IT'S A TERRIBLE CHRISTMAS GERBERT

This video suuuuure would look good under the tree.

CBS CARES ABOUT YOUR PROSTATE

And remember, HIV tests make for fabulous Valentine's Day presents. Happy Holidays!

$ALE OF THE CENTURY!

Merry Christmas.

WHEN MACHO MEN RULED THE EARTH

Even when wrestlers were trying to look as tough as possible back then, their theme songs make the Jonas Brothers look like GG Allin.

FLIRTING WITH MAGIC

I'll let the testimonials from the back of the box handle this:
"What a great way to meet chicks!" - Bob - Single, 25
"Your magic tricks blew me away!" - Cathy - Single, 30 Something
"After my divorce, my social skills needed help; your flirting course did the trick!" - Barry - Divorced, 45



No....I'm not a weirdo.

FUTURE SCHLOCK IN EXILE NO MORE!

Ok, we have a new Youtube account and we're working on uploading everything to Vimeo too in case something like this happens again. All the videos should be playable now, with the exception of "The Gay Agenda," which is a troublemaker so it will stay down for now. If you see any broken links we missed, please let us know in the comments and they will be fixed.

Here's an oldie but a goodie, one of the videos that inspired us to get into this crazy game: Click Clack Raps.



Now let us never speak of this ordeal again.

CD MAKIN'

A PROMISE KEEPER'S GIRL'S NIGHT OUT

SUZIE IS FAT AND I'M NOT!

TERRIBLE BEGETS TERRIBLE WHICH BEGETS TERRIBLE BEGETS TERRIBLE WHICH BEGETS TERRIBLE BEGETS TERRIBLE WHICH BEGETS TERRIBLE

AND YOU THOUGHT BLAGOJEVICH WAS A BONER!

Gordon Liddy takes a turn for the terrible.

EXPOSING THE HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA

Oppressing other people to cover up your own sexual insecurities is a tough job, but someone's gotta do it.

For the record, this video does not reflect the views of Future Schlock. We think these homophobes are insane assholes, too.

UPDATE: Sorry, this video is TOO HOT for the internet.

IMMORTALITY THROUGH THE POWER OF POSITIVITY

ROOM SERVICE SAUSAGE PARTY

The only thing on the menu is cucumber.

GOING ON A MAN HUNT!

This video teaches the ancient, desperate art of hunting the elusive creature known as man.



For more info, please purchase twelve audio cassettes.

ACTORS PLAYING RETARDS ARE PEOPLE TOO!

I think there's some kind of message to be taken from this.


From the collection of Lucien P Singer.

I WISH SEINFELD HAD BEEN BORN A GIRL

Or maybe not...

WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE

When a Mentor D.A.R.E. officer makes a rock opera, this is what happens...



And yes, that's Cleveland's own Li'l John popping pills.

BAD DOGS

Dogville is truly the gift that keeps on giving.



More Dogville here and here.

CAVEMEN ARE NATURE'S HIPPIES

MANDROIDS, CAVEMEN, KUNG FU AND INDIANA JONES...

...Eliminators has it all.



Thanks to Ghoul Skool for the tip.

UPDATE: Because no mere snippet of Eliminators can do it proper justice, some beautiful soul has uploaded the entire movie.

MONSTER TRUCK OF VENGEANCE

The only way to get revenge on a family of murderous rednecks is to build a kick ass truck.

VANNA WHITE IS BETTER THAN YOU

EIT INTERVIEW!

Check it out here!

SCARIEST. INTRO. EVER.

BURT KEEPS GETTING OLDER, SHE STAYS THE SAME AGE

Oh Malone.

BAM BAM BIGELOW CAN MAKE UP WORDS

Good night, sweet prince...

GLITTER N' GOLD

TIME TO GET IT ON, T. BONE...

The following is the recipe to end all of the world's problems.

A MAN AND HIS MOTORCYCLE

GOD BLESS THE NON-BELIEVERS...

...for without them, Christians would stop making videos like these.

An ex-biker pirate performs an autopsy for kids from the same kids show as "God is Not a Child Abuser."



No suicide pact will stop Freedom Village USA:

CHRISTIAN PUPPETS CAN BE SO CRUEL

CREEPS!

A collection of the creepiest creeps that ever creeped.

