Never expected that otherwise upbeat Empire guy to do a commercial like that. Wouldn't expect anyone to. Makes the company look like its all the way downhill. Didn't anybody in the commercial industry advise them to make the company look confident and successful?
I remember the similar Heinz commercial starring Joey from Friends. He put the ketchup bottle on his window sill and then went outside and waited for it to fall to his burger or whatever it was...
Why do I feel the ketchup commercial is also trying to insert some not-so sly message about sex? 'Trust us guys, tease 'em a bit. Just hold it in and they'll be LINING. UP.'
I also really don't understand the 'no cookies' ad. What the hell is this woman talking about? Although I do love it when she says 'Graaahnd Avenue'.
Of course, any husband who could not have a cookie with his coffee in the morning because his wife did not get up at 5 to bake them would rightly whip his wife with a belt.
But now she can use her Howard Pontiac to drive to her local supermarket to buy as many pre-made and packaged cookies as her husband could ever eat!
Or indeed she could turn on the engine of her Howard Pontiac inside the garage and wait for sweet death because she can't bear to bake even one more fucking oatmeal raisin cookie.
Or maybe Howard is her husband and he makes her endlessly bake cookies as a punishment for not helping him sell his quality used Pontiacs.
How in the world did Heinz make it so far in the ketchup business when their sole marketing vehicle for 40 years has been the fact that their products container is so poorly designed that you can't get even get anything to come out of it when you hold it upside down. How is this a "feature"?
They made the hole too small! They didn't bother to calculate the expected flow rate given the pressure inside the glass bottle and the viscosity of the fluid it contained and they made the stupid hole too small! And then they made us sit through years of commercials talking about how great it was that the hole was too small!
It's not that the ketchup bottle is poorly designed. It's that the ketchup is very thick.
I could get similar results with a cheap store-brand ketchup and an industrial food-safe thickening agent, but the heavy lifting would still all be up to the marketroids.
Never expected that otherwise upbeat Empire guy to do a commercial like that. Wouldn't expect anyone to. Makes the company look like its all the way downhill. Didn't anybody in the commercial industry advise them to make the company look confident and successful?
ReplyDeleteI remember the similar Heinz commercial starring Joey from Friends. He put the ketchup bottle on his window sill and then went outside and waited for it to fall to his burger or whatever it was...
ReplyDeleteThe empire guy is real? I thought he was a cheap 3D cartoon.
ReplyDeleteCould someone please explain to me what cookies have to do with shitty used cars?
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad I gew up in Chicago. I got to watch these when they came out.
ReplyDeleteThe carpet pusher buy really makes you feel terrible for him
ReplyDeleteSo good things really come to those who wait? Lew Miles doesn't like what Heinz saus, 'cuz Lew Miles is telling me to call NOW to come to Las Vegas!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsjLwaQwf9I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZuyWFU0XtU&NR=1
Btw... hint, hint... I think I know where EIT needs to go next.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdPyMYy3bRw
:-p
i totally remember that commercial from live tv, LOL
ReplyDeleteWhy do I feel the ketchup commercial is also trying to insert some not-so sly message about sex? 'Trust us guys, tease 'em a bit. Just hold it in and they'll be LINING. UP.'
ReplyDeleteI also really don't understand the 'no cookies' ad. What the hell is this woman talking about? Although I do love it when she says 'Graaahnd Avenue'.
Of course, any husband who could not have a cookie with his coffee in the morning because his wife did not get up at 5 to bake them would rightly whip his wife with a belt.
ReplyDeleteBut now she can use her Howard Pontiac to drive to her local supermarket to buy as many pre-made and packaged cookies as her husband could ever eat!
Or indeed she could turn on the engine of her Howard Pontiac inside the garage and wait for sweet death because she can't bear to bake even one more fucking oatmeal raisin cookie.
Or maybe Howard is her husband and he makes her endlessly bake cookies as a punishment for not helping him sell his quality used Pontiacs.
So many possibilities!
It's SO strange to see the Empire guy!! He exists.
ReplyDeleteHoly shit, I live right next to Grand Avenue!
ReplyDeleteHow in the world did Heinz make it so far in the ketchup business when their sole marketing vehicle for 40 years has been the fact that their products container is so poorly designed that you can't get even get anything to come out of it when you hold it upside down. How is this a "feature"?
ReplyDeleteThey made the hole too small! They didn't bother to calculate the expected flow rate given the pressure inside the glass bottle and the viscosity of the fluid it contained and they made the stupid hole too small! And then they made us sit through years of commercials talking about how great it was that the hole was too small!
Howard isn't her husband, he's her son.
ReplyDeleteIt's not that the ketchup bottle is poorly designed. It's that the ketchup is very thick.
ReplyDeleteI could get similar results with a cheap store-brand ketchup and an industrial food-safe thickening agent, but the heavy lifting would still all be up to the marketroids.
And hey, chicks dig it! Apparently.
Heinz Gettin' Serious...
ReplyDeleteI'm gettin' serious too!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4ghHKhbZik
make it stop , MAKE IT STOPPPP
ReplyDeletegrip on the world; fading.
Before the Empire Carpet Pusher was reduced to a cheaply animated character...
ReplyDeleteHeinz Ketchup: You will get laid!
ReplyDeleteThe best advertisement I've ever seen: "Buy from us, we DON'T have cookies!"
ReplyDeleteSold.