HOOTEIRE CINEMA

Today, I present to you a genre of films that really means a lot to me. A genre overlooked by college professors and pretentious jerks everywhere: Ladies and gentlemen I present to you, 'Hooteire Cinema' (aka Hooter Cinema to the laymen).

Cinema historians and critics defined the canon of Hooteire Cinema in retrospect; many of those involved in the making of classic bonerrific movies later professed to be unaware of having created a distinctive type of film. Hooteires embrace a variety of genres, from the strong willed woman trying to make her way as a stripper to support her only son, to the strong willed woman trying to climb the corporate ladder in a cruel, man's world. Although the premises of these films may have been as varied as the protagonists' bikini collection, one fact kept them all together- hooters are awesome.

It's hard to believe, but as far as the critics are concerned, Hooteire Cinema will forever be the surgical scar on the boob job that is modern Hollywood. But I defy any film critic working today to tell me they don't have fond memories of sitting in their parents basement at 1am on a Friday, watching 'The Great Bikini Off Road Adventure' in awe with the sound turned off so their parents don't wake up. I'm getting teary penised just thinking about it.