WHAT A TERRIBLE WORLD

GOD IS NOT A CHILD ABUSER

Not that anyone's accusing him of it...

BLANCHE LOVES SEX AND CATS

Everyone's favorite Golden Girl is crazy for cats!

LEARN HIP HOP DANCE FROM A CROSSDRESSING POWER RANGER!

It was nice of the producers to make the black guy the Black Ranger and the Asian girl the Yellow Ranger. It makes it easier for racists to tell them apart.

Also the Red Ranger (who really should have been Native American for consistency) dances just like Mac from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

SHOCKING INTERVIEW WITH A MYSTERIOUS ASSHOLE

This post is terminated.

RICHARD SIMMONS & THE SILVER FOXES

Would you like to exercise with your favorite celebrities' parents? How about with Richard Simmons in blackface? How about both?

PAGE 34!

I am sorry to present this clip with all the censorship and boobage, but this one has always been a personal favorite...

BREATHE, WEIRDO, BREATHE

BLOGGIO SAVED THE VIDEO STARS

Just when we thought no one cared, an onslaught of blogs have been so awesome in helping us spread the word. And the word is 'terrible.'

So, thanks everyone and welcome home.

ARE YOU PREPARED?

Apparently they are still waiting for that spaceship...

TMNT: BEHIND THE MUSIC

SURFING FOR SENIORS

This just seems to mock old people more than help them.

THE BALLAD OF VINCENT

Check out the trailer for the upcoming Vincent documentary at Zweeble Films.

USING MAGIC TO FIGHT DRUG ABUSE

Unlike those secular magicians, Duane Laflin is not afraid to tackle the big issues of life with tricks and illusions.



For more about Duane Laflin, please go to Laflin Magic to learn how to spice up your upcoming interventions.

THE RETURN OF HAWK JONES

Due to popular demand, here's some more Hawk Jones.

SNUGGIE VS. SLANKET

Until those EIT shirts are readily available, I suggest we look at the exciting new world of shirt-blanket fusion technology.



And then there's The Slanket...so we've got some options.

EDUCATION + HARD WORK - DRUGS = SUCCESS & THE AMERICAN DREAM

Drew Brown encourages everyone to get high without using drugs.



And from the Christian sketch comedy show (!) Fire By Nite, this is just painful...

HIS NAME IS WISHING WELL WILLY...

... and he'll trade you a penny for your child's virginity!

KLASSIE KIDS KOMMERCIAL

Courtesy of Stace Mountain.

THE FIRST ZILLION IS ALWAYS THE HARDEST

In these tough economic times, it's important to remember how people used to lose all their money in the good old days: pointless internet companies.



And now a depressing example of a poor go-getter climbing that opportunity ladder to nowhere.

MEANWHILE...IN THE KISS HALL OF JUSTICE

ARE YOU A TERRIBLE PERSON?

HAWK JONES: THE MOVIE WITH THE KIDS IN IT!

MCDONALD'S, COCA-COLA AND THE AMERICAN WAY

Now we all know about the wheelchair kid falling off the cliff and the McDonald's dance scene, but Mac & Me is a pure crap classic with a great message of acceptance.



I believe Americans are finally ready to accept asshole faced aliens as our equals. We're still waiting for a sequel, McDonald's...

THE BOZ IS STONE COLD

LOVE, SEX AND DATING IN THE 90s

From the excellent video The Art of Meeting Men.

INTRODUCING ROBERT Z'DAR

This is the first of hopefully many videos featuring Robert Z'Dar. From IMDB, his acting trademarks are an enormous face and gigantic jaw. Truly, he has the greatest enormous face of his generation.

FABIO'S A TIME FOR ROMANCE

LET'S OBEY STRANGERS ON TV!

Just make sure they have inquisitive puppets...


...or they are a celebrity.


I'm pretty sure this video is what inspired her appearance on The Simpsons.

YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!

A floating two-headed actor demon head tells us how to better ourselves by bettering our bosses' business.

THIS GIVES ME HOPE

So much hope.

BLACK TERRORIST

oh boy.

HULK HOGAN NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION...

... but here are a few anyway. Apparently kids tuning into "Hulk Hogan's Rock'n'Wrestling" needed a warm up and Hulk always does three sets of everything.

Look for a special guest appearance from Meatloaf.
.
From the collection of Ryan Hill.

THE BEST OF BAD NEWS

Cocaine Jesus


Prayer at the Pump


Molested by Bigfoot


Mad Skillz


Elmo Will Kill You

CDRE. GILGAMESH'S THE FUNNY ENUFF SERIES #1

The double "F" is for a double dose of FUNNY!

ONE. COOL. DOG.

THE BEST INTRO TO ANYTHING EVER

*from the collection of Yonder Vittles.

1 VHS, 3 GEMS AND AN UNWATCHABLE FEATURE

6 PACK ANNIE

Thanks Odd Obsession.

HOLY MAGUIRE!

The mother of all Maguirewatches. Will this ever be topped? No.

EXERCISE DOMINION!

THE OLD FLAMING SHOE TRICK

DRUGS

CHRISTIANS CAN ROCK OUT, TOO...

WORLD OF BEANIES!

CASH FLOW GENERATOR

This is old news to the Future Schlock faithful, but until now, there was no other version of this on the innernette.

CLUB VAMPIRE TRAILER

KLASSIC KOMMERCIAL KOLLECTION V

3 MORE FROM THE GODDAMN MORMONS

Life without mormonism

A nonsensical mormon sales pitch

Life with mormonism

EIT SHIRTS ON THE WAY

I have put in a sample order and if all goes well, you too can order your very own Everything Is Terrible shirts, hoodies, and maybe even EIT shoes (I'm serious).

If anyone has any other ideas for shirts they wanna see, just let me know and I promise to design ANYTHING sent to me. The uglier the idea, the better.

DROPPING FAKE ACID ON FAKE MTV

JESUS USED TO BE A FRIEND OF MINE

See this now before Sonseed blows up and hogs the covers of every issue of Spin, NME, and Mojo for the next year...

A GIFT FOR EVERYONE

I apologize for not bringing this to everyone's attention earlier.

A GIFT FOR THE COMMODORE

Chicagoland's own Law Tigers!

MAGUIREWATCH! THE SAGA CONTINUES

2 MINUTE RAVEN

GET STATIONARY WITH CYCLE VISION!

2 MINUTE VULCAN MEETS HIP HOP BODY SHOP

COWABUNGA! WILL MAKE YOU SKINNY...

... or maybe fat, depending.

FELLOWSHIP OF THE BROWNS

If this doesn't keep a smile on your face for the rest of your life, then you're probably an orc. I never thought it could get better than the Superbowl Shuffle, but as Tiny Tim has shown me, it can.

THE PLIGHT OF DOLPH

Like most of you, I have followed the work of Dolph Lundgren for well over two decades. Some claim that he peaked in the titular role of Mark Goldblatt's urban-street-crime-drama-thriller "The Punisher"; others say his career has been on a downhill slope since his turn as the Street Preacher in "Johnny Mnemonic".

But true fans know that Dolph never looked better than he did in the flight suit of Major Jack Holloway in 1999's "Storm Catcher".

I now present to you a scene that was snubbed by the Academy (who gave the Oscar to that so-called "actor" Kevin Spacey), which I have titled:

What Dolph Knows...



And as an added bonus, I present to you:

What Dolph Is Supposed To Have Done...




Visit the official site of the action hero actor Dolph Lundgren.

LOVE SAUCE

Never meant to be.

SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOTTA KILL A BABY.

A scene from Avenging Angel (1985).

EVERYTHING CHANGED WHEN THE PENIS WENT ELECTRIC.

Another scene from Future Fear (1999).

THEY'RE GONNA PUT ME IN THE MOVIES!

*from the collection of Yonder Vittles.

TWO FRIENDS... ONE CALLING

This one's for you, Ghoul. Trust that I'll always believe in you.




From the Collection of Mary Koneski

THOSE DAMNED BLUEBERRY STAINS!

From the Collection of Mary Koneski

IN THE BEGINNING, THERE WAS ONLY CRAP...

HOOTEIRE CINEMA

Today, I present to you a genre of films that really means a lot to me. A genre overlooked by college professors and pretentious jerks everywhere: Ladies and gentlemen I present to you, 'Hooteire Cinema' (aka Hooter Cinema to the laymen).

