GRAAAAAAAAVE DIGGGGGGGER!!!!

Just because you're a munch and you didn't get your weekend passes in time, you can still get individual tickets for all shows at EVERYTHING IS FESTIVAL!

A NIGHT TO REMEMBER...

Come in costume, and we will treat you like royalty.

DUANES GET IN FREE!!!

THE PROP COMIC PREACHER

I don't get what I'm doing wrong. I'm literally covered in covenant blood and I feel nothing...

HOMESCHOOL HELL!

Part 3 in the ongoing series "Future Schlock's reasons to never have children"

THIS MOVIE WILL KICK YOUR TEETH IN

People, PEOPLE! Listen up.

Zack Carlson and the famous ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE are giving us a fucking gift this Saturday specifically for the one and only EVERYTHING IS FESTIVAL!!! You simply cannot watch this trailer and not compulsively buy a ticket to Los Angeles. There's just no other option. Seriously, 99 times out of a hundred we make those 2 Minute Movies because watching them in their entirety is like having your eyes gouged out by a trance DJ, mid set. Not this one, though. From the first frame to the glorious last this thing sums up everything that is Everything Is Terrible! It's simply a one-of-a-kind gem-bone.

SURE, WHY NOT AN EGG RAP?

Motherfuckers act like they forgot about eggs.

2EVERYTHING2TOURDIARY7!

This week was our long-awaited return to the loving embrace of Texas and the Alamo Drafthouse. Despite van troubles we rolled in just in time for a sold-out show at the Alamo Lake Creek in Austin, then to Houston for a joint birthday celebration for the Commodore and Bob at the Alamo West Oaks, and then we finished the weekend in San Antonio at the Alamo West Lakes:


(thanks to Jaz for the pic)

Then we bid a tearful goodbye to Austin, home of breakfast tacos and swimming holes, with our triumphant return to the Alamo Ritz! This time we had all our cords in hand and everything went great. Zack, John, and Bret (and everyone else at the Drafthouse), you guys are amazing.

Now we're in New Mexico! Finally, a place where we blend in!



Special thanks to Kief at the Guild, D-Cat for planning tonight's show at the Ubermind, Fat Worm of Error for the noise, and Jenna, ABQ's street teamer extraordinaire, for the bag of 27 Jerrys!



Tomorrow night at 8:30 we'll be in Denver at the Starz Film Center! See you there, Colorado! Booyah!

EVERYTHING IS FESTIVAL, MY NINJAS!

Promise you won't throw rocks and feces at us and we'll promise not to take our tops off. Deal?

SPECIAL SUPER SURPRISE SHOW!

yahoo Albuquerque!

MORE NEW AGE ATROCITIES!

We've warned you here, and here before people! Maybe these two chuckleheads can get you to wake up... the New Age Movement is organized and it is (slowly) ruining us all!



Albuquerque! Come see us tonight (August 19th) at the Guild Cinema @ 9:15PM SHARP! It's gonna knock yer dicks off!

THIS VIDEO WAS ONCE $500

Thankfully the seller was patient enough to met me in the middle at a cool fourteen bucks.



And it looks like we've hit the bigtime!

SOMETHING SMELLS TERRIBLE

My grandmother had an entire guest bedroom FILLED TO THE CEILING with this shit. To this day, I can't smell roses.



THE QUEST FOR THE MAGICK CRYSTAL IS COMING TO ALBUQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO THIS THURSDAY!

LET'S END CYBERBULLYING!

We have a lot of laughs here (allegedly), but it can be easy to forget that these are all real people with real emotions. For that, you should all be ashamed of yourselves. Hopefully this guilt trip will show you the error of your ways.



Thanks again to Jim Lauwers for the tape!

AUSTIN! THE QUEST FOR THE MAGICK CRYSTAL CONTINUES TONIGHT AT 7PM AT THE ALAMO RITZ! GET YER TICKETS!

2EVERYTHING2TOURDIARY6!

So this is our second week



And holy shit you guys, Florida. Home of boob magnets and mailboxes shaped like manatees and Dinosaur World!

