Wednesday, September 30, 2009

EVERYTHING IS WEARABLE!

You asked for them, now they're here, Everything is Terrible! T-Shirts!


BUY NOW! BUY NOW! BUY NOW! BUY NOW! BUY NOW!

Also if you see anyone wearing one of these overpriced bootlegs, you should steal it immediately.*

*EIT not responsible for consequences of theft.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

WANNA LOSE FAT?!



Special thanks to UCB Comedy for hosting some of our new vids!

Monday, September 28, 2009

EIT TAKES TEXAS

EIT's first ever Texas retreat was a smashing success! Big thanks to John Gross and the rest of the staff at the Alamo Drafthouse for showing us a great time. For those of you who were at the Burlington Coat Factory that night, here is a taste of the show:





We even got to go to the mall, something we do not have in our homeland of the Internet.

EIT Takes Texas

EIT Takes Texas

EIT Takes Texas

Thursday, September 24, 2009

GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!!!

As much as I love creating pointless Trapper Keeper inspired artwork, please don't make me have to do any more of these.

AUSTIN FANS GET YOUR TICKETS HERE
HOUSTON FANS GET YOUR TICKETS HERE

We've got the movie in all it's analog glory, a ton of unseen footage, posters for sale, and EIT is proud to announce that both shows will premiere brand new EIT T-SHIRTS! Yeah, you heard me. It's gonna be better than anything that has ever happened, ever.

DOT COM BOOMERS

The Internet: Bridging generation gaps... one modem at a time.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

TEXAS FANS! TIME TO MEET YOUR MAKERS!

Seriously, folks. We are coming to Texas and we like to party. Hard.

So won't you come and see the EIT gang in Austin and Houston this weekend? We'd really like to meet you guys, get some VHS outlet store tips, good grub, etc. SEE YA THERE, LOVERS!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

EIT BREAKING NEWS!!!

Our Terrible World lost a great voice, and a greater hunter in 2006 when tree stand mogul, Bob Hice, ascended God's Metal Pole in the sky to rest for eternity in the safest, most comfortable tree stand known to man.

Monday, September 21, 2009

GET TO WORK, TEENS!

Dude, these hip thirty-year-old teens will show you how to make serious bills in the Teen Biz biz. Suuuuweeeet!

Friday, September 18, 2009

HOWARD'S WESTERN STEER FOUR-PART BORING WEEK GRAND FINALE




RICK "CRUSHER" SCHERR AND THE SLUGGERS FROM HOWARD'S WESTERN STEER DISCUSS HITTING FOR POWER


BUDDY SLATER BREAKS DOWN FINER POINTS OF THE SLOW-PITCH KNUCKLEBALL


COACH BOBBY LUTZ AND RUSSELL "ROOSTER" BRADLEY SHIFT THEIR ATTENTION TO THE DEFENSIVE SIDE OF THE BALL


CLOSING REMARKS FROM COACH BOBBY LUTZ AND MR. RICHARD HOWARD HIMSELF

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

THIS HAS TO BE THE MOST TERRIBLE THING EVER

What could be worse than this? Honestly, I dare you all to find something worse. Running time on the entire tape: 47 MINUTES. And it's all like this! All of it! She just doesn't stop! For 47 minutes!

Monday, September 14, 2009

THERE ARE SO MANY GODDAMN WAYS TO WIN BINGO



We here at EIT often encounter some of the most eye-gougingly tedious videos ever committed to tape, and every now and then, we have to pass that pain onto you.

Kicking off Boring Week is the return of EIT's resident Las Vegas Guru explaining every possible way to win bingo. Enjoy.



BORING BONUS: Rainbow Spirit!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

WHO THE HELL IS JACOB ANDERSON?

Breaking news! This blog was featured in yesterday's Guardian and apparently this site is completely run by Jacob Anderson, which is news to us because we have never heard of this person until this article. So who the hell is Jacob Anderson?

This mystery leaves us with two very important questions:

Friday, September 11, 2009

KEEP THAT 'CRACKER AWAY FROM ME

From "Learn the Art of Whip Cracking Made Easy"



OFFICIAL REMIX CHALLENGE! We are challenging everyone to remix this video to Devo's "Whip It". You have until midnight (PST) on Friday, Sept.18th, to submit your video as a response. Entries will be judged by the founding members of Everything Is Terrible and the winner will be posted on our site. So yeah. Get to... crackin'...

UPDATE!!! Nobody wins the official remix challenge because we got no entries! Terrible job, everybody!!!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

DON'T FORGET THAT NAME!

I swear that up until the bumper at the end, I did not once repeat a clip. The full length VHS is also only 10 minutes long.



JUST FOR KIDZ!
Can you count the correct number of times they say the word "IMITREX" in this video? The first person to leave a comment with the answer receives a special secret prize! For real!

UPDATE!!!
Congratulations to Kyle of Los Angeles, CA!! You win with a correct guess of 40!

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

A BRIEF HISTORY OF JOCK JAMS

Remember, kids, if you really want to break into the music business, practice your ballwork.

Meet the Chicago 6, Chicago's own professional athlete supergroup!


And New Jack Swing, who will blow your mind on the court and the charts...or something...

Monday, September 07, 2009

EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE!: THE MOVIE HITS STORES

New York! You can now get Everything is Terrible!: The Movie for $15 at the greatest porn/kung fu/"terrible" VHS store in the East Village, Blue Door Video. If you are in the neighborhood and want to save yourself $5 on our DVD and also want a neon green strap on and a copy of Ichi the Killer this is the place to be!



Blue Door Video, 1st Ave. Between 5th & 6th Sts.

***************************************
And for those of you who think that Midwest is best, Everything Is Terrible!: The Movie is also available at these fine Chicago retailers:

Quimby's, 1854 W North Ave.
Chicago Comics, 3244 N Clark St.
Permanent Records, 1914 W Chicago Ave.
Brainstorm, 1648 W North Ave.
...you can even rent it at our beloved Odd Obsession Video, 1822 N. Milwaukee Ave!!!

Friday, September 04, 2009

AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SUCH A GREAT SOLAR POWERED BOAT...

In his adulthood, Eddie was going to fix the economic downturn, solve the energy crisis, and end world hunger. But then Eddie tried crack.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

INFOMERCIAL HELL



Big thanks to our new friends over at Funny or Die. Go vote on this video so we don't die!

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

THE (2-MINUTE) SKATEBOARD KID

It's not Dom DeLuise popping an ollie -- but it's close.