Cinema historians and critics defined the canon of Hooteire Cinema in retrospect; many of those involved in the making of classic bonerrific movies later professed to be unaware of having created a distinctive type of film. Hooteires embrace a variety of genres, from the strong willed woman trying to make her way as a stripper to support her only son, to the strong willed woman trying to climb the corporate ladder in a cruel, man's world. Although the premises of these films may have been as varied as the protagonists' bikini collection, one fact kept them all together- hooters are awesome.

It's hard to believe, but as far as the critics are concerned, Hooteire Cinema will forever be the surgical scar on the boob job that is modern Hollywood. But I defy any film critic working today to tell me they don't have fond memories of sitting in their parents basement at 1am on a Friday, watching 'The Great Bikini Off Road Adventure' in awe with the sound turned off so their parents don't wake up. I'm getting teary penised just thinking about it.

HOW'S YOUR BOWELS?

A couple weeks ago, I turned on my television to find this little freak trying to sell me some detox product. Sick. Also, is it just me, or does this guy look like an overcooked John Waters?

IT'S TIME

It had to be done.

MEMORIES OF A MILF

Thanks, Marah!

"FRIENDS" BY TAKE NO DAMAGE AND 3 MINUTE "BAND OF THE HAND"

NICE FACE

Fellas, take note: Every woman you've ever met in your life uses this product because they think you might like them more because of it. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

JUST A FANTASY?

No, a reality.

FAT KID FROM SLIDERS BEAT BOXING

I wasn't planning three posts, but something terrible was on when I exited the DVR menu. Seemed like a sign.

INTERVIEW OF THE YEAR

Hurdle-curious.

JESUS IS GETTING WAY TOO CUTESIE

Your Lord and savior has been branding cats for years, but News at Nine made him famous for it.

KLASSIC KOMMERCIAL KOLLECTION IV

TAKE NO DAMAGE - "TWENTY FOUR SEVEN"

If you haven't already, buy their album from All Hail Records.

DIFFERENT TIMES...

Before the internet, this sort of thing was one of just few ways to laugh at stuff. I imagine that anyone over 20 who called this are the same guys who shopped at Spencer's Gifts, and thought The 3 Stooges were the funniest thing ever.

THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES

These three movies prove that you only need to watch the first five minutes to know how good a film is.


Wouldn't the world be better off if everyone had shaved heads, just imagine a baldie utopia.


This little gem is brought to you by the same genius behind Miami Vice.

The opening may seem innocent enough, but trust me everything goes down hill for the graduates of Malibu High.

BLUE COLLAR SUICIDE WATCH

This one's for everyone watching EIT from their cubicle. We've all been here at one point or another, I'm sure.

MORE EVIDENCE THAT THERE IS NO GOD.

Audio Adrenaline - PDA

VIDEO KARAOKE!

I love watching white people make white people look stupid. And in this case I love it even more because somewhere there are white people watching these white people look stupid who look even more stupid than the white people in this video, who look stupid.




*From the collection of Yonder Vittles.

SPINOFFS GONE WILD

We got these DVDs for free at the Comicon. Comicon is a place where people pay large sums of money for worthless shit, so you know this stuff is Terrible.

3 MINUTE FUTURESPORT

Playtime is over. He's in the game on behalf of the world. Special. Highly original. Turbo-charged thrill ride. 3 minutes long.

Rastafari!

IT'S INFOMERCIAL DAY AT EIT!

Say what you will about the withered souls of infomercial producers, but they sure do know who watches paid programming at 3 am:

stupid people,


girls with low self-esteem (and the creepy men who prefer them that way),



and budding serial killers.


Oh, and, uhm, us.

JESUS, IS DAT YOU?

Hey gang! Let's round up some leis and sheets and reenact the life of our savior!

A SCENE FROM FUTURE FEAR

T IS FOR TERRIBLE

Mr. T reminds us of what it means to be Terrible.

10 OUTTA 10 WHITE CARIBBEAN RHYTHMS AGREE "420!"

Being a member of the Kottonmouth Kings and posse looks like fun, but I'd bet being in the KKK in their heyday was a real hootenanny too. If anyone can watch all 4 minutes and 20 seconds of this, I'll buy you a Take 5.

THIS HOLIDAY SEASON...

...a down and out John Travolta proves that dogs don't need to talk to be a part of talking dogs month.



...a boy and his dinosaur friend show us all that something will always triumph over something else, or something.

STAY OFF THAT DUST

It's been a while, but the siren song of crap has called Future Schlock back to the fold. Please accept this video (from the highly recommended Death Drug) as a token of our apologies.

LOOK AT THIS VIDEO I FOUND...

Weird, huh? According to the VHS tape i found it off of, it says it was made around 1982. Guess we'll be using it from now on...

YOU MUGS...

Looks like this ad is causing quite a stir on the internet...

TALKING DOGS MONTH (PART 2)

MORON MOVIES

TIME OUT

Since Commodore left for good, almost none of you have commented or shown in any way that you care. Your punishment shall be one Moron Movies clip a day until someone else posts or shows EIT some love.



Now go and think about what you've done.

I'M THE SHERIFF A' THIS HERE PHANTOM TOWN...

In high school, a bunch of us guys saw this trailer while having one of our little sleep overs. We weren't high, drunk, or methed out, but we thought this trailer was the funniest this ever. We rewound this over and over, rented the full length movie at parties, and talked it over for honestly hours at lunch and at free periods.

What the fuck were we laughing at?

A PIRATE RAP? JUST FOR ME?

I would have posted the whole song, but unless you're really high, it kinda drags on. Anyway, this buried treasure is from a Christian public access show from the 80's hosted by a man named Captain Hook. The Cap'n's story is a bit sad however. He was a biker from Indiana and lived life fast, until one day he lost a leg and an arm after wiping out on his chopper. He became a born again that very same day, and before his death had a 20 year career in television. The good news is that his show is supposedly still being broadcast in certain parts of the country, and lived the end of his days in sunny Hawaii, sippin' on non-alcoholic mai-tai's...

AN AVERAGE DAY IN 1985

Back then, we called these 'Mondays.'

SINBAD TAPES FOR THE RICH

A TERRIBLE DEAL

What kind of asshole bear takes a bite out of every brownie before selling it? Can't you get hepatitis from bear saliva?

THIS AIN'T YOUR DADDY'S RECYCLING VIDEO

Recycling has a whole new look, buster.



Oh, and just in case you didn't hate Billy Joel enough...

HEY, SATAN! WANNA PLAY?

Okay, this clip is awesome for so many reasons. It really isn't 'terrible' at all. It's really just horrifying. Here's what I like about it.
1. The kids speak to the devil as if he is their new best friend, even though he sounds like Thom Yorke crying through a low pass filter-sweep.
2. At 1:51, the girl looks like she's about to light an apple to smoke out of.
3. Mark Twain doesn't give a fuck about those kids, and he just stands there and thinks while they enter hell.
4. No child could watch this and not cry. I almost did.

IF THESE DOGS COULD TALK

July is Talking Dogs Month at EIT, and I can't help but celebrate a little bit early. Enjoy...
Obviously, thanks to the geniuses at Future Schlock for the anti-drug bit.

HAS ANYTHING CHANGED?

Just in case anyone thinks I, Ghoul Skool, cannot also be terrible, well... Take a look at this...


I am no better than anyone.

LITTLE RICHIE FLIPS HIS LID!

Making fun of Richard Simmons is sort of like complaining about Bush. They're both completely insane, and anything you say about either if them ends with your friend going 'Yeah, no doi.' But after all is said and done, you can't wait to see either of those koo-koo birds screw up. So, until Bush goes down with a bang, here's this!

TAP! TAP! TAP!

SO LONG, BO

It's a little late, but this one goes out to the late, great Bo Diddley. We forgive you, sir.

THE COMMODORE SAYS GOODBYE

I just thought I'd let all you lil EIT-ers out there in Terrible Land know that I am going to be taking a month long vacation from our crappy little blog. I'm having brain surgery. Here's a few more bad 80's commercials for the road.

CRANK DAT TAPPERCISE (TELL EM)

What a weekend.

MATH GETS YOU LAID

It's True. Math gets you the love and affection of second rate pop-stars. Does anyone know the quadratic formula of my boner? Hello!

ME & MY CREEPY LITTLE SHADOWS

Phil Donahue dances the night away with a gang of Mini Donahue-Bots created specifically for his pleasure.

AH, SO

This one's for you, Commodore....

RIGHT ON!

