Monday, June 20, 2011

HOT FOR KOMPUTER TUTOR



Let me get this out of the way first, gang: guest blogging for Everything Is Terrible, for me, is about the single greatest honor a complete waste of a man such as myself has ever received short of winning a wagon full of Archway cookies on the Bozo show. So let’s get to it. I was surprised at a few things after I made this video. FIRST: according to my mother, Kim Komando is still a force to be reckoned with on the technology scene. I always assumed that her “jazzing up documents” would have lost her some serious points with the Silicon Valley crowd. SECOND: It doesn’t matter what she says, I WILL LISTEN. Change my document margins? She’s right, you know: “It’s almost, like, why bother?” THIRD: I have a crazy, crazy crush on Kim Komando because she’s right: a blue screen is like a big, blank piece of paper I can put inside my typewriter. And if anyone’s going to disillusion me about Ed McMahon’s practice of merging form letters like “ramps onto a freeway,” I’d rather it be the soft, supple voice of Kim Komando instead of Leo Laporte. Wouldn’t you?

21 comments :

Operator Overload said...

Yo Chris
I have another Kim Komando video, complete with the timer in the corner. I couldn't survive watching the whole thing. Congrats on coming out the other side!

Anonymous said...

There are people (major writers in fact) who to this day only know how to use WP51 and go a little insane when they look at a modern GUI. Their assistant sets them up with a new Core I7 8GB 2TB system, and puts MS-DOS on it. The unused clock cycles are so huge the PC cowers away in a corner in stark mortification.

Denim said...

Eternal Flame playing in the background is making me laugh harder then anything else.

Chris Ward said...

Yeah, I only made it halfway through that video. There's another whole section on Microsoft Word! Gah!

m. curtis said...

I love the no-look document snatching that occurs at 3:21. It's flawless.

Lucky Luciano said...

...back when blue screens were still innocent.

Grrg said...

Ladies, take note: THAT is what your manicure is supposed to look like. FLAWLESS.

kedarguru said...

@ Denim, same here

Chris Ward said...

@denim I threw a little Boyz 2 Men in there too when that printer climaxes the document finally

Richard Whittall said...

Man, this brought back some unpleasant middle school essay memories.

John said...

Kim Komando's Komputer.

Blonde hair, blue eyes. It fits.

Anonymous said...

Watching this video I had a few conclusions:

1. I miss 90s hair.
2. I kept expecting a porn-actor with a mustache to come in to the room asking her : "Hey baby I heard your printer is jammed"
3. Real life should have a porno synth-soundtrack like that.

Spaf said...

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Anonymous said...

am I crazy, or is that Stockard Channing?

Anonymous said...

My god. The Mac had been out for ten years by the time this was released. How could any human consider this an acceptable word processing environment, no matter how hot the 90s chick was?

Michael said...

"Girl, relax
Let's DOS slow
I ain't got no where to goto"

Oh, the innocent days before 1.25" margins made BS essay writing more productive.

Dr_Strangelove said...

She looks and sounds like a mob wife.

Relentless Noisemaker said...

iz komputer tutor gonna fix my typewriter? why'd i listen 2 herr?

Ravenhallow said...

...Ed McMahon doesn't type each letter to each person personally?! DAMN YOU CHRIS WARD! You've shattered my dreams.
Good work, sir!

Anonymous said...

Did anyone else think it was odd that she dated the letter December 24th? Shouldnt she be shopping? Or is she Jewish?

Anonymous said...

THank you for sending me