As EIT After Dark draws to a close, here's one last thing you can't unsee. Pleasant wet nightmares!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
EROTICISE!
All you need is a pair of leg warmers, a hot tub, and four buxom friends.
LIFE-SAVING ALERT: THIS VIDEO MIGHT NOT BE ACCEPTABLE FOR VIEWING AT YOUR PLACE OF BUSINESS BECAUSE IT MAY CONTAIN VAGINAS!
LIFE-SAVING ALERT: THIS VIDEO MIGHT NOT BE ACCEPTABLE FOR VIEWING AT YOUR PLACE OF BUSINESS BECAUSE IT MAY CONTAIN VAGINAS!
CIRCLE JERKIN'!
Boy, this "EIT After Dark" week sure has been a sausage fest, eh ladies? What this blog needs is a good old-fashioned womyn's circle jerk jamboree!
(Oh, and if the multiple "circle jerk" references didn't tip you off, this video is epically NSFMW. You have been officially warned.)
Phew, I feel much better. Talk about honoring the goddess within!
(Oh, and if the multiple "circle jerk" references didn't tip you off, this video is epically NSFMW. You have been officially warned.)
Phew, I feel much better. Talk about honoring the goddess within!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
THE SEXIEST SEXUAL HARASSMENT PARTY IN TOWN!
If there's one thing I've learned from this lifestyle of 'Trash Compacting,' it's that the entertainment biz sure hates a lady. And can you blame them? Here we are, trying to get a job done and these bodacious bimbos come along and expect me to perform without distraction? Please. They come walking into work with their neon bikinis and their poofy hair; I have a family for god sakes! NSFW but trust me, it's worth getting fired over this. Instead of going through the same old bureaucratic bullshit, try being a total dick and you'll see your life changing for the better... Or should I say boner!
THE GLAMOUROUS LADIES OF WRESTLING SHUFFLE
Everything about this clip is so 'USA Up All Night.' The pastels, the 'babes,' the douche host, ugly humor, etc. I wonder if any of them are still trying to make a go of their careers and living a 'Ram Jam' lifestyle. Look at me blabbering on...
Take it away, gals!
Take it away, gals!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
WILDLY SPECULATIVE CELEBRITY SEX SECRETS!!!
Humans, by nature, have a basic need for the hottest factually questionable gossip about celebrity genitalia. Who better to tell it than porn stars, prostitutes, one night stands and ex-employees with absolutely nothing to gain from the exposure?
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
QUIT TOBACCO, BUT STILL SMOKIN'
You can be a jerk all you want about this one, but I truly think that this is one cool granny. Have a good weekend, pals!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
COWS ARE JERKS!
Geraldine's had a chip on her shoulder ever since Higgins called her fat at last year's Christmas party.
...and for our fans in Tokyo (all 4 of you), exciting news! Everything Is Terrible is making its Japanese debut at Warehouse 702's London Calling night this February 12, with Terrible visuals provided by me, Future Schlock*!
(*I must mention that I will not actually be at this show!)
...and for our fans in Tokyo (all 4 of you), exciting news! Everything Is Terrible is making its Japanese debut at Warehouse 702's London Calling night this February 12, with Terrible visuals provided by me, Future Schlock*!
(*I must mention that I will not actually be at this show!)
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
THIS SINGING BABY IS ALL GROWN UP!
And give us your Jerrys! Because...
There is an autographed copy of Matthew Matney's Favorites on VHS in our possession. This tape will be given to one lucky person out there in Terribleland! All you have to do is give us the most Jerrys. You have 30 days. Seriously, whoever gives us the most Jerrys will receive this one-of-a-kind gem! Booya!
Monday, January 18, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
OUR NEW INTRO
From now on all of our new posts, exclusive content, and all live shows will open with this...
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
UNLOCK THE SECRETS OF THE TEEN NINJA MYSTERY
What is it with ninja masters bringing young children into their caves?
Saturday, January 09, 2010
GIVE US YOUR JERRYS (AND OTHER TAPES)!!!!
Hey gang,
It's time for us to clear up a little misconception that's been bugging us for the past year. Contrary to somewhat popular belief, we don't reedit or repost videos from Youtube or any other video hosting site. Every video posted on EIT has been lovingly crafted from the direct source VHS tape as nature intended.
