The Mastodons are anthropomorphic racist stereotypes that want you to drink milk and, to a lesser extent, exercise. Look for their barely animated adventures in your local dairy aisle.
That Green Mastadon must be pretty smart to have learned Japanese and bad English in such a short time after arriving on Earth. Must be all those milk products we all know the Japanese love to consume.
Man, I hated eating cheese until these horrifying elephant-men told me how radical cheese is.
Seriously, I can tell when a fellow illustrator gets assigned a stupid project to work on and is just, "aw, screw this". This looks like the guy read the instructions for the short and instead said, "Aw, screw *you*!"
I will bet you a large pizza covered in artery-clogging goodness that this was made during the post-"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" Anthropomorphic Animal Superhero craze.
now listen here. i don't know what type of soy milk sippin' tofurkey planet you assholes come from, but around here we drink milk. there is one reason that this country is great and it comes in four types. whole, 2%, 1% and skim. you can keep your granola tofu to yourself and let me and my family enjoy our pizzaburgers in peace.
Oh Shit, I'm a Local Celebrity! This video came from the Goodwill in Ozark, Missouri, and they had multiple copies if anybody wants one. Have a lovely 2010!
Is that Phil Hartman doing the voiceover? This makes me sad.
ReplyDeleteRight-o, Phil. And especially terrible in how the Italian mastodon is shorter than the Asian one. Preposterous!
ReplyDeleteNothing says nutrition like hamburgers, pizza and nachos.
ReplyDeleteThat Green Mastadon must be pretty smart to have learned Japanese and bad English in such a short time after arriving on Earth. Must be all those milk products we all know the Japanese love to consume.
ReplyDeleteMan, I hated eating cheese until these horrifying elephant-men told me how radical cheese is.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I can tell when a fellow illustrator gets assigned a stupid project to work on and is just, "aw, screw this". This looks like the guy read the instructions for the short and instead said, "Aw, screw *you*!"
I will bet you a large pizza covered in artery-clogging goodness that this was made during the post-"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" Anthropomorphic Animal Superhero craze.
so solly, most unfotunate, i aporogize
ReplyDeleteIf I have a glass...or four...will you please shut up?!
ReplyDeleteNow I want to put that "INTERNET ALERT! INTERNET ALERT!" at the beginning of every blog post I make.
ReplyDeleteWatch out for those growth hormones and cancer causing casien.
ReplyDeleteNothing says eating healthy like hamburgers, pizza, and nachos.
ReplyDeletenow listen here. i don't know what type of soy milk sippin' tofurkey planet you assholes come from, but around here we drink milk. there is one reason that this country is great and it comes in four types. whole, 2%, 1% and skim. you can keep your granola tofu to yourself and let me and my family enjoy our pizzaburgers in peace.
ReplyDeleteWere they implying that I should put cheese on my ice cream?
ReplyDeleteYes, Brian. That topic was covered just prior to the Internet Alert.
ReplyDeleteMy family runs a dairy farm, and it always pissed me off that a small portion of our milk checks went to fund garbage like this.
ReplyDeleteWhat?! Not even ONE mention of how the calcium helps keep their tusks all shiney and white?!?!!? WTF, people...
ReplyDeleteThe only beast I can think of that says milk to me more than a Mastodon is a Centaur. Hell yea!
ReplyDeleteThis is why I'm vegan - I don't want to be a mastodon!
ReplyDeleteOh Shit, I'm a Local Celebrity! This video came from the Goodwill in Ozark, Missouri, and they had multiple copies if anybody wants one. Have a lovely 2010!
ReplyDeleteThank you, esophus!
ReplyDeleteThis video makes me sick.
My girlfriend and I just picked up a copy of this tape at our local St. Louis Goodwill about a week ago. And two days later it's on EIT! Fantastic.
ReplyDeleteholy shit internet alert, internet alert!! i better pay attention now that its blatantly showing itself on my screen.
ReplyDeleteScrew those dairy products, I wanna eat some mastodon!
ReplyDelete"Internet alert! Internet alert!"
ReplyDeleteHow does a VHS have anything to do with the internet? Was this thing ever on the internet? If so, why the hell was the back-up put on VHS?
Who the hell puts cheese on their ice cream?
ReplyDeletecheese-topped chesse diped in liquid cheese with a tall glass of milk
ReplyDeletetake 4 to 755 times a day
The Japanodon's voice sounded familiar. Then I heard something in the back of my mind.
ReplyDeleteSTOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM