Friday, March 05, 2010

JESUS HATES KLINGONS!

Here's a nice send off into the weekend, please enjoy the greatest Christian Sci-fi story ever told.

52 comments :

Anonymous said...

Captain Retard?? hahaha

Christopher said...

What the fuck was that?!

Jon said...

got a funny feeling they got some pro-wrestlers to play the klingons

andrewQuintiliani said...

NOTHING CAN EVER BE WORSE THAN THIS

Anonymous said...

Didn't Jesus talk about forgiving one's enemies, not hurling objects like a shuriken into their foreheads?

Heather said...

Ugh. Why do some Christians have to be so stupid????

Anonymous said...

The name of the captain of a Christian ship being Captain Retard can only be described as accurate.

I hope they got sued for copyright infringement.

Henry Horker said...

Well, I don't know about you guys, but this video sure converted me to Christianity.

Charlie said...

This is the worst thing ever.

Smurfblood said...

I used to watch this show. I think it was called "Fire By Night." It was actually pretty entertaining, that is, compared to most Christian programming.

Anonymous said...

I am happy to no longer subscribe to this religion.

Torin Golding said...

Now would Sarah Palin approve or disapprove of this use of 'retard'? I'm going to go with 'approve' because to her if one of her kind uses it, it is ok. Sadly, that's not the only kind of cognitive dissonance she is capable of.

And it is disheartening to see that in the 24th century, fake Christians are still not behaving like Christians should according to their own scriptures (contradictory as they are).

Set your phasers on hypocrite.

scamps said...

Fuck you, video. FUCK. YOU.

scamps said...

Oh, and the Klingons look more like the baddies from Battlefield Earth.

Kyle said...

I could have gone my whole life without considering whether or not Klingons were circumsized.

And I know it's impossibly appropriate and wonderful that the Captain's name sounds like "Retard," but any chance they could have been saying "ritard?"

RickRussellTX said...

Wow. In 2 minutes they managed to say degrading things about both the mentally disabled AND other Christians in under 90 seconds. Impressive.

Joshie said...

So wait...does that mean it's unchristian to be uncircumcised? Ruh-roh!

JRH said...

What's the Klingon word for circumcision?

mcsandwich said...

I'm sad that the awesome shark battleship got relegated to this abomination.

filmscience said...

I can't wait for the "Bizzare Christian Horseshit" expansion pack for Star Trek Online. Maybe I'll find out if Ferengi have dicks!

TVarmy said...

I went without EIT for two weeks. This video shows that not only are you guys still finding terrible stuff, but that the crap is getting worse. This was... everything bad, concentrated into a bottle of cess.

Were they doing it on purpose? Because they sure as hell succeeded.

Anonymous said...

The Klingon's evil lair looks like the transmitter room for my college's radio station. Good gawd.

Victor Serge said...

The guitar duel is a rip-off of "Bobby and the Devil" from Kids In The Hall! (OK, via Crossroads.) Right down to the "No" at the end. I kind of felt bad for the Klingon: I'd curl up and die if I had to listen to Christian folk-rock.

Anonymous said...

I swear one of those Klingons was Hulk Hogan brother!!!!

Anonymous said...

I swear to god, in the first klingon-scene: the left klingon is Glenn Beck!

Laivine said...

I don't know, somehow I feel the phrase, "And if the Klingon doesn't like it, he can sit on a phaser and die." is going to become part of my everyday repertoire.

george said...

Go to http://klingonsforjesus.50webs.com/

Jesus was a Warrior and is the Klingon Messiah

dandelion records said...

this is maybe the best thing i have ever seen....

+1000 wtf.

brndn said...

Christians, you know you can't solve all your problems with impromptu talent shows

ps I enjoyed John Travolta in this.

shodan said...

kinda crossroadish that guitar duel !

Anonymous said...

Where is the 'worst thing ever' tag???

Ancient Weaver said...

It's like they gave Larry the Cable Guy his own live action show on Adult Swim.

I love EIT, but I think this is living proof that kitsch and irony are officially beyond dead.

Anonymous said...

so thats where jim belushi ended up!..got to hand it to him though his portrayal of a guitar playing klingon stole the show

Loktofeit said...

What is the source of this video? Is it an extreme Christian group that made it or is this yet another example of someone mocking Christians, putting it out as Christian material and getting the rest of their hate-filled compatriots to fall for it, all sword-rattly and fired up about those dumb ignorant Christians?

Anonymous said...

I got subjected to a lot of that culture as a child, and nope, that's no "mean mockery" of Christians. I get the feeling that's heartfelt and authentic, right down to the random Scripture quotes. It's the sort of thing perky young adults would produce to show how they had the joy of the Lord unbridled. They're praising Christ with electric guitars and sheer enthusiasm, the basis of all Christian Rock!

The poor Klingon.

Michael said...

In a world where Evangelicals get completely hysterical about same-sex marriage, because, y'know, you have to talk about sex to explain love, they're okay with bringing up, for no particularly necessary reason, circumcision? DUDE - you're GONNA have to talk about a penis at that point, at minimum.

Suggie said...

If Jesus hates Klingons, how does he feel about Kzinti?

m said...

As a follower of the Way, I swell with pride at this rousing sketch, here preserved for the ages. Seriously, tho, John 3:16. Keep up the good/ bad work, EIT!

Fat 'n Boring said...

So... does it stand to reason that all uncircumcised men are of Klingon lineage?

Susan Isaacs said...

Joel Osteen's early drama ministry.

Tungsai said...

I HAVE THIS ON VHS!!!

seriously considered sending it into EIT, but was too lazy to convert to digital. :D It's AWESOME!!!

Tungsai said...

CORRECTION: I have a different episode. it must have been a series. In mine, they confront video games and go to the planet "Nivinentendo" to free the video game slaves.

Future Schlock said...

Tungsai, we will totally still take that VHS off of your hands.

AugustHovel said...

I want this whole movie! This looks like it would be awesome in its own way.

Anonymous said...

It's from a christian music/sketch show called Fire by Night, so they're probably calling him captain "ritard" (musical term for slowing the tempo), not captain retard.

That said, it's still pretty awful.

Anonymous said...

NOOOO STOPPP NOOO I WOULD RATHER SIT ON A PHASER AND DIE THAN LISTEN TO HIS DRIVEL

Bryan said...

...And yet, still better than Battlefield Earth

Anonymous said...

This just proves that christians have no talent, have no respect for the mentally handicapped, have no originality (ripping off both the bible and Star Trek blatantly) can't entertain worth a shit, and are the most unlikable irritating people on this fucking planet.

Also, "m", if you're a troll, 1/10, troll harder.
If not, god doesn't exist.
Grow up from your fairytale. g

Kate said...

You know, this is much more amusing before you let yourself acknowledge that it isn't a parody of any sort...

trevor meyer said...

Well lemme say straight up that its incorrect that they focused on circumcision — in the New Testament theres a whole thing where god visits one of the apostles and tells them its okay to eat pork and shellfish etc and repeals all the crazy Old Testament laws and EXPLICITLY states that point forward all Christians are to be uncircumcised.

So wtf America?

Anonymous said...

Of course the Klingons are circumcised. Blood sacrifice which is normal for Klingons. It is probably a right of passage to manhood.

Anonymous said...

Of course the Klingons are circumcised as a rite of passage to manhood. Blood sacrifice which is common to Klingons.