Tuesday, July 17, 2012


August 19-28! Los Angeles! Only at The Cinefamily!

ooooohhh BOY IT’S HAPPENING! We know you’ve been waiting. We know you’ve been doing that peepee dance of anticipation. We know you’re ready to quit your job, leave your wife/husband, and take the dog out to LA to party with us. WE. KNOW. WHAT. YOU’RE. LOOKING FOR.

It’s here my children. EVERYTHING IS FESTIVAL III: THE DOMINATION is here! We have been working all year to bring not one, not two, NOT EVEN THREE days of events but TEN! TEN back to back, face to face ecstasy inducing jam packed days of pure entertainment!  Like the 10 dastardly plagues of egypt this fest is a relentless outpouring, an unstoppable force, a miracle of god... except instead of frogs, locusts and cattle plague we have events, screenings, panels and parties of biblical proportions.  In fact, below is only a PORTION of what we have in store as we will be announcing many more events throughout the week! Check it out children, it is upon us! August 19-28th 2012.

Everything is Terrible! Presents “The Rise and Fall of God” or “Religion’s Greatest Shits!” or “God Is Alive And Well And Living in Branson”
Since ‘07, the found-footage collective Everything Is Terrible! has not only amassed so much gooey analog gold that even sifting through it as a viewer proves to be a problem -- but also a few “cease and desist” letters that have forced the gang to bury some of their weirdest and most outrageous stuff.  Well, fuck that!  For one very special show, EiT! is proud to present the greatest thing to ever happen to VHS: organized religion!  Whether you’re a God-fearing lunatic or an annoying atheist blowhard, let’s put our differences aside and laugh in the face of our Lord while demanding he proves his existence once and for all!  

Jeff Krulik’s ‘Parking Lot’ and Other Treasures
What do Neil Diamond, Harry Potter, and Judas Priest all have in common?  They all have obsessive fans -- and they all have parking lots outside the venues they appear at.  The man who brought us 1986’s top-shelf, all-time classic Heavy Metal Parking Lot presents his favorite short films made over his thirty-year career in filmmaking.

An Evening With Longmont Potion Castle
The John Coltrane of crank calls is sitting himself down for a truly rare and intimate interview.  That’s right, THE only crank caller worth our continued attentions: his work is alternately hilarious, tripped out, nonsensical, infuriating, ridiculous, and straddles the line between totally genius and completely stupid. Whether he’s confusing innocent victims, picking fights with some of them, befriending others, posing as the UPS man wanting to deliver some centipedes, or tirelessly harassing Eddie Money -- the man is a twisted genius.  Longmont will also perform live his one-man metal show that’s sure to shred your flesh!  This guy is your new hero, so get to know him well.

Found Footage Battle Royale
Think your collection of YouTube videos and VHS tapes is the best in the biz? Well, prove it, creep! This is a Found Footage Battle Royale of viral video insanity -- and we’re daring you to bring your A-game, and go head-to-head with your own kind!  We want to see your weird, funny, insane clips that you’ve always wanted to show publicly — think of it like WWF wrestling, but with videos instead of all that greasy groping stuff.  Sixteen brave souls enter the competition -- only one leaves alive!

G.L.O.W.: The Story of the Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling (director & Ladies of G.L.O.W. in person!)
G.L.O.W.: The Story of The Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling chronicles the rise and fall of the first ever all-female wrestling show through the stories of those who lived it.  For all of the women, working on G.L.O.W. was a unique and exciting experience that will bond them forever.  Director Brett Whitcomb and the ladies of G.L.O.W. themselves will be here in person for a panel unlike any other!  

Adult Swim’s “Off The Air” (creator David Hughes in person!)
When your show is called Off The Air and it’s on at 3AM, you’re almost daring viewers to hunt down and discover an incredible show like this.  Thankfully we did, and we cannot wait to share it with you.  Each episode starts with a simple theme (animals, food, etc.), and what happens next is hard to explain.  In an insanely short amount of time, the show’s creator David Hughes curates the most wonderfully bizarre and disturbingly beautiful short films of our time.   Dave Hughes will be here in person to show us unseen shorts, his favorite gems, and God knows what else!  

