Friday, June 04, 2010

JEHOVAH PARK!

The Jurassic Park theme really does make everything sound more exciting.

Great job, Chuck T of Minneapolis! You are TUFF ENUFF FOR EIT! MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE IN '95!

45 comments :

Brian said...

[PLACE CHRIS HANSEN PICTURE HERE] would have been funnier if we could add pictures to our comments....

Anonymous said...

http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/f/f7/RaptorJesus2.jpg

Gristle McNerd said...

so, uhm... is he serious or is this satire?

Destination A Go-Go said...

Winner!
The humor possibilities are endless.....

I had no idea there was the ear of my parasitic twin attached to my heart, but just because i don't understand it, doesn't mean I don't believe it.

Amazing Job Chuck!

p.s. @Anon.. I was thinking the same thing :)

Anonymous said...

what on Earth is he using Jurassic Park as a metaphor for?

Heather said...

I want to go to arcade church!

Luke said...

I'm afraid to ask but... how exactly does he plan on giving the devil hemorrhoids? Another thing to note is he is talking to a bunch of ten year olds about hemorrhoids! [ten year old to father] "Daddy... what are hemorrhoids?"

Bluestockings31 said...

Fuckin' internal combustion engines. How do they work?

Gene Frenkle said...

Ohhhh. I get it.

He replaced the word "Out" for "Rock" to come up with "Rockrageous".

marahe said...

Steve Munds has highlights now! and a goatee! Win! http://www.cfaith.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=3463&Itemid=99&autid=16887

Fat 'n Boring said...

@Gristle McNerd: Oh he's serious, alright, thus turning it into a satire. Pretty keen, yeah?

Personally, I've found doing things Satan's way gets things done quicker and more efficiently, which gives me time to check EIT daily! See how things work out?

Anonymous said...

Lizard Jesus Camp:

http://cache.reverbnation.com/data_public/resource/image/30/303187/praise.gif

Anonymous said...

Damn, Bluestockings31. I tried to post that exact comment this morning but my internets were acting stupid.

Gristle McNerd said...

@Fat 'n Boring: huh. seems like I fell victim to Poe's Corollary.

Anonymous said...

This is ChuckT, who submitted this clip. The "Jurassic Park" connection is soooo paper thin. The video crudely slaps seemingly 2-3 unrelated scenes from the movie in the midst of his sermons. All with proper legal permission, of course.

Kathleen said...

Dear Non-Existant God,

Please, PLEASE tell me the t-shirt with Kurt Cobain and Jesus was made. And then kindly tell me where I can purchase it.

Your pal,

Kathleen

bortosaurus said...

I prefer Krishnasaur.

John Zak said...

Someone has got to be suing somebody here.

Anonymous said...

Oh, he's a "youth" pastor...I think we all know what that means...

Cameron J. said...

That is a *fantastic* Pride sweater

Ivan said...

If only my churchgoing experience had been more rockrageous, I might not be the heathen I am today.

Anonymous said...

Oh my, Steve has more videos on YouTube. Anyone want to chip in to see Steve bald?

http://www.youtube.com/user/ralphindamorning#p/a/u/0/34cG3YSngTU

mcsandwich said...

I can't even begin to express how much I hate people who say "melk."

Anonymous said...

In all seriousness, the myth that the United States was in any way founded on Christianity is repeated so often that it has become unquestioned truth for a lot of people.

Pick up a history book (preferably not one from Texas). Better yet, read what some of the founding fathers had to say about those stories in the Bible.

filmscience said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

The 90s truly belonged to God. THE ANCIENT GREEK WORD "EX" TRANSLATES TO "CHRIST"!!!

randomgadget said...

mo jesus mo problems

ACP said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Oh yeah it's very Christian of him to mock Kurt Cobain after he's dead.

Voracious_Boot said...

With all that dancing around it looks like...

Oh noes! Quick! That man is having some sort of seizure! Put a wallet under his tongue. (Preferably full of money.)

VonSandwich said...

You know how I can tell that this was produced in 1995?
No, it's not him saying it fifty times.
It's the address at the end.

spgilm said...

1.) Does the number still work?
2.) The shirt is in reference to Cobain's "suicide"
3.) Listen to this song, lol http://awe.sm/38CFB

spgilm said...

ps the song is called "Jesus Lived Six Years Longer Than Kurt Cobain"

And going for the clincher, a girl cries out in vain
How Jesus lived 6 years longer than Kurt Cobain
And Jesus' hair was longer, and Jesus' arms were stonger
And Jesus's eyes were bluer, and Jesus' thoughts were truer

Vile Viral said...

Don't know if anyone got a good look at the "Jehovah Park" logo but I believe that's Jehovah himself choking out the bones of a T-Rex.

nazani said...

Yeah, I hope that t-shirt was made, too. Then Cobain's relatives can sue your ass off, and the whole world can see what an ignorant turd you are. Way to teach compassion to kids, idiot. Oh, let me guess- you're teaching Cobain CHOSE to have the brain chemistry that caused his depression.

henry said...

we can give the devil steroids

James said...

Man, these para-church youth ministries (along with Christian ska and religiously-oriented retail stores) were in their heyday in the 90s. It seemed like every semi-literate with a Bible was starting one. It probably had something to do with the anxiety over Y2K, particularly since most of them dropped off the radar early last decade.

spgilm said...

"And the lord said: 'Pick it up, pick it up'"

Anonymous said...

Christians are trolls.

sir said...

I wonder how many death threats he received for calling Kurt Cobain a coward.

If anyone's keeping track, you can add +1 to the total.

Anonymous said...

oh my god
I used to go to this church.
so glad I found the beauty and majesty of atheism

Anonymous said...

OMG, I was raised on this stuff. I don't know how I came out normal. You wouldn't believe how serious these people are. Serious and ignorant. A beautiful combination.

Kat said...

3:06

"Do you understand what I'm saying?"

erm, not really...

Chris said...

But... does Jehovah Park have T-rexs?

Anonymous said...

He took Kurts name in vain...kill him