First we went to Gainesville and met the sweet folks at Spin Cycle and the awesome Amanda Justice of Video Rodeo, who screened VHS for us in her backyard at 4am! It was another sweaty night, but everyone had a great time and Keaton even got some video:



Then we rocked Miami, where we had some truly excellent Terriblites in masks made specially for the occasion! Great work guys!

In Orlando we met back up with our friends Greg, Yazan and Dima aka Heart of Darkness and Mother of Three, who forgave us of all our sins yet again!





We finished out the week in Tampa and New Orleans, but all we can remember about those shows are party dawgs in tank tops and carryout daquiris that smelled like paint thinner. Spring break!

Oh, and Max in the Tron shirt in Tampa. Hi Max.

SPIKE IT... STRAIGHT TO MY HEART

Ok, ok, so your pal Ghoul Skool has been a little busy lately. In fact, with this FESTIVAL in the making and all the work that's going into it, I'm sort of losing my mind (Got your tickets yet?? This thing WILL sell out, so please hurry so I can sleep tonight). Anyway, what I am trying to say is, I don't have a video this week. BUT you all may recall a young man who made this for the Tuff Enuff contest a little while back. Well folks, Jordan has returned and this time brings us his take on the 3 Minute Movie, and truth be told... I'm worried this guy might be getting a little too big for his britches. So when this guy has his own found footage show and is a big time star, at least we can say we taught him everything he knows. Enjoy!

THE EVENT TO END ALL EVENTS!!!

Imagine a weekend where all your fantasies come true. A weekend where you can just be...free. Laugh until your sides literally split open, and feel as cool as a skateboarding, shade-tippin' dog. We're talking about the festival to end all film festivals -- Everything Is Festival! (aka the 10th Annual Gathering Of The Terribles)! For reasons beyond our control (God's plan), we at Cinefamily are giving the found footage freaks... at Everything Is Terrible! free range of the weekend, and letting them do whatever the hell they want (note: we did have to say “no” to the all-night helicopter foam party). This makes it the official L.A. premiere of their latest mash-up feature-length film, 2Everything 2Terrible 2: Tokyo Drift, not to mention some of EIT!’s favorite movies in their uncut glory, plus dance parties, BBQs, a return of the Cinefamily Found Footage Battle Royal, and top-secret über-rare prints from the vaults of Cinefamily and Austin, TX’s famous Alamo Drafthouse! If that wasn't enough to drench your dick, EIT! will also be playing assorted madness from all their favorite pals they've met on their mystical journey: TV Carnage, Waverly Films, Rob Schrab, Black Magic Roller Coaster and tons more! Overall, we promise it will be the most fun you'll ever have at this dump! Think Sundance, but for discerning slobs like you! Swag-bags for folks who buy weekend passes! The only thing we ask is to bring along your old friend...Imagination!

DAY ONE (August 28th):
- Spend the day with EIT! and friends as we play tons of unseen gems, old friends, etc. focusing on KIDS, CHRISTIAN MADNESS, AND BORING STUFF!
- 2Everything 2Terrible 2: Tokyo Drift (official L.A. premiere!)
- Super rare/amazing screening of 'Miami Connection' presented by the world famous ALAMO DRAFHOUSE!
-Total Madness Dance Party (aka Night Of 1000 Duanes!)

DAY TWO (August 29th):
- ALL DAY BBQ!
- Special one-of-a-kind screening with top secret celebrity guests! (you will not want to miss this)
- Found Footage Battle Royale!!!
- epic big-ass shindig to follow!

MORE INFO HERE!

RAPPIN' MATHEMATICS!

"BRAZIL" - TAKE NO DAMAGE

I just heard on the internet that Take No Damage is scheduled to record a new album in September, just in time for the apocalypse. You heard it here first.



Here's the kinda stuff they've been doing since 2008: Short Pockets and Country Death.

THE ARRIVAL

Your ancestors sold out to intergalactic scammers and now cosmic hipppies have come to raise your consciousness. Pretty standard stuff for evolving into a spiritual energy being of pure love oscillation...



Much, much more Unarius stuff coming soon!

ORLANDO! THE QUEST FOR THE MAGICK CRYSTAL CONTINUES TONIGHT AT 8PM AT WILL'S PUB! GET YER TICKETS!

WEEKEND KOMMERCIAL KORNER!