Recently, we've been sent a lot of links to funny internet videos, the most Terrible of which we have "Re-Tweeted"© on our Twitter account. While we want you to keep sending us links because we like a good lol as much as the next blogger, what we really want is tapes. We know you've still got them in your attic, basement, area thrift shop and mountain of broken VCRs and we want them.
So here's what to do: send us an email with a brief description of the tape at everythingisterriblefund@gmail.com. We have a lot of tapes already and don't want you to waste money sending us something we already have. If we use your tape on the site, we'll put your name or a link to your website in the post. We may even give out special prizes to those with the most Terrible tapes. And if you want the tape back, we'll mail it back to you and reimburse your shipping cost. There's nothing to lose and world wide internet fame to gain!
That being said, there is one tape (or the One Tape) that we want every copy of and that magical tape is Jerry Maguire. Here at EIT, we have a special history with Jerry Maguire. For over a year, we've been chronicling wild packs of Maguires in their native thrift store habitat with our patented Maguirewatches, and during that time, we decided to start a Jerry Maguire sanctuary to preserve these great artifacts. Our goal is to have the largest private collection of Jerry Maguire VHS tapes in the history of mankind and we need your help. If you or somebody you know has a VHS copy of Jerry Maguire that needs a loving home, please donate it to us at:
Everything is Terrible!
P.O. Box 47924
Chicago, IL 60647 USA
Don't let another orphaned Jerry sit forgotten in a cold, dark bargain bin. Send it home to our bathtub where it belongs. Thank you.
It's time for us to clear up a little misconception that's been bugging us for the past year. Contrary to somewhat popular belief, we don't reedit or repost videos from Youtube or any other video hosting site. Every video posted on EIT has been lovingly crafted from the direct source VHS tape as nature intended.
Recently, we've been sent a lot of links to funny internet videos, the most Terrible of which we have "Re-Tweeted"© on our Twitter account. While we want you to keep sending us links because we like a good lol as much as the next blogger, what we really want is tapes. We know you've still got them in your attic, basement, area thrift shop and mountain of broken VCRs and we want them.
So here's what to do: send us an email with a brief description of the tape at everythingisterriblefund@gmail.com. We have a lot of tapes already and don't want you to waste money sending us something we already have. If we use your tape on the site, we'll put your name or a link to your website in the post. We may even give out special prizes to those with the most Terrible tapes. And if you want the tape back, we'll mail it back to you and reimburse your shipping cost. There's nothing to lose and world wide internet fame to gain!
That being said, there is one tape (or the One Tape) that we want every copy of and that magical tape is Jerry Maguire. Here at EIT, we have a special history with Jerry Maguire. For over a year, we've been chronicling wild packs of Maguires in their native thrift store habitat with our patented Maguirewatches, and during that time, we decided to start a Jerry Maguire sanctuary to preserve these great artifacts. Our goal is to have the largest private collection of Jerry Maguire VHS tapes in the history of mankind and we need your help. If you or somebody you know has a VHS copy of Jerry Maguire that needs a loving home, please donate it to us at:
Everything is Terrible!
P.O. Box 47924
Chicago, IL 60647 USA
Don't let another orphaned Jerry sit forgotten in a cold, dark bargain bin. Send it home to our bathtub where it belongs. Thank you.
Friday, January 08, 2010
THE MOST BORING VIDEO GAME EVER!
Just pop this tape in, take aim, and watch while the images onscreen respond in no way to your actions. ACTION MAX!
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
GOD IS A DICKHOLE
The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away your water, medicine, and fake nails....
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
THE MASTODON MILK WORKOUT
The Mastodons are anthropomorphic racist stereotypes that want you to drink milk and, to a lesser extent, exercise. Look for their barely animated adventures in your local dairy aisle.
Thanks again to 23 Wolves for another great tape.
Thanks again to 23 Wolves for another great tape.
Monday, January 04, 2010
CONFUSE YOURSELF WITH MAGIC
If regular card games aren't confusing enough for you, try Magic!
Got it? No? These guys did, and now they are on ESPN2! I bet you've never been on ESPN2. Loser.
Got it? No? These guys did, and now they are on ESPN2! I bet you've never been on ESPN2. Loser.