Wednesday, June 13, 2012
THERE'S GOTTA BE A BETTER WAY!
Short, blind and bad at boiling eggs? There's gotta be a better way!
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Future Schlock
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infomercial
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10 comments :
I'd LOVE to grow an extra two inches! YES!!......oh...height...
So, when do you tell the woman you meet not to be alarmed after you shed two inches in height after taking your shoes off? Before or after the first date?
--Sgt. McKinley, Royal Anon's...
I think that keyboard is actually a good idea...
Bonus points for use of sad trombone
Eggy-wegs.. I would like.. to smash 'em.
Now stop feeding my horrible infomercial addiction, these are too good :3
I was skeptical about each of these products right up to the moment they decided to throw a second one in for just the cost of processing and handling.
All right, I'm only five foot ten. All right my posture is bad, all right I slump in my chair. But I've had more women than either of you two! I've had half bloody Norway, that's what I've had!
Not only does maxtall increase your height, it makes you appear skinnier in your photoshopped before and after pictures...
Is it weird to feel that I need all of these? Look at all the problems they are solving! I bet they could even bring peace in the Middle East.
My parents got eggies. I had to make deviled eggs for Christmas. One of them escaped the pod and filled the boiling water with egg goo. Also, the yolk was larger than the opening, so it was just a massive mess. There has to be a better way!
Best way to increase you height is:
1) be aware of your parents height when you are 12-13 years old. (or your own if you are a parent)
2) Estimated height at maturity can be calculated from the above (just google it). If the result is undesirable, do the following to add 1-5 inches of height:
3) Eat a diet high in fruits and vegetables, and low in fried foods and high glycemic index foods, such as french fries, etc.. Studies show that a consistent diet of fruits and vegetables during growing years will add an average of 2 inches to the height of boys.
4) Take 1200mg of arginine pyroglutamate plus 1200 mg of 1- lysine daily during the growth years (13-20). This has been proven to increase the release of human growth hormone which will add several additional inches to stature. Note that this will only be effective during growth years, and may actually have adverse effects if taken outside of this time bracket.
So go ahead and increase the height of yourself or your child and be 5'11" instead of 5'4"! You're only limited by the above mentioned time frame.
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