs?

also, I didn't know the Hanson kids were Christians

Nate said...

I want to commit sin with all 3 backup singers at once.

Also,Jurassic Park T-shirt at 2:31

Libbie said...

David and Goliath story is from the Old Testament, yet dude holds up a John 3:16 sign even though Jesus hasn't been born yet.

Totally rad.

Ian said...

I *think* he said "big shot" rather than bitch, but I had that same thought...I kind of wish he called the giant a bitch.

Tim said...

I second the love of the Jurassic Park shirt

Anonymous said...

Sure he's that way with a giant but how is he against a priest?

Anonymous said...

Arthur from Degrassi and Hanson in one video?

This is why the internet has shrivelled my penis into what looks like and is as useful as a dead leaf.

Louis Canon the loose cannon said...

AND THAT'S HOW I BEAT SHAQ!

Raymond said...

Why is that guy dressed like a fifties reporter?

Miss Billie said...

I want to hear Nick Cave cover this.

Rachelle said...

I wonder if Taylor Hanson ever looks back on this video and wonders where it all went wrong...

Marty said...

That idiot killed the Giant before he stole the Golden Goose and chopped down to beanstalk! What tomfoolery!!

DETOX said...

i knew this was hanson!!!

Gottfried said...

That guy in the press box made me want to turn on all of the lights in the house, shut the closet door, and hide under the covers.

John Daniel said...

the narrator in the press box looks deformed, like some retarded burn victim..his face is terribly misshapen.

The Sinister Minster said...

in case you didn't know: this was written and preformed by multi-genre/crossover christian gospel artist
Carmen-
The actors in the video are members of his church and friends ... (By the way that is him as Goliath.)

----------------------------------
I saw Carmen in concert when I was a teenager maybe 13 or 14. My dad is the pastor of a nondenominational church. So, I pretty much had to go on my own volition or go by force. Believe you me, the rod would not be spared my friends if i tried to rebel. My old man would hit me with a hickory stick he called the "Giant Killer". He would hit me with no more than 39 lashes; the punishment I may have needed or not needed depending on how the spirit moved him. A number of times I had been bruised and the welts on my legs and back would sometimes bleed from the lashings. But I digress. It really sucked having to listen and see something, that I really had no clue of or cared little about. I was into Iron Maiden, Slayer, Diecide, Morbid Angel Unleashed ETC. So being forced to go made me hate everyone that was like the fool that was singing his "STORY SONGS!" Carmen. Consequently, I had already grown to loath and disgust my family. And the puppets that they had chosen to be my friends; their friend's children. I wanted to destroy the whole fanatical realm. I found myself trying to push my own will through the brainwashing, emotional scarring, physical and mental abuse with much labor and difficulty...
That was like 21 years ago or so. I left home at 15. I wanted to kill Carmen and my father and rip there bodies apart! Stomping and sliding around on their wasted worthless lifeless bodies, until I mashed them both into a puddle under the wieght of my angry fucking body and feet!
It made a depraved young man out of me and over the years I have done much,for lack of a better word, "evil" in this world because of it. Hm, I suppose I was doomed to be a depraved psychotic. heheh Because I still feel the same fucking way!

But Carmen is very popular amongst the followers of Christ.

Anonymous said...

WHy do they say this is rap.... cause its not

Anonymous said...

TEEEEEEEEEEEEEETH!!!

Anonymous said...

Those Hanson boys must have made some Tulsa orthodontist very rich! MMMteeeeeeeeeeeeef!

theatheisthansonbrothergummo said...

Emperors Nero & Diocletian my have had a point. Aryan King David, nice appropriation ya christian assholes.