Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
THE APOCALYPSE THAT WASN'T
Too soon?
Labels:
90's
,
Apocalypse
,
celebrities
,
Defenestrator III
,
Future Schlock
,
Leonard Nimoy
,
obsolete technology
,
Y2K
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
LET'S RAP FIRE SAFETY
Get your lean on, kids. Smoke rises.
Labels:
90's
,
fire
,
Future Schlock
,
rappin'
,
safety
,
white people
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
THE BATTLE OF BEV!
The elderly harness the power of horses n' magic to defeat the evil doughnut pastry! The battle will be slow paced yet neon, which is nice.
Labels:
90's
,
Commodore Gilgamesh
,
exercise
,
magic
,
neon
,
old people
Monday, May 25, 2009
TRUSTER
Put your paranoid fantasies to the test with Truster!
Labels:
90's
,
commercial
,
Defenestrator III
,
Future Schlock
,
obsolete technology
,
paranoia
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A STAGE MOM
Labels:
90's
,
Defenestrator III
,
drinking
,
drugs
,
Future Schlock
,
kids
,
Mom
Thursday, May 21, 2009
BOB MANN, INSTANT BADASS
Labels:
80's
,
Airwave Ranger
,
bikes
,
exercise
,
karate
,
miss america
,
stretching
THIS AIN'T YOUR FATHER'S RACQUETBALL
This is Sybervision.
Labels:
80's
,
Airwave Ranger
,
exercise
,
how to
,
racquetball
,
sports
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
WWJDIHWOICD?
That Zeke Zimbinski is a total dreamboat.
Labels:
80's
,
cocaine
,
cool
,
drugs
,
Future Schlock
,
Jesus Christ
,
teens
,
Word Nerd
TRICKLE-DOWN HILARITY
The joke's on you, poor people!
Labels:
80's
,
banned
,
comedy
,
Defenestrator III
,
Future Schlock
,
politics
,
Ronald Reagan
,
stand-up
KIDS ARE STUPID
Labels:
90's
,
celebrities
,
Defenestrator III
,
Dick Clark
,
dummies
,
Future Schlock
,
kids
Friday, May 15, 2009
A PRINCESS PARTY
Follow the Princess Gwendolyn and her dog, Peeper, through the Magic Door of Wishes and Dreams and down the Pretty Pink Pathway into a terribly sad reality of gender role identification and cake.
Labels:
90's
,
birthday party
,
gender
,
girls
,
Gwendolyn the Good Fairy
,
Peeper
,
princesses
,
women
,
Yonder Vittles
Thursday, May 14, 2009
WHAT IS FILM?
Time travel ain't no thing. You just need the right equipment.
Labels:
90's
,
Airwave Ranger
,
celebrities
,
dinosaurs
,
physics
,
science
,
string theory
,
time travel
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
JESUS DIED FOR YOUR DONUTS
Your life is like a donut, and you fill it with Jesus? Wait, no. Jesus is the donut, and sin is the hole? Who knows, and who cares, all I can say is that when the 'Donut Man' tries to convert you to Christianity with a song, run.
Honestly, Donut Man, Jesus died on the cross and this is how you spread his word? The only purpose a Jesus-freak-breadloaf with bad puns has is to scare stoners, and the rest of the whole tape reeked of that sort of desperate brainwashing. I know it's easy to knock this whole genre, but in the end that mustache clinches it: You sir, are a Creepasaurus Rex.
Honestly, Donut Man, Jesus died on the cross and this is how you spread his word? The only purpose a Jesus-freak-breadloaf with bad puns has is to scare stoners, and the rest of the whole tape reeked of that sort of desperate brainwashing. I know it's easy to knock this whole genre, but in the end that mustache clinches it: You sir, are a Creepasaurus Rex.
Labels:
90's
,
creep
,
food
,
Ghoul Skool
,
Jesus Christ
,
music
,
religion
Monday, May 11, 2009
COCK BLOCKIN' ROCK IS POSITIVELY RADICAL!
Are you tired of Christian music that's boring and promotes urban strife? Then Z Music is for you.
Remember, teens, condoms only work 85% of the time and when they fail, you are stuck with either God's most precious miracle or AIDS.
Remember, teens, condoms only work 85% of the time and when they fail, you are stuck with either God's most precious miracle or AIDS.
Labels:
90's
,
abstinence
,
Christian
,
cool
,
Defenestrator III
,
Future Schlock
,
music
Friday, May 08, 2009
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
WHO AM I NOW?
What you are going through is totally natural, and totally terrible.
Labels:
80's
,
embarrassment
,
erections
,
puberty
,
Tampax
,
teens
,
Yonder Vittles
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
SOUND ADVICE FROM A CGI LAWN MOWER
Labels:
00's
,
CGI
,
Defenestrator III
,
Engine Eddie
,
Future Schlock
,
news
,
TV
Monday, May 04, 2009
I DO, I GUESS...
The perfect wedding is a delightful souffle of denial, ego, and daddy issues. Ladies, if you do not daydream about this exact scenario something is wrong with you.
Labels:
00's
,
DJ
,
Future Schlock
,
marriage
,
wedding
,
wedding band
,
white people
,
women
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