Tuesday, April 13, 2010

TRAINING BY THE SLICE!



Thanks to Kevin Misiuda for the many, many pizza tapes!

31 comments :

Fat 'n Boring said...

Well, seeing as how I'd never even heard of "Round Table Pizza" until just a few minutes ago, I think it's safe to say that they lost the pizza war.

Ian said...

Weird...I'm a huge pizza person, and I have never seen a pizza that looks like the one at the end there. :P

therandomizer said...

What's with the hidden camera footage at 2:40?

Library Playground said...

Does Italy really consider a pizza that looks like apple pie to be a "tribute"?

JRH said...

Watching a training video alone in the back room of fast food restaurant can, and should, induce an existential crisis.

Raymond said...

Where were you during the pizza wars of 96?

pdx said...

Round Table is a west coast phenomenon.

Heather said...

I was too busy washing my hands to fight in the Pizza Wars.

Derek said...

"Which pizzas come with white sauce?"

NO STOP

human-cannonball said...

This training video has NOTHING on the Pizza Hut training video featuring Siskel and Ebert that I had to watch when I worked there in high school. In the training video, Siskel and Ebert watched videos of suggestive sales techniques, and gave them "pepperonis" for effectiveness of up-selling pizza. One of the best moments was when Roger Ebert proclaimed that he loved "being offered a second pizza."

I would love for the good people at Everything is Terrible to drudge up that little miracle video, as I've never been able to find it on the 'net, and I fear that it has long ago faded into oblivion.

Sean Doyle said...

Fantastic. "No! Stop!" Should be included as a vital part of all training films, preferably at the beginning where it can encourage young people to get out and do better things with their lives.

On a barely related note though, Round Table was one of the most consistently great chain pizzas you could get in California when I left the west a decade ago. I've never, ever seen a location of theirs that looked so dank and dungeon-like though.

Heather said...

Human-cannonball: I feel the same way about a Wendy's training vid that I was forced to watch in 1992. It featured a catchy song about the proper order of condiments on the burger. No guest stars, though. Alas, it has not yet shown up on the net.

Can't think of a clever name said...

I've seen cornier training videos.

Victor Serge said...

What is it with corporate training videos that you're not just supposed to do your job, you're supposed to love it? Isn't keeping your hands free of bacteria every 20 seconds enough? I've worked a lot of crappy, underpaid jobs surrounded by people made crazy by the fact they couldn't leave - it was tactful to offer sympathy, not good cheer. It's like 1984: you can't just obey Big Brother, you have to love Him too.

On a side note, I'm loving the worker exploitation theme this week.

Kyle said...

Currently working in a Dunkin' Donuts, but never had to watch a video for it.
I believe this video emphasizes compulsive hand-washing for the same reasons that our bosses obsess about asinine cleaning regimen, and that is constant paranoia about being shut down by the health department. God forbid the milk steamer go unclean for two minutes while I'm taking care of some idiot who wants HALF of a friggin' sweetener packet in her coffeegrumblegrumblegrumblgrumble.

A quick look on Wikipedia shows that Round Table Pizza is still around, exclusively in the western states (including Hawaii/Alaska).

Pizza Knight, their current mascot:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lgy8zlHdTQk
Discuss.

Anonymous said...

Not a single table in the restaurant is round. False Advertising.

Anonymous said...

Well, I had to show a short training video when I was a cashier trainer for a local supermarket. I would always tell the trainees (just after the math lessons) that if a customer gets belligerent, "you need to call a manager because you don't get paid enough to deal with that bullshit!"

Anonymous said...

There's no acronym easier to remember than LSTT.

human-cannonball said...

I should probably give honorable mention to a Wal-Mart training video I've sat through which featured three full-length music videos of Wal-Mart employees and their families.

One of those three songs: Elton John's version of Circle of Life.

Anonymous said...

Goddammit, now I want some pizza, thanks a lot EIT

Digeridude said...

God damn these pizza wars. I'll never be able to wash the sauce from these hands...

nate said...

No one recognizes my degree from RTU.

nate said...

No one recognizes my degree from RTU.

fupu said...

Anyone else remember the McDonalds training vids read stiltedly by Michael "I will appear in anything" Jordan? No? Wow, my teen years stank...

Kyle said...

You see me now, a veteran
Of a thousand pizza wars/
I've been workin' in the Hut so long,
Next to the movie store


...I don't feel like converting all of "Veteran of the Psychic Wars" into a song about pizza shops. But it's a start.

Anonymous said...

I know when I take a break, I go outside of my work place and have a good ponder while rubbing my chin.

Anonymous said...

Just high-fived a coworker? WASH THAT FILTHY HAND

Julian said...

ROUND TABLE VICTORIOUS IN PIZZA WARS

Round Table gains a 100% market share in the lattice-top pizza market and sales of lattice-top pizzas worldwide increase infinity percent from zero.

Founder and CEO of Round Table Pizza, William R. Larson Sr., said this about the success of the lattice-top pizza, "Round Table is all about families and families are always telling us that they want more crust and less topping on their pizza. We throw out tons of toppings every year that customers pick off their pizza. But now we offer the Mamazella pizza, one which is over 80% crust--none of our competitors can compete with that. Actually, we wanted to make it 100% crust, but it would have been too expensive for the tight budget of a modern family."

Anonymous said...

Round Table is a west coast thing even though the pizza is more sauce then cheese and the crust is the same thickness all around. There is one in my town.

Daghead said...

This makes me feel like more of a fast food loser for working at Chipotle. I'm still in denial though.

Anonymous said...

Siskel and Ebert did a training video for Pizza Hut? That seems really out of character for them. However, I'll take your word on it. I'm very surprised it isn't on the internet somewhere.