Wednesday, June 19, 2013

3-MINUTE CYBER SEDUCTION!

This kid also sucks down Monster energy drinks like water throughout the entire movie, but no one seems to have a problem with that.



Chicago! Come watch the rest of Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life with us TONIGHT at 8pm at Lincoln Hall with live commentary by the hilarious Megan Gailey, Marty DeRosa and Dan Friesen!

28 comments :

Paulo said...

I've seen this movie, and it's fantastic. It's never even suggested that he masturbates during or after watching teh pr0n, which was probably why his life goes off the rails.

Anonymous said...

The red flag for me was when he got that first text with "their" misspelled. It was all downhill from "thier."

Axioms said...

I liked them misspelling thier. I think they were trying to emulate the atrocious spelling of today's young on the internet.

Anonymous said...

Right, extreme guilt and a relationship with an attractive ultra-conservative abstinent girlfriend is just the thing to help a teenage boy deal with sexual frustration.

Anonymous said...

Peter Pan has problems with his peter

Anonymous said...

People who go to church never have problems with sex and are always cured of teh pronz addictions.

Kids computer became a fucking server for the Russian mafia.

--Sgt. M

Anonymous said...

Who uses credit cards for porn? Was this movie made in the 20's?!?!

Anonymous said...

as someone whose seen this movie about 6 times, its a great movie and hilarious each time around. gj EIT :)

Anonymous said...

That left me feeling kind of SCSI.

Anonymous said...

Watching porn before exercising really "jacks you up" for it, amiright bros? Time to get radical!

Anonymous said...

The real reason he was kicked off the swim team: the constant "tent effect" in his trunks.

andiepants said...

Was that Kelly Lynch playing the kid's mother?

Anonymous said...

I literally have no idea who this movie was intended for. Growing up, every evangelical Christian I knew became stone silent at the mention of porn.

kittenwithanip said...

Wow, I didn't notice that's Kelly Lynch as the mother before. That's crazy. I noticed that the kid's Christian girlfriend is Lyndsy Fonseca. That's pretty bonkers by itself. Glad this 'movie' didn't destroy some careers at least.

andiepants said...

Checked the credits--yep, that's Kelly Lynch. She's the actress best known as Patrick Swayze's love interest in "Road House."

To me, she'll always be Ivan the Drag King from "The L Word."

Anonymous said...

uses vocal samples from the movie

https://soundcloud.com/skeletonlipstick/wut-r-u-looking-online

Tom said...

So happy I found the whole movie on youtube. I can't wait to watch it the male lead played cool cousin Conner in a magical twin matchmakers movie.

Anonymous said...

dramatic piano music always plays when I spank it to internet porn too

Anonymous said...

give up the porno and give your heart to Jeeeeeeeeeeeebus

Anonymous said...

yeah and Derek from the Disney show "Life With Derek" is on the swimteam

Anonymous said...

i looked at porn after this

Anonymous said...

Anyone who calls himself 'strokeman' (0:02) is asking for it, surely?

xeno1187 said...

holy shit, it has it ALL.

"you left something on my PDA..."

it's almost like a secret code that has a set of associated emotions/memories if you remember when PDA was seen as a soft of paleo-iPhoneBerry.

ballsome.

Anonymous said...

Oh no....
oh no please

They just keep coming

We can't get out!

Ravenhallow said...

Smart enough to get through your parental controls but not smart enough to find porn that doesn't require a credit card. Fuckin' teenagers.

Doomednuclei said...

Life before becoming Kick-ass

Anonymous said...

Poor girlfriend had to deal with her porn addicted demon of a boyfriend, then go home and listen to Bob Saget talk about all the girls he ran a rain on before he met her mother.

Anonymous said...

Totally unrealistic. Black swim coach? Yeah right!