Schrab & Harmon’s Found Crap
Rob Schrab.  Dan Harmon.  Two creative visionaries who happen to collect jaw-droppingly funny found-footage.  In fact, they relate their obsession to their careers as creators of incredible film and television (Community, The Sarah Silverman Program, Monster House.)  Speaking of success, their Found Crap shows (this will be their sixth!) are some of Cinefamily’s most talked-about events.  Schrab & Harmon are living proof that watching Midwestern horror films and bad porno lead to success and power!

Alamo Drafthouse presents Miami Connection with Y.K. Kim in Person!
There are films that we save for a rainy day -- and, baby, it’s fucking pouring!  THE most entertaining film you will see.  Ever.  Directed by 9th-degree black belt philosopher/author/inspirational speaker Grandmaster Y.K. Kim, Miami Connection tells the story of fearless synth rock band Dragon Sound, as they embark on a roundhouse wreck-wave of crime-crushing justice in the streets of Orlando, FL.  “‘Miami Connection’ has repeatedly destroyed our audience in a more powerful way than anything else in the 15 years of our theater’s existence," - Zack Carlson, Alamo Drafthouse

Benson Interruption: Everything is Festival Edition!
This Everything Is Festival Edition installment of Doug Benson’s Movie Interruption, where Doug and his friends (who, in the past, have included everyone from Brian Posehn to Sarah Silverman and Zack Galifianakis) chill on the front row couches, mics in hand, and say whatever hilarious thing pops into their heads while a movie of their choosing unfolds on the screen. We don’t know what wacky thing Doug is gonna cook up for us in honor of the festival, but we do know it will be hilarious and stoned.

And last but not least, the major announcement of the day...

Pete and Pete Reunion

The Adventures of Pete and Pete imprinted a generation with its magical and moving mixture of mystery, sweetness, strangeness, and humor -- how we remember childhood at its best Last year, when we did a Pete and Pete Reunion at the Silent Movie Theatre, it sold out in hours...it was clearly bigger than all of us.

So this year, as Cinefamily’s Everything is Festival comes to a close, and FYF Fest begins, we are excited to unite our powers for good and bring to you the ultimate Pete and Pete Reunion to end all Pete and Pete reunion shows.  We’ll assemble on one stage virtually the entire population of Wellsville (from its creators to its residents), to wax nostalgic about the quintessential show about nostalgia, to explicate inside jokes, to deconstruct the immaculate mechanism behind the show’s making, and to have a great time.  We’ll be flashing Petunia tattoos, eating Mr. Tastee ice cream, getting “loaded” on Orange Lazarus, and, for the first and (maybe) last time in history, listening to our favorite songs from the band POLARIS -- who are reuniting for this special show.  This is Woodstock for Kreb Scouts, kiddies, and you’ll wanna say you were there (or you’ll be lying about it later, anyways.)  Clear your calendar.  Get on a plane.   Evade the International Adult Conspiracy.  Just don’t be a jerkweed, and do what it takes, cause you don’t wanna miss this show!

Now here's the deal.....it's time to get that Cinefamily membership you've been wanting. Not only will you get into all the onsite Everything is Festival events free, not only will you get into all the other cinefamily events free,  but for special offsite events like these (and we have one or two more up our sleeve), Cinefamily members will get the first access to presales. For 48 previous hours, you, The Cinefamily will be able to buy tickets before anyone else.

Don’t be a dweeb guys, get your membership now so you can immerse yourself fully in the magic we have to give.

Stay tuned for more exciting announcements.

I love you, bye.


Dragon Sound said...

Really? The most important announcement of our time and everyone is going to comment on facebook? Fuck that. Gotta go straight to the source.

You KNOW I want to enter the Battle Royale, but you KNOW that I have to Skype it if I do. Let me know the criteria or if it is limited only to those who show up in person (which it should be, I suppose)!

Dave said...

I wish I could be there to see it.

Eric said...

What's the scheduuuuuuule

23 Wolves said...

Good point, Dragon Sound. I would like to officially register my excitement.