Retro Bill is down with the kids. He knows our style, our attitude, our way of life. Cool!

RACE RELATIONS - MIAMI STYLE!

From the film "Band of the Hand" produced by Michael Mann!

RUSH!

MAGUIRE WATCH! STAGE 1

EIT presents 'Maguire Watch.' Anytime you see more than 4 copies of Jerry Maguire at a thrift or used video store, take a photo and add it to the pile. I have a feeling this could either go nowhere, or blow up. So please, have those camera phones ready, people (or Joel).

SUPER SOAKER 50's 15 MINUTES

LADY ROCKY

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT KIDS.

Send 'em to war. Hell, I was smart enough to live through Desert Storm trading cards.

NICE FACE

Are we just creating pop stars using 'The Sims' now? I don't know who this guy is, but he gives me the case of the creeps.

COME VISIT HELL.

This is the video that Satan mails to the elderly to convince them to move to central Florida.

3 MORE FROM THE ROTTEN BOWELS OF 1980's ADVERTISING

Fresh breath! Just like plants have!


I'm glad the Marines are trying to keep young people from dying. It is very nice of them.


The Mighty Mouth

COMMODORE GILGAMESH PRESENTS THE KLASSIC KOMMERCIAL KOLLECTION #1

What the fuck does he mean by 'you people?'


A shout out to the drab existence of the OH!


Finally, a watch that is a ring and a ring that is a watch! What'll LA come up with next?

KEVIN SMITH SUCKS

So, I am in Cleveland this week, and finally got my EyeTV Hybrid working. With all the tapes I got here it looks like Ghoul Skool is finally ready to post original content for once. Anyway, I thought I would start off with this li'l stinker, only because it stars one of our own, Commodore Gilgamesh. I don't know why this was made, nor did I even knew it existed until last night. But it belongs here as much as any other pile of poo. More to come!

THIS ONE IS FOR DANNY MALLORY

From The Car (1977).

TERRIBLE EN ESPANOL

STICK 'EM

There is nothing Terrible about The Fat Boys, except the fact that they prove how Terrible everything else really is.

MOMMY AND BLUE SCREEN WORKOUT

FUCK BATMAN.

I'M GLAD I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN

IT'S AWESOME!!!

Mr. Gilgamesh hates it when I post videos found on YouTube, but what does he expect me to do after finding these nuggs? No matter what happens, I want either of these announcers to do the eulogy at my funeral.

FUTURE SCHLOCK IS BACK

STREAKS ON THE CHINA

Those were the days...

SOMETIMES THERE'S SO MUCH TERRIBLE IN THE WORLD I FEEL LIKE I CAN'T TAKE IT.

Seriously, this video made me think my heart was caving in. I'm not sure what a nervous breakdown is, but Jump 5 had me on the edge. I don't even know if it is the right kind of Terrible. All I know is that I sat through it and it hurt, so I guess now it is your turn to feel my pain. God damn it, if only I was strong enough to kill myself...

SHAQ'S COMEDY ROAST II

Ha. They let Shaq make two comedy roasts. Do you think they'd let Shaq murder puppies and babies on TV, if he asked real nice?

A STORY FROM MY YOUTH

It was 1989. I saw this commercial and was sold. I asked for the Pepsi can Computer Warrior for my birthday. I got what I wanted. After my party was over, my best friend and I began tallying my haul. In my infinite prickdom, I decided that I should have total control of the Pepsi can Computer Warrior. We fought. He left and we didn't speak for nearly a month. By that time the Pepsi can Computer Warrior was retired to the land of boring-ass toys. I had forgotten all of this until I popped in a VHS that I found at the Salvation Army. Heh.

TREES!

We may love trees here at EIT, but we definitely hate these dickweeds.

SCHLOCK PARTY

With apologies to our non-Chicago EIT-ers, a little self-promotion (which, if the city concil has its way, will soon be very expensive here)

DOWN WITH PEOPLE

This is a music video that I made for Take No Damage. I'm not sure if it is entirely appropriate for EIT, but hell, it is made from bad video. If you'd like to buy their album, go to All Hail Records.

ANGELA LANSBURY MASTURBATES IN A TUB

LET'S KICK SOME ICE, ARNIE

OH, BOLLYWOOD

You're so reliably crazy it almost feels like cheating.