TALKING DOGS MONTH (PART 2)

MORON MOVIES

TIME OUT

Since Commodore left for good, almost none of you have commented or shown in any way that you care. Your punishment shall be one Moron Movies clip a day until someone else posts or shows EIT some love.



Now go and think about what you've done.

I'M THE SHERIFF A' THIS HERE PHANTOM TOWN...

In high school, a bunch of us guys saw this trailer while having one of our little sleep overs. We weren't high, drunk, or methed out, but we thought this trailer was the funniest this ever. We rewound this over and over, rented the full length movie at parties, and talked it over for honestly hours at lunch and at free periods.

What the fuck were we laughing at?

A PIRATE RAP? JUST FOR ME?

I would have posted the whole song, but unless you're really high, it kinda drags on. Anyway, this buried treasure is from a Christian public access show from the 80's hosted by a man named Captain Hook. The Cap'n's story is a bit sad however. He was a biker from Indiana and lived life fast, until one day he lost a leg and an arm after wiping out on his chopper. He became a born again that very same day, and before his death had a 20 year career in television. The good news is that his show is supposedly still being broadcast in certain parts of the country, and lived the end of his days in sunny Hawaii, sippin' on non-alcoholic mai-tai's...

AN AVERAGE DAY IN 1985

Back then, we called these 'Mondays.'

SINBAD TAPES FOR THE RICH

A TERRIBLE DEAL

What kind of asshole bear takes a bite out of every brownie before selling it? Can't you get hepatitis from bear saliva?

THIS AIN'T YOUR DADDY'S RECYCLING VIDEO

Recycling has a whole new look, buster.



Oh, and just in case you didn't hate Billy Joel enough...

HEY, SATAN! WANNA PLAY?

Okay, this clip is awesome for so many reasons. It really isn't 'terrible' at all. It's really just horrifying. Here's what I like about it.
1. The kids speak to the devil as if he is their new best friend, even though he sounds like Thom Yorke crying through a low pass filter-sweep.
2. At 1:51, the girl looks like she's about to light an apple to smoke out of.
3. Mark Twain doesn't give a fuck about those kids, and he just stands there and thinks while they enter hell.
4. No child could watch this and not cry. I almost did.