Thursday, May 26, 2011

DUSTIN DIAMOND TEACHES CHESS, PART 1

This is the first installment from "Dustin Diamond Teaches Chess", a FOUR-HOUR LONG instructional video that is chock full of terrible:



It's only going to get worse. You can thank Sharon Mooney for unleashing this unto the world.

22 comments :

Anonymous said...

Four HOURS?!

John said...

It's still more exciting than his last video.

Ravenhallow said...

It's a credit to how much I love you guys and your work that I even attempted to watch this one.
My hatred for Dustin Diamond burns with the fury of a thousand Sun Slammers.

ThefilmBug said...

Please! Please for the love of God don't unleash the full four hours on us! I beseech you!

Matt said...

It's like this, but with chess:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XREnvJRkif0&feature=related

voraciousboot said...

He was either desperate or high to want to do this. I kept imagining/hoping he would say, "Have you ever sucked dick for chess?"

Anonymous said...

Makes you question the whole idea of entertainment.

Anonymous said...

This video, out of everything you've ever posted, is probably the most uncomfortable yet. This man was ever on a successful TV show? What

kedarguru said...

I can't imagine why chess would take four hours to learn. It's probably the case that 1 hour of it is actual chess, which the rest is basically dicking around trying to make it "interesting".

commandercool said...

Thank you, EIT. THANK YOU.

Richard Whittall said...

Nothing says chess video more than a picture of a chess board on the wall.

Mr. Tastee said...

The only Dustin Diamond video I want to see is one where he attempts to eat a live grenade before it explodes.

Alex said...

Wow......can't wait for this endurance test.

Nick vdK said...

Just be thankful this wasn't the video with the dirty sanchez in it.

Anonymous said...

Why not dub this over his porn tape?

Dongo said...

All four hours, please. This is special.

chris said...

What's with the awkward contortions?

chris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Looks like someone gave him a book on chess and a suit and told him to show up in someone's basement the next day ready to roll--and of course act like Screech the whole time (on second thought, I am pretty sure he's not acting like anybody).

T-bagger said...

All past bad-decision-making aside, the fact that Dustin Diamond (using his judgement) thought the Screech schtick was timeless enough to ressurect to make a chess how-to should bring to scrutiny his status as a licensed driver and/or a property owner, if he is either of these things.

We must face all four hours, as a duty to ourselves, and to civilization.

Anonymous said...

Whenever there is a really funny tv show or movie I wonder how the crew (cameramen, boom mike operators, etc.) don't crack up. I'm pretty sure that wasn't a problem while making this video.

Legalize Everything said...

I'm guessing he got paid by the hour.