This ain't your stupid parents' church.


Hey, kids, you like corndogs? (Courtesy of Eric Seelig)


And here's something for people that only have cellphones because they are shiny.


MIAMI! THE QUEST FOR THE MAGICK CRYSTAL CONTINUES TONIGHT AT COSFORD CINEMA AT 8PM! GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!

2EVERYTHING2TOURDIARY 5!

We started this week with an excellent show at the International House in Philly, where Everything Is Terrible: the Van got a new addition courtesy of our own Cmdre. Gilgamesh:



From there, we pointed our van due South, and sweet mother of Duane it is hot down here.

Despite the coma-inducing heat, we managed to do sweet shows at the Varsity Theater in Chapel Hill, NC and the Olde North Charleston Picture House in (where else) North Charleston, SC, where we met the greatest dogs of all time, Lloyd and Diane!



After that it was a sweaty ride to Hotlanta, where we had an absolutely amazing crowd at the Plaza theater! Booyah Geoff and all the other party dawgs at the Plaza! Booyah Atlanta! An extra special booyah to Brian Kelly, bearer of 39 Jerries and the newest priest of our cult of self-completion!








After the tragic loss of Airwave Ranger to another cult, we made our way to Athens, Ga, where we did a double bill of shows at the fabulous CineBar, to which we apologize again for setting off the fire alarm. Yonder Vittles' demand that our new roadie "fog the shit out of the place" may have been a little extreme. But another extra special booyah to Jamie and the rest of the staff of the fabulous Grit, the only place on tour where we've eaten twice in 24 hours. Seriously dudes, it is awesome.

Now we are in Gainesville, FL, where tonight we fog the shit out of Spin Cycle! Doors at 8:30, show at 9:00! BOOYAH!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, NOW IS YOUR CHANCE TO SHINE

Ok, folks. This is it!!! The main event for the 1st Annual EVERYTHING IS FESTIVAL is where The Cinefamily and EIT! ask YOU to show us what you got and wow us for once. Here's how it works:

- Anyone is welcome to enter.
- Submissions can vary from an unseen youtube clip to a fully edited piece. We obviously want creativity, but really this is about showing off gems. Whatever the clip may be, just think t yourself 'Will this go over well with an audience of screaming maniacs?
- Each contestant must have a total of 5 CLIPS ready for show and sent to us by August 23rd.
- Once we take a took at everyone's submissions, 16 lucky contestants will be chosen.
- Clips cannot be longer than 2 MINUTES MAX! Anything longer will be cut short.
- Submissions can be sent to us a number of ways: They can be DVD's dropped off at The Cinefamily, mailed to The Cinefamily at 611 N. Fairfax Avenue
Los Angeles, California 90036 or emailed to us at whatsupeit at gmail dot com. We will take many formats, but since this stuff is going to be projected on the big screen, the bigger the quality, the better.
- Costumes, character backgrounds, etc. are encouraged.
- Taunting and mocking of other contestants is also appreciated as long as it's non-violent and/or creepy.
- The winner will recieve a number of amazing prizes, including DVD's, shirts, other things we gather from now until then, and.... DINNER WITH EIT! AT CANTER'S DELI! IN FULL COSTUME!

...We promise not to embarrass you. Now go out there and start collecting shit!

BALLOONACY!

Not as interesting as you might think.

2.5-MINUTE COMPUTER WIZARD

Oh for the days when a kid could be a terrorist and hackers didn't need computers at all...



THE QUEST FOR THE MAGICK CRYSTAL CONTINUES TONIGHT IN ATLANTA, GEORGIA AT THE PLAZA THEATRE!

BP CARES...ABOUT THE RAPTURE!

NORTH CHARLESTON! THE QUEST FOR THE MAGICK CRYSTAL CONTINUES TONIGHT AT THE OLDE NORTH CHARLESTON PICTURE HOUSE AT 7PM!

THE PHONE DID IT...

But which one? So many suspicious looking phones! Seriously, is there a less menacing object than a phone? Look for the sequel, Murder By Three Hole Punch, coming soon!

CHAPEL HILL! THE QUEST FOR THE MAGICK CRYSTAL CONTINUES TONIGHT AT THE VARSITY THEATRE! 9:30PM!